Let me be really clear
1. there are many photographers who shoot weddings, each will offer a "right approach" to shooting a wedding. There isn't an absolute right way, or right kit list
2. there is a general consensus you need (at least) 2 backs I use 2, with a different lens on each. This saves swapping lenses, and helps prevent getting muck on a sensor. I am not saying dont swap lenses, I am saying from my point of view it is quicker and easier to have a different lens on each back. We happen to bring a couple more spare backs which we leave securely in the car/hotel reception etc..
3. there is a general consensus that you need duplicate equipment where practicable, especially for fragile things like flashguns, key lenses and backs
4. while a lot of photographers think that shooting wide open is the way to go, there are plenty that take the other approach, and others use the whole range of apetures, and some use exactly the same aperture all day
5. Some use flash, some barley touch it
6. Points 4&5 are often dictated / influenced by the equipment you have (or not), or the style you want to shoot... and other external influences - e.g. when the registrar says "you cant use flash"
7. Insurance is a must, monopod or not
8. a monopod / triopod allows you to be not be forced to use the 1.8 end of a lens. if your style naturally uses this end of the lens, dont pack one. If you need/want the option, take one with you
9. Being 6'5 I find my natural standing up shooting height very useful for candid's, but often too high for groups. Sometimes a tripod makes my life a lot more comfortable, especially if I want to be constantly at a "shooting from the hip" height. For groups, having a tripod allows you to concentrate more on the group (with both eyes). Again this is a style/preference thing
On aperture - there are 2 reasons for choosing an aperture - because you want to for creative reasons (DOF) or because you are forced to.. extreme lighting levels. At the extreme end one has a choice.. change ISO, use a tripod, use more lighting, use a ND filter. On a personal note, I am not phased by the weight / bulk of carrying the extra kit around
On lighting - some photographers use flash, some don't, the sun in California is the same brightness as the sun here. My wedding a couple of Saturdays ago at 4.00 was dark, because of the time of day, and the time of year (and the dark oak panelled rooms). Outdoors, on full sunlight, on a normal sunny day, exposure will be the same in California, and the UK. Lighting indoors (in a similar type of room) will be the same. This is why I asked the OP what time and date is the wedding
From a business point of view, the OP would be mad to invest in loads of expensive fast glass for one wedding (consider hiring it / borrowing etc..) (learn it inside out first)
Assuming the OP is a competent photographer, the OP will find that it is all the other things on the day that present the greatest challenges.. managing people, venues, time.. and ... in the fury the challenge is remaining fresh and creative and not forgetting a basic all day long