Other dads, please help calm my nerves

Get yourself a dog, then you can utter the immortal line

"There's only two sets of balls go up those stairs, mine and the dog's."

Doesn't work if you live in a bungalow though. You might sound a bit stupid then.:
 
I have read this thread with a grin on my face, I have a son who Is one on the 26th of this month, my best mate has a daughter who is 5 months old.

He has already warned to me to make sure my boy never lays a finger on his daughter when the time comes lol.
 
Daughter brought boyfriend round for the first time . have you seen any photos of me?
He looks very scared.
Wore a vest that shows off my tattoos, had a grade two haircut and wore my steel toecap boots.
I showed him my collection of hunting knives.......and grinned a lot.
 
Met my 16 year old sister's bf for the first time the other day. I asked twitter what I should do or say to him to strike the fear of god into him...

best response ever:

haha if you really want to **** him up wink and say "she's a great kisser isn't she?"
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