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barsbyart

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Paul Barsby
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It appears that a comment of mine has inadvertantly upset someone. They have asked me not to reply to their PM and I respect that.

It was not my intention to upset anyone.

Let my mistake serve as a reminder to all; it's easy to misunderstand and be misunderstood in a forum. Hopefully, the smilies should help prevent this but not always.

PM-ing is the best way to resolve an issue if you are upset by anything but also try to ascertain the original intent.
 
It happens ... :shrug: ... you are not the first and I'm pretty sure you will not be the last ... ;)

At least you know the risks and have recognised the problem so hopefully you won't fall into the same trap again ... :D

I guess an apology is due but if not via a PM as indicated perhaps your problem person will see how bad you feel and accept the mistake as genuine ... :shrug: ... I hope so for you ...




:p
 
I was on a forum and someone said something.. I said something back.. an argument went on and I basically said whatever I needed to say to wind him up in response to his posts (in 15 years online I have never used the F word or felt the need to be that sort of poster.. and never will)

Anyways the guy in question seems to have more pull than is healthy and decided to grab quotes and go to other forums quoting me. This led to a lot of people thinking XYZ about me and thinking all the wrong things.. To this day it still comes back to haunt me as the tales spread ...

I just leave them to it. No one says anything out here in the 3d world.. I tend to treat the internet as another world and not let it overlap into real life..

But I have stopped winding people up :)
 
Thanks both. Just a misunderstanding.

Your experience sounds scary, KIPAX! At least in 3D world you can look into the eyes of the guy you're winding-up and give up/run away if necessary. But in the cyberworld you never know who you're dealing with.
 
Like 99%, I'd like to think that I make friends when I'm on the net and have no intent to upset anyone.

On the other side though, this is only the internet and I do worry about people that can get genuinely upset by things that appear on their computer screen, written by people that they've never meet and mean nothing to them.

Nice of you to apologise out here though barsbyart, it's a considerate move. :)
 
It's very easy for people to misunderstand something written, when they probably wouldn't have if the words were spoken or even were conversing face to face.

I work on the basis that comments made in forums such as these are meant in friendly way. The sort of conversation you'd have in a pub. However people can take things in a different way.

I have seen forums where nothing short of character assassination takes place when differently held views are expressed. Generally these don't help anyone, but they can be amusing to the bystander
 
Chappers said:
It's very easy for people to misunderstand something written, when they probably wouldn't have if the words were spoken or even were conversing face to face.
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I had a similar experience on a different photography forum several months back. I wrote a simple one line retort exactly as I would have said it...but without the benefit of the vocal inflection. The OP took great exception to my few words and his clearly stated disgust was viciously attacked by others and a 'free for all' ensued. The forum in question is a little more international in its membership and it taught me much about cultural differences in the way people interpret posts.
The matter was swiftly resolved (at least my part of it) with an explanatory PM littered with appologies. I recieved a similar PM accepting and offering a counter-appology for being touchy.
It is strange how this can lead to a bond between the two antagonists...it has in our case. I later admitted to the other party that I had kept the PM...he had done the same!

Bob
 
Well if someone misunderstood your comment, that's fair enough....but if they then refused to accept an apology, then theyre probably so self important theyre not worth bothering about.

Dont worry about it barsbyart :)
 
Got to agree with Marcel, i bet ive said things on here and other forums that people dont all agree with, think is downright rude or whatever... But its my opinion.

And also ive had things said to me that ive disagreed with, and i respect other peoples opinions, so ive read, argued and taken onboard others opinions... Some times i think, ¨Fine thats your opinion, i think your wrong, but mehhh...¨

I cannot understand how anyone could take anything said on a forum that personally they would feel the need to PM and also state they dont want a reply... :thinking:
 
I use a very busy nightclub website, and the amount of people that join up just to wind people up or slag someone off is beyond a joke. And as for misunderstood comments, they happen so many times every day.. you can't always explain what you mean when you type, I know I can't!
 
I guess we've all seen it happen somewhere on forums or the 'real' world.

I'm quite 'thick-skinned' when it comes to comments made about or to me - I don't generally mind. But I'm the opposite when something I say accidentally upsets others - it bothers me. I will apologise if I can but if I can't I 'move on' and let it go.

I posted here as a backdoor apology/retraction and as a warning to others (newbies) of what can happen.

Thanks for sharing your experiences - very interesting reading!
 
I`ve been on a guitarist forum for years, over that period of time we`ve met up reguarly raised a few thousand quid for the drake music foundation in Bristol, generally we`re on first name terms now.

The publishers that run the site have just merged us with another site (electronic, computer generated musicians). Now, there`s no problem with that, except that I make off the cuff remarks, normally a little sarcastic TBH!

The new guys don`t know me from adam, so I`ve had to go all sensible again. Sarcasm is one trait that definitely doesn`t translate well over the net!
 
minky_monkey said:
I`ve been on a guitarist forum for years, over that period of time we`ve met up reguarly raised a few thousand quid for the drake music foundation in Bristol, generally we`re on first name terms now.

The publishers that run the site have just merged us with another site (electronic, computer generated musicians). Now, there`s no problem with that, except that I make off the cuff remarks, normally a little sarcastic TBH!

The new guys don`t know me from adam, so I`ve had to go all sensible again. Sarcasm is one trait that definitely doesn`t translate well over the net!
Click to expand...

It does`nt?
 
barsbyart said:
It appears that a comment of mine has inadvertantly upset someone. They have asked me not to reply to their PM and I respect that.

It was not my intention to upset anyone.
>>>>Let my mistake serve as a reminder to all; it's easy to misunderstand and be misunderstood in a forum. Hopefully, the smilies should help prevent this but not always.<<<<

PM-ing is the best way to resolve an issue if you are upset by anything but also try to ascertain the original intent.
Click to expand...
I'll agree with that after the misunderstanding I had with Petemc last night.
 
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