Open plan office workers - have you got these characters?

DorsetDude

DorsetDude

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Keith
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The one who sniffs/clears his throat/coughs all day, every day, all year?
The one who rolls in 3/4 of an hour later than everyone else because he has to 'get the kids to school' (and then still rolls in at the same time when school holidays are on)?
The one with the annoying mobile phone ringtone/text alert/twitter alert/facebook alert (who never takes his mobile with him when he's away from the desk)?
The one who eats lunch at his desk with mouth wide open, slurping and smacking and bits of food flying out and landing everywhere?
The one who is *so* busy he cant afford 15 minutes to sit in the canteen for lunch and eat so brings chips/pizza/curry back to his desk?
The one who seems to be asleep every time you go past or glance over?
The one who violently sneezes and snots all over his monitor/keyboard?
The one who goes on TP posting pointless moans about his co-workers? :oops: :$

And the one I actually like:
The one who sits quietly at his desk and gets on with his work quietly and who you hardly know is there. Luckily I am near 2 of those at present.

That is all.
 
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Wow bad day at the office sir..? :D
The one that gets me is someone is on a headset and their mobile rings and they just look at it and carry on talking **turn the volume down** :punch:
 
The one that annoys me in my office at the moment is the woman of 'advanced age' that has a brand new samsung Galaxy S5 (because her Grandson suggested she gets one), and has no idea how to use it. It keeps going off during the day with a really annoying, really loud tone and you see her fighting with the bloody phone trying to either answer it or turn it down or something. One day last week, it went off in the middle of the day and she get so frustrated that she ended up throwing it in her desk drawer so that she couldnt hear it any longer.
 
I was the last in our small but stoic band to give in to the ipod as a means of concentration. I treated myself to over-ear phones instead of those horrible buds, but was mortified when people 2 desks away could tell what I was listening to. :oops: :$
 
Peter B said:
I was the last in our small but stoic band to give in to the ipod as a means of concentration. I treated myself to over-ear phones instead of those horrible buds, but was mortified when people 2 desks away could tell what I was listening to. :oops: :$
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Ive got Kylie on at the moment and am finding it very soothing...
 
You seem to have forgotten one:
Brings his toothbrush to work so he can obsessively clean his teeth after lunch... but has BO worse than a rotting badgers corpse because he "doesn't believe in antiperspirants or deodorants".

Thank goodness I don't work in an office any more.
 
You've forgotten...

... the one who thinks it's cute to stick those little stickers off his lunchtime apples all round the perimeter of his monitor until the actual frame is not longer visible...
... the one who's a Dr Who freak and clutters up his desk with toy daleks, cybermen, a tardis etc etc ...
... the woman who breeds toy poodles/cats/shetland ponies/pot bellied pigs and has pictures of them all over her desk, as her screen saver etc ...
... the one who delights in going on those sites that specialise in sick "jokes" (for which read tasteless, offensive one-liners) and insists on "amusing" his colleagues ...

At my last foray into the open plan office scenario, one person embodied 3 of the above. I still shudder at the memory. Thank god for retirement ....
 
we have one that moans and complains about everyone else without realising what a pain in the ass he is lol ;)
 
Well, going by what I've read here it appears it's only the blokes who are pains (he/him/his blah dee blah). I know a few wimmin that fit that bill too.:rolleyes:
 
Quicksnapper said:
You've forgotten...

... the one who thinks it's cute to stick those little stickers off his lunchtime apples all round the perimeter of his monitor until the actual frame is not longer visible...
... the one who's a Dr Who freak and clutters up his desk with toy daleks, cybermen, a tardis etc etc ...
... the woman who breeds toy poodles/cats/shetland ponies/pot bellied pigs and has pictures of them all over her desk, as her screen saver etc ...
... the one who delights in going on those sites that specialise in sick "jokes" (for which read tasteless, offensive one-liners) and insists on "amusing" his colleagues ...

At my last foray into the open plan office scenario, one person embodied 3 of the above. I still shudder at the memory. Thank god for retirement ....
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WTF are you doing in my (open plan) office!!!
 
The poor soul who after working on his own outdoors for years gets moved to an office full of these lunatics. Then one day loses it letting them know in no uncertain terms how unpleasant they all are?
Probably not because I left and took early retirement, what an awful life and thank heavens I didn't have to endure it for long
 
People who are never happy with the temperature - put the a/c on and they are "chilly" so they want it off, only to complain it's "stuffy" a few minutes later.
 
boliston said:
People who are never happy with the temperature - put the a/c on and they are "chilly" so they want it off, only to complain it's "stuffy" a few minutes later.
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I don't work in an open office, I work in an engine dyno control room. It's air conditioned only problem is the controls are in another dyno control room, so I have to tolerate how someone else wants the temperature. :(
 
You could all come and work in my office, I have fun colleagues to work with, CLICK
 
boliston said:
People who are never happy with the temperature - put the a/c on and they are "chilly" so they want it off, only to complain it's "stuffy" a few minutes later.
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Ooooh quite agree... we have a few young girlies who wwere stupidly inappropriate tops for the weather conditions and then moan about it being cold in December. Come July and knocking on 30 degs, wearing jumpers.
 
This thread has confirmed the impression I got when I had to visit offices as part of my work as an electrical engineer surveyor for one of the major insurance companies, and how lucky I was to work from home meeting different people each day.

On the subject of staff complaints about the office temperature, I used to visit an office in Great Portland Street in London where the poor maintenance engineer was continually being driven mad by two particular female staff members. One was a lady of a certain age who always worn a jumper or cardigan, and the other was in her early twenties who was obviously proud of her figure and liked to show it off by wearing sheer blouses. If he adjusted the temperature for the older lady, the younger one complained of being cold and vice versa, and both of them were convinced that it was all the engineer's fault

On one visit he was talking to me about it and asked if I, being an independent outsider, would talk to the ladies to explain that it wasn't his fault. Being a helpful sort of person, and not being adverse to meeting a young lady with a nice figure ;), I agreed. When I visited the particular floor I noticed that the older lady was sat close to a window and away from the air conditioning vent, whereas the younger one was almost directly below one. I asked if there would be a problem if they swapped desks with each other, they said that there wasn't, in fact they would prefer each other's desks, so it was arranged that they would.

About a week later I rang the engineer and asked him if they were now happy. He said that they were and thanked me for noticing that the problem was due to the positions of their desks, but, still being convinced that it was a problem with the air conditioning, they now asked him how I had fixed the problem so quickly when he had failed for so long :)
 
yep, to most of the first post,

i'm the quiet one that just gets on with it
 
I worked in an open plan office years ago. My boss would disappear to the loo with his newspaper every morning, and was generally away for almost an hour. By which time it was not long to wait for lunch time when it was off down the pub for an hour and a half. No-one in management ever questioned him on it.
 
I have someone sat behind me now who clearly thinks its a slight to his masculinity to blow his nose, so we get a full day of him gargling snot at the greatest volume he can manage.

next to him is another attention seeker who has a style of sneezing that seems to mix in a shout which you can hear across the street

next to me is someone who can chew through an apple in a way that would make drilling the crossrail tunnel sound quiet

and mr tupperware opposite me who has to spend a couple of minutes rapidly scraping away at his lunchbox in order to recover the last molecule of food.
 
essexash said:
I have someone sat behind me now who clearly thinks its a slight to his masculinity to blow his nose, so we get a full day of him gargling snot at the greatest volume he can manage.

next to him is another attention seeker who has a style of sneezing that seems to mix in a shout which you can hear across the street

next to me is someone who can chew through an apple in a way that would make drilling the crossrail tunnel sound quiet

and mr tupperware opposite me who has to spend a couple of minutes rapidly scraping away at his lunchbox in order to recover the last molecule of food.
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So glad I have my own office.
 
Those that can't get on with their co-workers and complain incessantly at any little foible that others may have (Usually behind their back) ;)
 
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Id get on with them fine if they weren't such f***tards. And of course its behind their back. Going up to "Andy" and going, "pooey mate, a bit whiffy again today arent we? Did you fall down a sewage manhole on the way in or forget to shower this month again?" Not going to do a lot for office relationships is it.

Im sure theres people saying Im a boring b*****d who never talks to anyone or who's always got his finger up his nose or whatever.

Disclaimer: I may have missed the smiley. ;)
 
the middle aged lady who's an agent for beanie babies/jelly cat and has a menagerie of soft toys on her desk
the girl who dresses like she's going clubbing
the man who dresses like he's been clubbing then spent the night in a ditch
the man who snorts the contents of his nose into his mouth and then swallows
the man who cleans the toilet with the sink scourer then puts it back in the sink
the one who spends more time at the coffee machine than he does at his desk
the one who's the first to arrive and the last to leave but doesnt actually appear to do anything in between

(I'm so glad i'm a team leader and rate my own office these days)
 
DorsetDude said:
Id get on with them fine if they weren't such f***tards. And of course its behind their back. Going up to "Andy" and going, "pooey mate, a bit whiffy again today arent we? Did you fall down a sewage manhole on the way in or forget to shower this month again?" Not going to do a lot for office relationships is it.

Im sure theres people saying Im a boring b*****d who never talks to anyone or who's always got his finger up his nose or whatever.

Disclaimer: I may have missed the smiley. ;)
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No insult intended Keith, post was made in jest :)
 
POAH said:
we have one that moans and complains about everyone else without realising what a pain in the ass he is lol ;)
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Fortunately I a rarely had to contend with that. However there was one once who just could not take the smallest criticism. That was particularly difficult when you had to check her work before signing it off. There had to be an inquest on everything.
 
oh yeah and the one who has nauseating " I love you too snugglebear" type conversations with her boyfreind on her mobile at her desk 5 or 6 times a day. I had a female manager who used to do that and it drove the rest of the office nuts... to the point that we actually contemplated buying a mobile phone jammer from the states.
 
fabs said:
For me it's the people who leave their mobile phones on their desks when they go to meetings, usually with really loud and annoting ringtones!
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When that used to happen I'd change the ring tone to jingle bells :)
 
And the display language to Greek or Russian.
 
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