NEED HELP/ADVICE

The clock looks like a very promising idea. You could couple it with using a UV security marker on the money. If the police found the money on the suspect it would be game over.

Someone suggested consulting the police. I think that is wise. This sort of crime is not rare.
 
arclight said:
The clock looks like a very promising idea. You could couple it with using a UV security marker on the money. If the police found the money on the suspect it would be game over.

Someone suggested consulting the police. I think that is wise. This sort of crime is not rare.
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I have to go in to town this coming Wednesday, so I will pop in to our local police station and ask for some advice.
 
j crossley said:
So you have just announced to the entire world that you are going to put a spy camera in your mothers home. You have also announced to the entire world what that spy camera looks like.
It's not too difficult to work out who you are, or indeed who your mother is, as you have included links to your websites in your signature.
You also have no idea whether or not any of your mothers carers read this forum.
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Know one knows what I look like and know one knows what my Mum looks like. As this forum has been fantastic to me in the past I wanted to ask for advice and I got it thank you (y)
 
My MIL used to hide money all over the house - teapots, sugar dishes, under the mattress. She also wrapped things up in tissues - food, to pretend she ws eating, engagement ring, money.
We had to go through her bins to find what she was throwing out by mistake, not very pleasant.
 
My grandfather reported twice he had had £500, monthly pension, stolen by distraction burglary’s of someone going to the front door and another sneaking in the back Door and taking it. When he passed away my parents found two rolls of £500 in a box on top of a wardrobe next to the front door as it someone had rung the doorbell and he had dropped it in there to keep it hidden.
 
Donnie said:
Yeah, I only mean something thats enough to get past the mum, maybe with a message on it in small print that the cashier might see like "I've stolen this thinking its real from the little old lady I care for at 1 unknown name street, please call the police on me" :)
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Funny money would be obvious to spot by feel alone, and the wording would have to be big enough for the cashier to see, which of course would be big enough for the thief to see. Realistically, It probably wouldn't even be taken in the first place.

At this stage we don't actually know where the money is going, and how.

The camera option if the OP can get it up and running will show whether money is being given willingly away, under pressure, or downright stolen.

To the OP - try not to tell your mum what the real purpose of the clock is - as she may be doing things with the money that you didn't expect. Just tell her you've got her a new clock, so that anyone visiting can keep an eye on the time, as they're all very busy people. She might also accidentally mention it to the carers - 'Oh my son, he does fuss, he's gone and put a camera over there to watch me - what do you think about that?'.

I would avoid putting peoples names all over facebook etc if someone is identified. Let the law deal with it. Report it, supply the evidence, let an arrest be made. Don't open yourself up to any personal vendettas.

I was in the security industry for a number of years - and I've seen it before - it's just not worth it.

One final tip - if you do find that someone is taking money, save the evidence, and then let the camera keep rolling, and as much as you don't want to lose money, let it happen again. One incident on camera can be argued 'Oh I only did it once, it was an emergency, I needed to pay my gas bill or my kids would starve' - if you have two incidents on camera on different days it's much easier to persuade a court that it's a repetitive pattern of activity, but that's up to you, You might decide once is enough just to get rid of them.

For someone in a position of trust, such as a carer, theft is taken very seriously.
 
cymruchris said:
Funny money would be obvious to spot by feel alone, and the wording would have to be big enough for the cashier to see, which of course would be big enough for the thief to see. Realistically, It probably wouldn't even be taken in the first place.

At this stage we don't actually know where the money is going, and how.

The camera option if the OP can get it up and running will show whether money is being given willingly away, under pressure, or downright stolen.

To the OP - try not to tell your mum what the real purpose of the clock is - as she may be doing things with the money that you didn't expect. Just tell her you've got her a new clock, so that anyone visiting can keep an eye on the time, as they're all very busy people. She might also accidentally mention it to the carers - 'Oh my son, he does fuss, he's gone and put a camera over there to watch me - what do you think about that?'.

I would avoid putting peoples names all over facebook etc if someone is identified. Let the law deal with it. Report it, supply the evidence, let an arrest be made. Don't open yourself up to any personal vendettas.

I was in the security industry for a number of years - and I've seen it before - it's just not worth it.

One final tip - if you do find that someone is taking money, save the evidence, and then let the camera keep rolling, and as much as you don't want to lose money, let it happen again. One incident on camera can be argued 'Oh I only did it once, it was an emergency, I needed to pay my gas bill or my kids would starve' - if you have two incidents on camera on different days it's much easier to persuade a court that it's a repetitive pattern of activity, but that's up to you, You might decide once is enough just to get rid of them.

For someone in a position of trust, such as a carer, theft is taken very seriously.
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If does show proof of stealing I know what I`d love to do, but I would actually leave it up to the police.
 
Mr Bump said:
she might also be giving it away as gift money, or putting it in the bisket tin or flushing it down the bog.
but front loading her purse then opting out isn't really an excuse, sorry woof.
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I don't understand the opting out comment.

If you've ever dealt with elderly people who may be losing faculties you may begin to understand that changes in their routine or life or more loss of control can be both confusing and upsetting. I wouldn't deny an elderly person a relatively small amount of their own money to keep in their purse (£150 isn't much in the great scheme of things IMO) unless it was absolutely necessary as it could be a comfort blanket for them but this will depend on the severity of their issues.

I do understand that this may not be a case of theft. It could be that the money is being hidden (I deal with hidden/misplaced things regularly) and it could be that it's being given away but if the latter is the case there could well be questions to ask of the carers or whoever is accepting it. If there's an innocent explanation limiting the money in her purse to £10 could be upsetting but if it's a case of theft then there are other options apart from rationing the money to £10 such as involving the employer and/or the police.

The op is in the best position to know how his mother will react to money being rationed to small amounts. If she'll accept £10 rather than £150 without too much upset then fair enough that's a good option but not IMO a fix if the carers are stealing as if there's suddenly no money I'd worry how they'd react. I look after someone with increasing issues pretty much 24/7 and although they do have problems recognising the value of different coins notes are not an issue and they do understand value and worth and wouldn't give it away and I do know they'd react very badly to not being allowed more than for example £10 in their purse as the auntie I mentioned earlier also did.

Good luck with this op.
 
I think the idea of using a spy camera is a good one. Unfortunately vulnerable people are the most likely to be taken advantage off.

This report in our local paper relates to a family friend. No only did she steal the women's food she purposely sat in front of her and teased her with it as she ate it. A really evil person unfortunately. https://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/...om-starving-alzheimers-woman-70-28583969.html

My brother is also a vulnerable person and is currently caught up in the scandal around abuse by members of staff at Muckamore Abbey. As well as physical and mental abuse some of the complaints also relate to theft. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-49498971

After my brother was removed from that place he was moved to another location. A few months ago we discovered that around £300-400 a month was going missing from his money with no explanation, they are supposed to account for everything and keep written records in total there is around £3600 unaccounted for and there is a police investigation.

My wifes grandmother also had carer's a few years ago who would visit her at her home and one was caught red handed on camera collecting her pension from the post office and spending it on items for herself, the same carer also applied for credit cards in her name and ran up a huge amount of debt.
 
This is always a difficult situation, and some elderly people just don't care much when people steal from them. I know of a sheltered housing complex where the live-in warden stole from a number of the residents when she went into their flats for a cup of tea and a chat. She was eventually caught and sent to prison. Despite this, she was apparently very hardworking and caring - unlike any of her replacements - and nearly all of the residents were very sympathetic towards her, especially when they found out how little she earned, and would like her back, warts and all.

I appreciate that the OP needs to find out what's happening, and a hidden camera, with any evidence passed to the police, is probably the only proper way of addressing the problem.
 
Just something to consider in terms of a longterm option - even though your mum doesn't/won't use it - you might want to get the cheapest broadband package installed, and then maybe add a couple of cameras of a permanent visible nature around the ground floor of the house. This would allow you 24/7 visibility of anyone that comes and goes, and would allow you to check in on her wellbeing at any time. I've done the same for my dad's house - a camera at the back door/front door/lounge/kitchen and conservatory - nothing upstairs. The cameras also provide audio recordings. I can get alerts when people have visited the house, and can be sure nothing untoward is going on. He knows the cameras are there, and they are to support him rather than to watch his every move. He feels a bit safer knowing that we can just make sure he's ok at any time. I fitted them myself, and they're quite discrete. Just a thought for you to keep in mind - which would also deter any future problems from potentially appearing.
 
Over night I was thinking about it and talked to some family friends, I have sacked the carers and got another lot to come in and help Mum. I was over today and she had a good day but hurts me to hell to see her like this and all the money was in her purse that I put in but still stumped on the 70 quid that went. A family friend off 20 odd years is getting some hidden cameras put in and will be helping us out as well.
 
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