Nuns

KIPAX

KIPAX

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KIPAX Lancashire UK
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Nuns.. Nasty orrible lttle things.......................discuss?
 
They were the best thing in Ken Russell's "The Devils" :naughty:
 
I went to a convent school. The nuns used to throw board rubbers at us if we spoke lol. Another time in assembly, I got caught talking and hauled up to the front and walloped with a long ruler in front of all the junior school. A couple of the nuns were lovely but others were slightly sadistic :lol:
 
My Aunt is a nun. She's lovely. Not a 'horrible little thing at all
 
srichards said:
Nuns - The church's penguins.
Click to expand...

The seven dwarfs were in a Catholic church. They were sitting near the rear
and as the priest was speaking, they whispered and giggled amongst
themselves, causing quite a disturbance.

All of a sudden, Dopey stands up
and says, "Father, are there any midget nuns in the church ?"
"No," said
the priest, "There are no midget nuns in the church.

" A little time passed
and the dwarfs were again whispering and giggling amongst themselves
causing quite a disturbance and noticeably angering the priest.

Soon, Dopey stands up again and asks, "Father, are there any midget nuns in
the city?"

"No, my son, there are no midget nuns in the city or in the church." says
the priest. Again the dwarfs resume their annoying giggling to the dismay
of the priest.

Once again, Dopey stands up and asks "Father, are there any midget nuns in
the state?"

"No, my son, there are no midget nuns in the state, in the city, and no
midget nuns in the church." exclaimed the priest, obviously upset.

The dwarfs continue their interference.

Dopey stands up and asks, "Father, are there any midget nuns in thecountry?"

The priest, totally angered, exclaims "No, my son, there are no midget nuns
in the church, in the city, in the state, no midget nuns in the country,
there are no midget nuns in the whole world!!! Now sit down!!!!!"

Soon afterwards, a chant can be heard from the rear of the church,
"Dopey****ed a penguin.
Dopey ****ed a penguin.
Dopey ****ed a penguin."
 
Cobra said:
The seven dwarfs were in a Catholic church. They were sitting near the rear
and as the priest was speaking, they whispered and giggled amongst
themselves, causing quite a disturbance.

All of a sudden, Dopey stands up
and says, "Father, are there any midget nuns in the church ?"
"No," said
the priest, "There are no midget nuns in the church.

" A little time passed
and the dwarfs were again whispering and giggling amongst themselves
causing quite a disturbance and noticeably angering the priest.

Soon, Dopey stands up again and asks, "Father, are there any midget nuns in
the city?"

"No, my son, there are no midget nuns in the city or in the church." says
the priest. Again the dwarfs resume their annoying giggling to the dismay
of the priest.

Once again, Dopey stands up and asks "Father, are there any midget nuns in
the state?"

"No, my son, there are no midget nuns in the state, in the city, and no
midget nuns in the church." exclaimed the priest, obviously upset.

The dwarfs continue their interference.

Dopey stands up and asks, "Father, are there any midget nuns in thecountry?"

The priest, totally angered, exclaims "No, my son, there are no midget nuns
in the church, in the city, in the state, no midget nuns in the country,
there are no midget nuns in the whole world!!! Now sit down!!!!!"

Soon afterwards, a chant can be heard from the rear of the church,
"Dopey****ed a penguin.
Dopey ****ed a penguin.
Dopey ****ed a penguin."
Click to expand...

Oldie but goldie!
 
kelack said:
I went to a convent school. The nuns used to throw board rubbers at us if we spoke lol. Another time in assembly, I got caught talking and hauled up to the front and walloped with a long ruler in front of all the junior school. A couple of the nuns were lovely but others were slightly sadistic :lol:
Click to expand...

sadistic.. thats the word!

my earliest ever school memories was the nuns... horrible people..its a memory thats stuck with me...if i see them in the street it brings back school memories..

ok maybe not as bad as it sound :) its like they say.. your early school yrs is what shapes you:)
 
How many times do you want to spell "nun" on your phone?


.....so why the hell does predictive text always bring it up before "mum" which is far more used! :bang:


Heather
 
You can kiss a nun once, you can kiss a nun twice, but you can't get into the habit!
(a joke from a teacher at a Catholic school with nuns on the teaching staff)
 
Two nuns in a bath, one says 'Where's the soap?'


The other says 'Yes it does, doesn't it'
 
12 years of catholic school lead me to agree that all nuns...all priests...the lot of them should be used as bait in a revival of gladiatorial lion baiting.
 
Candles out.
 
My first school was mainly run by nuns. Apart from trying to teach me to write right handed I cant recall to many tales of horror.
 
They used to make us kneel on pencils:'(
 
phil8139 said:
Two nuns in a bath, one says 'Where's the soap?'


The other says 'Yes it does, doesn't it'
Click to expand...

In 25 years since I first heard that one, I have never understood it or met anyone who could explain it to me!!
 
keifster said:
In 25 years since I first heard that one, I have never understood it or met anyone who could explain it to me!!
Click to expand...


Just in case you are not kidding......
Its better told than read as "wheres" (Where is)
Can be substituted for wears (as in wears out, depletes etc)

Although it dose work better as
2 nuns in the dark and one says Where's (wears) the candle?
And the other says it certainly does.
 
my father was a nun

whenever he was asked his ocupation , he always put occupation : nun [/baldrick]
 
Mikesphotaes said:
Thought you were dead, somebody said you were gone? :lol:
Click to expand...

Someone obviously did a sloppy job and forgot to drive the stake through
where the heart should be :bang:
You just can't get the staff these days :(
 
A Moose stake is far to dear ;)
 
I knew a nun who used to sleep walk, apparently she was a roaming catholic.
 
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