Private affair

Crazyhorse

Crazyhorse

Suspended / Banned
Messages
1,331
Edit My Images
Yes
Hi

An acquaintance of mine has asked if I'll jazz up some photos she's taken of her friend's son. Of course, I said I'll do that if I can. (If the photos aren't too blurred etc).

However, the boys mother is dying, probably has a year to live, her son must be sixteen. If the photos my acquaintance has taken are no good, I was going to offer to go over and take some shots, if they want me to, they might not.

I have a question though, how do I do photograph a woman and her son knowing she's dying? I'm sure I'll start crying. I find that as I'm getting older, this sort of thing hits me. Anyone got experience of this?

Any advice appreciated.

Thanks.

Lisa
 
Hi Lisa, I once photographed the wedding of a young lady who I knew was going to die of cancer within a few days. She was obviously very happy when she saw the album. She died the following day.

By supplying her with good photographs, I like to think I bought some happiness into her last hours.

You can do the same for this lady.
 
Anyone got experience of this?
Click to expand...

Not personally.

You do it with care and respect. Like this guy did - http://www.dayswithmyfather.com/

Once you get to realise how important it is to get the shots, then it becomes easier. I shoot my family from time to time because I have to. Its hard at times.
 
Thanks for the replies folks, greatly appreciated and i'll take it all on board.

Apparently, it was a year if she had further chemo, but she's declined further treatment as its spread.

Lisa
 
Just after I joined TP, there was a thread called "what's your best shot and why" - it was packed with beautiful photo's - technically amazing, fantastic locations. I read through the entire thread, then thought about what shot, if any I could post.

In the end, I didn't contribute my best shot because it was too personal. It was a simple cameraphone shot of my Mother, sat with her arm around my dad, laughing at something he'd said. Two months earlier she'd been diagnosed with inoperable cancer and given 6 months to live. Nearly three years later, she finally gave up the fight.

That Cameraphone shot, badly exposed and composed as it was was the last shot I had of her looking happy. It still means the world to me - more than any other shot i've taken.

So - you take the job, concentrate on doing a fantastic job, deliver the best shot's you've ever taken, and know you've made the family happy - even if you DO go home afterwards and cry your eye's out...

(as i've been doing ever since looking through the link Peter posted above!)
 
talk to them about it...it releases tension and puts everything on a clear footing
if you were dying and had a year...would you want to talk about it..
 
mobilevirgin said:
You do it with care and respect. Like this guy did - http://www.dayswithmyfather.com/
Click to expand...
What a beautiful, moving site. Thanks for posting it.

Crazyhorse said:
I have a question though, how do I do photograph a woman and her son knowing she's dying? I'm sure I'll start crying. I find that as I'm getting older, this sort of thing hits me. Anyone got experience of this?
Click to expand...
I've no experience of this exact situation, but I think you should approach it as it were a normal shoot - try to treat them just as you would anyone else. If they bring it up then talk about it if you can. I'm sure it will be tough for you, but I think if you do a good job it will bring them some happiness as a result, something you will be proud of.

Good luck with it.
 
mobilevirgin said:
Not personally.

You do it with care and respect. Like this guy did - http://www.dayswithmyfather.com/

Once you get to realise how important it is to get the shots, then it becomes easier. I shoot my family from time to time because I have to. Its hard at times.
Click to expand...

That is the most touching thing I have come across for a while - so simple but effective :'(
 
Crazyhorse said:
Hi

An acquaintance of mine has asked if I'll jazz up some photos she's taken of her friend's son. Of course, I said I'll do that if I can. (If the photos aren't too blurred etc).

However, the boys mother is dying, probably has a year to live, her son must be sixteen. If the photos my acquaintance has taken are no good, I was going to offer to go over and take some shots, if they want me to, they might not.

I have a question though, how do I do photograph a woman and her son knowing she's dying? I'm sure I'll start crying. I find that as I'm getting older, this sort of thing hits me. Anyone got experience of this?

Any advice appreciated.

Thanks.

Lisa
Click to expand...

If the shots that come are not better than what you may be able to do, I would offer to photograph them.

Not saying it will not be hard, and having read the days with my father I am holding back tears, but I think you owe it to them and yourself to do it.

I happened across this thread tonight after looking through the family photos of years gone, and those of my grandmother, who I miss to this day (she too died of cancer). Those badly exposed shots mean more to me than anything I will ever shoot, or that of any photographer ever.

Look at it another way. You have a chance to make a change to a family. The photos you take could be some of the most treasured possessions of that family their entire lives. You will have gifted someone with a memory, and that cannot be beaten. No magazine cover, no book cover, no gallery show will ever compare to the appreciation a personal photograph can give to someone.

I hope you keep this thread updated so we know how it goes, and I am sure many of us out there will help in any way we can with the technical side, PP etc. if you need help, just shout.

Sorry if I waffled a bit, but seeing a picture of my grandmother tonight made me happy but tearful, as she is the same beautiful woman I remember her to be.
 
When my dad died we went through all our photo's trying to find a decent one of him. It's not that he was particularly camera shy, just that no-one thought of pointing a camera at him.

I lost my Dad, big sister and Mum in a very short time to cancer and really don't have to many shots of them. Take photo's of your family whilst you can.
 
Hi Lisa

No one can answer your question as it is really down to how you can manage. As a pro photographer I have been asked to do things along these lines many times. The most potential heart-breaking occassion was a lady whose son had been totally paralised since birth, no movement, no talk nothing. He was about 5 and she wanted a photograph of him superimposed onto a cherub - this was pre photoshop days.

We fullfilled her request and saw her many years later. Her son was dead but her most treasured photograph (her words) was the one we had done. When ever she looked at the photograph she had good thoughts about her son being with the angels.

stew
 
Such a moving thread. The gift you can give this family is beyond measure. I'm a big bloke and I would be scared of the same thing as you - crying during the shoot. Yah I'm a bit emotional like that. Not got any real advice to give you - but definitely just wanted to say well done for doing such an amazing thing for them...

When I found out my dad has an extremely serious illness (can't bring myself to say the T word) with no cure I got all my crying done in private before I went over to visit him. I sat in my room alone and forced myself to think about things thoroughly and let myself cry unashamedly and with no limits to it.

I found that this really helped me to keep it together when i met my Dad. I don't know if its good advice though - but it did help me...

That website linked above is inspiring. I'm going to take some pictures of my mum and dad as soon as i can.
 
Hi

Thank you so much for all your comments and taking the time to share some of your experiences and the offer of help post processing. It really is appreciated.

My acquaintance emailed four pics she'd taken of the woman's son. One was ok to use, I spent about an hour on it recovering highlights, dodging, burning and putting another background in place (as that was the main thing she wanted me to do), sharpening etc, etc. I emailed it to my acquaintance and she was over the moon, she's taking it to be printed off and is buying a frame.

She thanked me for my offer to go and do some photos of the family but said she's not going to broach the subject with the lady yet as they are obviously, still in shock, having only been given the prognosis last week.

Thanks again.

Lisa
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top