Men !$*!!!

Madpup

Madpup

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Shamelessy stolen from another forum.

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She! asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded,
"3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."





"1. Men are like ........Laxatives ...... They irritate the **** out of you.

2. Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.


3. Men are like ........ Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them..

4. Men are like ........ Blenders ..... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like ....... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like ....... Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like ........ Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like ........ Government Bonds ..... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like ....... Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like ....... Popcorn . ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like . Snowstorms ............. You never know when they're coming,
how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like ........ Lava Lamps ..... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like ........ Parking Spots . All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
 
LOL:thumb:
 
He! He! I do enjoys these ... so heres a few extra ....



1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to
put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that
you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to
make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the
do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he
is too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years.
Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.


13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes,
it means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal.:smilenod:
 
I couldnt possibly comment on all the others, but can strangely relate to #12;)
 
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