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trencheel303

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Are you in a place of safety?
 
Whatever it is and whatever kicked it off this time, remember this: this time next week or next month or next year you'll look back and wonder why you felt bad.
Time heals: easy to say, but it's true.
For now:
Go to bed and sleep it off. Things always look a whole lot better in the morning with a cup of tea.
 
Good to hear you're OK.

Is the abuser likely to harm anyone else? Do you seek justice?

If you saw Victoria Pendleton the cyclist crash on the news this evening, well she got back on and won. Your willpower can be very strong, allowing you to get on with the task at hand and make time for healing later. But the raw nerve and aversion to the circumstances that caused the pain are sometimes best not revisited. That's for you and a professional to decide: whether to, and if so how to face your demons.
 
If it keeps coming back please find someone to talk to face to face. Someone I know was abused as a child and never got help even though his doctor knows a fair bit of what happened. Now at nearly 60 he will not talk to a professional person about it as he feels he is too old and is too proud to admit how its affected him. When he does talk to me I listen but feel totally helpless as I cannot help him because I have no idea how to help.
 
Stop drinking then - maudlin thoughts and alcohol don't mix...
 
Well I hope you are feeling a bit better now :hug: Only thing I can suggest is trying to find a friend who you can phone and talk to if you do get upset, thats what I do for the person I know and I gradually get the conversation round to happier things so he stops crying and hangs up thinking about positive things.
 
if you feel like this ......you need help, go get it.
Doctors can aim you in the right direction but we cant, we can talk but cant give help in any way
 
trencheel303 said:
For everyone who posted in this thread, thanks for talking to me.

I am going to arrange a psychologist on Monday. I should have done this a long time ago now, but enough is enough, it stops here. Thanks for a push in the right direction.

Susie: I am going to take up your idea I think! I have a good few people who I could phone up in situations like last night. I often lack the courage but I will try harder.
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The first step is the hardest, you have done that already by coming out and saying it so hopefully it should now start to get easier:thumbs:
 
You know what? Everyone ... and I mean EVERYONE had traumatic things happen to them when they were younger. It may have been something as simple as getting the blame for something they didn't do that has left them feeling victimised, it may have been someone touching them inappropriately that has left them feeling vulnerable.

It could be anything at any level.

I'll not go into my demons too deeply but my Wife couldn't understand why I wasn't visibly upset when my best mate died. I'd known him for years and together we had been to hell and back, my wife was my girlfriend back then, she had known him only for a couple of months but was devastated by his sudden death.

My Wife had never made the acquaintance of death at that stage, it was her first time. As well as what had happened to me in my early life, I had known death up close and personal. My daughter from a previous relationship had died in my arms, after that I found that no-ones death makes me cry.

So when my mate died, I felt bad but I didn't feel consumed by the loss yet my Wife did.

Everyone's life is different and the trauma that we each experience throughout life is not quantifiable, there is no measure for the pain we feel.

What is measurable is how we cope with it and how we allow it to affect us later in life.

The childhood I had would be considered by most to be horrific. My life started off bad from the moment I was born, from there it went downhill. However, I reckon my friend Dave had a worse time of it and if you can find a book called "Believe" then you can read about it. Dave reckons my early life was worse.

What both of us agree is that it's not a competition, what matters is how you cope with it in adult life. You can either dwell on what has happened and allow it to control you life as an adult or you can put it behind you and start living your life how YOU want to live it.

Your an adult. Make your choice. You can continue to be a victim all your life and surround yourself with psychologists and psychiatrists who will give you the attention you crave, tell you that he was a bad, bad man and ooze sympathy from every pore.

Or you can start to realise that you are an adult and as an adult you are able to make your own life choices. You can choose to put this behind you as one of the traumatic things that life tends to throw at you. Then you can take charge of your own life and stop blaming something that happened when you were unable to make those choices.

What are you going to be for the rest of your life? A victim?

Your decision.
 
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trencheel303 said:
I made this post last night as I was particularly low and just wanted people to talk to.
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talking from experience please please see your doctor to get you in with someone to talk to,
just because you feel ok now does not make it better,
you have issues about what happened to you and talking to someone who is trained to take you through step by step will help the healing process,
the fact that you reached out to talk is a good sign but i dont believe that open forum will help you get to the root cause which is what you need to do.

believe me it will not be easy
it will be upsetting
it will hurt
but one day you will be happy you saw someone

i hope you get what you need so you can move on i did and it worked!
 
I guess I'm a little late for the talk, only just found this thread.

:( It's the times when you feel sad and down that are the hardest.
If you feel angry about your past, you can use that energy and turn it into something positive . . . when you're just feeling hurt and upset it's like a big weight that pulls you down and it's very difficult to get past that.

What I can tell you is that talking helps and that you won't find the solution in the bottom of a bottle.

I hope you get the support you need to move on from this, whether it's through confiding in a friend or seeking medical help.

Whatever you do, my thoughts are with you. x
 
I just saw this thread. I'm glad you are seeing a psychologist. They should be able to help you. I worked as a psychologist for the NHS and worked with many survivors of abuse. So I know you can be helped.I hope it all went well for you in your first session.
 
One of my friends showed me her blog when I had similar feelings to you. I've been a victim of domestic abuse for the past 7 years, and it's still ongoing. Here is the link - http://confessionsofateenagesomebody.blogspot.com .

You're not the only one out there. I know that doesn't help, but there's not much that can. Abusers don't suddenly realise that what they're doing is wrong and stop it. It just doesn't happen.
 
Sorry for the lateness too. On reading, I did wonder also if anything had triggered your feelings when you posted the other day? It's quite a brave post but I guess good that you reached out to talk.
I have found on the Sane site they have a useful forum, I know there are people who have been through similar experiences and there are often people on most times and through the early hours too if you feel insomnia. There are a few helpful regulars and thrashing away your feelings via the keyboard can be therapeutic too! Take care.
 
Ah yes, sorry. Intoxication and inhibitions.
Still, give Sane forums a try, they're helpful even just for a good talk. Its good to talk!
 
trencheel303 said:
You say it's still ongoing, may I ask what you have done to try and escape it?
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I've just got on with my life. I've got more important things to worry about. I'm still in full time education.

I don't try to "escape" it, as that, for me, equals "running away" from my problem. There are much better ways to deal with it.
 
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