Mates rates...lol

rgrebby

rgrebby

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Richard
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I get asked this all the time when doing weddings and so on. Im sure like a lot of people on here they sometimes do a deal, sometimes dont dependant on who they are, if they ask or how they ask.

I was asked last year to do someones wedding, someone I knew about 4 years ago in the pub I worked at, they asked for mates rates and back then I did them a bit of a deal. They never signed and paid a booking fee so 6 months later the dialogue came up again over email and they asked me to send over the price again. I did, this time it was higher has my prices have gone up through experience. I still knocked a little off.

After a lot of umming and confusion (they couldnt understand why the price wasnt the same) they declined and said they didnt have enough but they were sorry.

Well on saturday was their wedding, as a 'friend' I thought would have got an invite, did I get and invite? Nope, not that I really care too much I just think its kinda funny that people can ask for mates rates and not even consider you enough of a friend to actually invite you.

Anyone else had this happen?
 
That's because you're not your mate's mate, just his mate's rates mate, mate!

But I am afraid it's typical of too many folk now.
 
I think it all boils down to who you would call a mate.
I have many "mates" but very few friends, so there is the distinction, mates rates for "friends" naff all for "mates", hope that makes sence it did in my head lol.
spike

oh by the way OP looks like you where just a "mate" and not a "friend" so I would loose no sleep over it but learn from it.

spike
 
just move along to the next customer.

no water off your back
 
Consider yourself lucky not to have gotten an invite or you'd have been out of pocket getting your "mate" a wedding present :D
 
I dont do mates rates - if they are a good mate then I dont charge them at all , if they are a casual aquaintance, freind of a freind, bloke i met in the pub once, someone i was at school with and didnt like at the time, or whatever then they can pay up like everyone else.
 
I hate that, get asked at least a couple of times a year if I could do someone I know in passing (pub/friend of friend etc) if I could do them mates rates for a wedding... Tell them that I dont shoot weddings which they are generally fine with but then dont get an invite... Clearly not a mate then!

Sam
 
ah im not annoyed at all, I have more issues that im ****ed about (see business section) I just thought it was pretty funny. And i'd love to tell them exactly what I think...
 
big soft moose said:
I dont do mates rates - if they are a good mate then I dont charge them at all , if they are a casual aquaintance, freind of a freind, bloke i met in the pub once, someone i was at school with and didnt like at the time, or whatever then they can pay up like everyone else.
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:thumbs:

Except my friends are spelt properoly................;)
 
Some great work on your site Richard.

as for mate rates, I get it all of the time as a Designer, from old freinds mainly through facebook,wanting flyers/websites etc. It's annoying.
 
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Someone on here wisely said;

"Mates are people that expect to pay full price, and you offer them a discount because they're your friends"

I've paraphrased a bit, but that was the jist of it - I can't remember who said it, but it stuck in my mind obviously, as it was a while ago!
 
Don't bother with "mates" any more, they just take the ****. Stick to clients or birds and animals, and you won't go far wrong. Clients you can argue with and walk away, animals don't give a toss, they either turn up or don't, fly away or stay still - unlike "mates" you know where you stand.
 
big soft moose said:
bloody I before E except after c catches me out every time
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Aye, it is a right pee`er isn`t it......:lol:

Do agree very much with your initial statement though.......:thumbs:
 
Friends visit you in the lockup. Mates say "How are we going to get bail?"
 
come on Richard... admit it... you'd have like an invite because you were dying to see who they got to do the job weren't you :suspect:

i know i would have been :D
 
Neighbours are the same, just because im a photographer and was taking photo's of my step son outside in his prom gear and then again at the school when he got out the car and with his mates etc all the neighbours and other parents at the school wanted photos taken of there kids, Put them up on my site for them to buy and nothing, not one person bought one lol Found out yesterday they were annoyed because i wanted to charge them for the prints lol they expecting me to pay for them to be printed aswell? lmao it's a fiver no other photographer was at the prom so they have no pictures of there kid/s at there prom
 
Whenever i've helped friends out I never charge them anything. Because I know when its me that needs the help they'll do the same for me.

I must admit i've been too soft in the past and helped people out and got FA in return!
 
DannyDMR said:
Neighbours are the same, just because im a photographer and was taking photo's of my step son outside in his prom gear and then again at the school when he got out the car and with his mates etc all the neighbours and other parents at the school wanted photos taken of there kids, Put them up on my site for them to buy and nothing, not one person bought one lol Found out yesterday they were annoyed because i wanted to charge them for the prints lol they expecting me to pay for them to be printed aswell? lmao it's a fiver no other photographer was at the prom so they have no pictures of there kid/s at there prom
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Most probably expect the digital images for free, not prints :D



RE: The original topic though, I'm really not surprised! Everyone wants a discount. Annoying mind.
 
I did my best mate's wedding last month as one of the 2 best men. I chose photography instead of speech. No charge. Just lifetime supply of beer, I suspect :) He would have been better off paying me the £2k, he he. Other than that, I don't do mate's rate. If anything, I'd charge my normal fee, but throw in a little extra as a token. Works for me.
 
I did a job for a good mate from 3 doors away. Agreed everything, and I did "mate's rates". Everything was set down in writing. I did everything that we agreed and that he asked for. Then he started sending me recorded delivery letters (Yes, from 3 doors away) wanting a price reduction because I hadn't done what he wanted. He accepted I'd done what was asked for, but he thought I'd do a lot more for free "because I'm a mate".

We no longer speak, and I now will never do any work for a mate if there's money involved. If it's simple I'll do it for free "For a mate". If it's more than simple I won't touch it.
 
I did my first three weddings at mates rates (costs) mainly for the experience. Three years later the wife of one of those mates has just made up all of the curtains for our extension (at cost because that's how I did their wedding), another of my mates has just done my website (for cost); the third is no longer with his wife and has just married my brother's ex-wife but that's a whole other post!

I guess it goes to show that what goes around can, sometimes, come around!

I don't do mates rates any more as all of my mates are now married.
 
It seems some here are getting a£&?y because they were asked for discount. I don't really see why - if they were friends or mates then I would have thought it reasonable to give it - asked or not. If you are so busy you are loosing money you would otherwise be earning; then you can decide if you'd be prepared to stomach it - whether they are indeed 'mates'. You may not ever offer any discounts - fair enough, - your choice. Surely though, no one commits any tort asking. Unlike the implications of 'discount for cash' & the inferences you may draw from that statement. It reminds me of the 'you can ask for credit as long as refusal doesn't offend'
 
Is it really any different to trying your luck asking for a discount in a retail shop, or haggling in the Classifieds?
 
I don't think it's the asking from friends or mates - it's the asking for "mates rates" from people you've met twice or knew years ago, who have only bothered when they want something.

Discounts, personally I'd always build leeway into prices for a discount or freebie. With everyone being told you should haggle, it's probably the easiest way.
 
Stratman said:
Is it really any different to trying your luck asking for a discount in a retail shop, or haggling in the Classifieds?
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difference is the implied emotional blackmail because you ought to 'giz us some money off 'cause i'm your mate innit'

as i said higher up with propper mates it never arrises because i'm happy to do stuff for them for free (and they likewise do for me in return - one of my mates is an accountant which is a bit handy, another is an IT tech, one is good with cars etc - and well all do stuff for each other with no money changing hands) Propper mates also know where the limits of a freindship lie - so I'd not ask steve (the accountant) to do my tax return for free, and he'd not ask me to cover a wedding - but if he wants a few snaps of his car to stick in autotrader, or I want a quick bit of advice about a question of tax law then thats all cushty

everyone else - the answer to 'can i get mates rates' is essentially 'no 'cause you aint my ****ing mate and dont ask for credit because a punch in the nose often offends'
 
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Big Soft Moose has the right answer:-

Propper mates also know where the limits of a freindship lie - so I'd not ask steve (the accountant) to do my tax return for free, and he'd not ask me to cover a wedding - but if he wants a few snaps of his car to stick in autotrader, or I want a quick bit of advice about a question of tax law then thats all cushty
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