New highway code announcement

DorsetDude

DorsetDude

Spud
Suspended / Banned
Messages
7,018
Name
Keith
Edit My Images
Yes
If your car breaks down for some reason at a busy junction or on a main road say, make no effort to get out of the car and move it out of the way of the 1000's of motorists behind you. Simply pop on your hazard lights and whip out your smart phone and while away the hours.

Thank you for your attention.
 
Modern cars are a bit heavy to push as they are laden down with side impact bars and airbags and so forth making them less economical. My Imp (700kg) I could manage to move by hand on the flat. The Audi (more than double that), no chance.
 
Ive helped people out in the past that have broken down in similar situations. Helps me to be able to continue my journey quicker, and gives you a feeling of extreme fluffiness at the same time :)
 
onomatopoeia said:
Modern cars are a bit heavy to push as they are laden down with side impact bars and airbags and so forth making them less economical. My Imp (700kg) I could manage to move by hand on the flat. The Audi (more than double that), no chance.
Click to expand...
actually that is quite true.

my golf plus is a complete lump to move without any powered assistance. the brakes hardly work on an incline and the steering is dangerously non existent without the engine running.
 
I couldn't push a car at the moment. (Doctor wouldn't be happy and wife would kill me) Many people for many reasons can't push a car. Is the OP saying if you can't move your car you shouldn't be driving?
What size car does the OP think is the limit to push?

Why didn't the OP offer to help?
 
DorsetDude said:
whip out your smart phone
Click to expand...

And if you don't have one?

EDIT: Oh, I get it. You were being sarcastic!!

Back in 1985 I had a MkII Cortina. Late one night it broke down at a set of traffic lights so I got out, opened the boot and out came my brother and his friend to push it round the corner for me. I can't imagine what the driver of the car behind me was thinking (They decided earlier that they wanted to travel home in the boot - I have no idea why).

Steve.
 
Last edited:
A really smart phone owned by someone else. Will recognise the your need and make the call for you.
 
Nikon_Nick said:
Ive helped people out in the past that have broken down in similar situations. Helps me to be able to continue my journey quicker, and gives you a feeling of extreme fluffiness at the same time :)
Click to expand...

:ROFLMAO:

Sure it wasn't something you ate? :LOL:
 
DorsetDude said:
I may not have thought this moan through fully. :oops: :$
Click to expand...
:D
The analysts will always jump in at some point, you should know that by now. :thumbs:

BTW you do know why they fitted heated rear screens to the early
Skoda's don't you?

Yep thats right, to keep your hands warm while pushing the damned thing :D
 
What do you call a convertible skoda?
A skip.

What do you call a Skoda at the the top of a hill ?
A miracle
 
Swap skoda for FIAT then

FIAT - fix it again tomorrow
 
Alejandro said:
The jokes would be funnier if they were true. :p
Click to expand...
But some of us remember the first models that hit the UK and yes,
every word it true. Trust me I had one :D
 
DorsetDude said:
If your car breaks down for some reason at a busy junction or on a main road say, make no effort to get out of the car and move it out of the way of the 1000's of motorists behind you. Simply pop on your hazard lights and whip out your smart phone and while away the hours.

Thank you for your attention.
Click to expand...

Ah but, ah but ........ Using your smart (or otherwise) phone in that situation actually appears to be an offence since :

It's illegal to use a hand-held mobile when driving on the road even if you've stopped at traffic lights or are stuck in a traffic jam or are in a car park
All these situations are covered by the legal definition of 'driving on the road'.

http://think.direct.gov.uk/mobile-phones.html :exit:
 
Cobra said:
But some of us remember the first models that hit the UK and yes,
every word it true. Trust me I had one :D
Click to expand...
Back in the early 70's when I was even poorer than I am now, I had a very old and beat up Austin Cambridge A60 and a friend had a brand new Skoda.
Anyway, one day we went somewhere in his car. It didn't go, stop or steer, the back end wobbled even in a straight line and it was with a sense of utter relief that I finally got out of it and I drove my old banger home from his house - it was luxury by comparison, and felt really safe:)
 
DorsetDude said:
I may not have thought this moan through fully. :oops: :$
Click to expand...

Perhaps you ought to adopt the attitude of these drivers:

***Before clicking play this is NSFW with repeated swearing!!***

 
I remember my friends DAF with it's 'variomatic' gearbox...

It was a common thing in the seventies and eighties helping people push cars either to get them started or if not, out of the way.

TV repairmen used to be common too, I wonder what happened to them?
 
Last year, when my car was in for servicing, we had a brand new courtesy car. Stopped for a fiver of Diesel and when we restarted it, the gear selector dial didn't rise from the console as it's supposed to. The garage were with us within 5 minutes with a replacement courtesy car so our inconvenience was minimal but it took them a while to shift the car off the filling station's forecourt since it was stuck in P.
 
onomatopoeia said:
Modern cars are a bit heavy to push as they are laden down with side impact bars and airbags and so forth making them less economical. My Imp (700kg) I could manage to move by hand on the flat. The Audi (more than double that), no chance.
Click to expand...
You obviously need Weetabix or Shredded Wheat for breakfast. ;)
 
Nod said:
Last year, when my car was in for servicing, we had a brand new courtesy car. Stopped for a fiver of Diesel and when we restarted it, the gear selector dial didn't rise from the console as it's supposed to. The garage were with us within 5 minutes with a replacement courtesy car so our inconvenience was minimal but it took them a while to shift the car off the filling station's forecourt since it was stuck in P.
Click to expand...
OT - but then this is the OT forum - a few weeks ago our nearly new pedestrian-operated forklift truck broke down. It has an electromagnetic brake, so as well as weighing much more than any car, it was locked solid.
But, we had to move it and ended up with a pallet truck under each end to get the braked wheel off the ground, and then brute force and ignorance from just two of managed to shift it just enough.
 
DorsetDude said:
If your car breaks down for some reason at a busy junction or on a main road say, make no effort to get out of the car and move it out of the way of the 1000's of motorists behind you. Simply pop on your hazard lights and whip out your smart phone and while away the hours.

Thank you for your attention.
Click to expand...

At least the hazards were being used correctly...
 
onomatopoeia said:
Modern cars are a bit heavy to push as they are laden down with side impact bars and airbags and so forth making them less economical. My Imp (700kg) I could manage to move by hand on the flat. The Audi (more than double that), no chance.
Click to expand...

I remember when cars had wheels.. . you could push them...
 
welshwizard645 said:
At least the hazards were being used correctly...
Click to expand...
They were, but when your in one of three queues coming up to a roundabout you cant see that the tw4t at the front of your queue has them on. You just keep thinking 'why are these numpties in front of me changing their lane at the last minute?' and then you suddenly end up behind immoveable object and have to do the same.

(Note to all: I know, if i couldnt have seen far enough ahead to realise there was a car stuck I shouldn't be on the road, save your breath.)
 
DorsetDude said:
They were, but when your in one of three queues coming up to a roundabout you cant see that the tw4t at the front of your queue has them on. You just keep thinking 'why are these numpties in front of me changing their lane at the last minute?' and then you suddenly end up behind immoveable object and have to do the same.
Click to expand...
DorsetDude said:
(Note to all: I know, if i couldnt have seen far enough ahead to realise there was a car stuck I shouldn't be on the road, save your breath.)
Click to expand...
I'm more concerned about the bad Grammar TBH :p
 
Aren't snakes cold-blooded? You should be hibernating.
 
DorsetDude said:
Aren't snakes cold-blooded? You should be hibernating.
Click to expand...
:LOL:

I keep trying, but the grammar police keep banging on my door and waking me up :D
 
DorsetDude said:
You just keep thinking 'why are these numpties in front of me changing their lane at the last minute?' and then you suddenly end up behind immoveable object and have to do the same.
Click to expand...

... because you're as miserable as all the other selfish buggers who didn't stop to help.

I've been in the situation of breaking down at a junction where it was slightly uphill and impossible, if not dangerous, to try pushing the car myself. I was holding up all the poor people behind who were obviously in such a hurry to get home that they couldn't get out and give me a hand, but did have time to give me plenty of dirty looks as they drove round me. Fortunately a work colleague was passing and did give me a helping push.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top