Makes you think...

big soft moose

big soft moose

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I recently had some sad news that my freind kimmo who's been under going treatment for lymphoblastic leukemia , has been told that the treatment has failed , and that his last chance has gone... he's been told that if he's lucky he's got 6 weeks and the last couple could be grim. So basically he's now spending his last month or so at home with his family. He's only 35

He sent an email out to us all to say goodbye (because we can't go visit him as hes basically got no immune system) and asked us all to remember him with a smile and think of the happy times, I reacted to this by sitting in my office for 30 minutes crying like a baby.

It makes you think though , he was so fit it was a amazing less than a year ago he was running and cycling and swimming , probably one of the fitest most energetic people i knew, always eat healthily , didnt drink to excess , didnt smoke. If this can happen to him it can happen to any of us. Never mind ebola or any of that b*****ks , life is so fragile and any of us could die at any moment.

It also makes me think whats the point of a lot of the trivial s*** we go through ? - all the petty arguments about this being better than that , all the time wasted arguing about couldnt matter a toss anyway stuff... if we only had a month would we waste it on that , I think not.

So anyway i'm not saying that this is going to be a sea change in my personality or anything - i've always had the potential to be a weapons grade bell end on occasion and i doubt anything's going to change that, but I am going to try and take something positive from the loss of my freind, and thats to put the important things first and the trivial s*** second.

as kimmo once told me before he got sick , live every day like it's your last and dance like no one is watching , because they aren't , they are all at the bar chatting up women. :LOL:
 
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I feel your pain - Leukaemia is a very nasty thing . I lived with it for 16 months till my husband could no longer fight it . He was also a very very fit man.

Even now 6 years on I'm still angry , but I've learned that sometimes talking with folk going through it helps both parties
 
hey , thanks for commenting , and i'm sorry to hear that - one of the things that was a royal bitch with kimmo is that he had a bone marrow transplant and we thought he was getting better and then he was rediagnosed with a different sort and it all went down hill from there...

another freind of mine, simon has got a little boy with type 1 diabetes who consequently has auto immune arthritis, he's only four but has to walk with a stick and regularly have corrosive fluid drained off his knees, and can't run and play and do all the things kids are supposed to be able to do, life is just s*** sometimes, but he's a brave little guy and just gets on with his life with remarkable cheerfulness thats an inspiration to us all...
 
Now will be good time to chop some lots for this winters fire mate, I dare say you'd build up quite a pile and relieve a little anger with the axe...life is too short, it's also not fair either otherwise good people would not be taken like this :(
 
MWHCVT said:
Now will be good time to chop some lots for this winters fire mate, I dare say you'd build up quite a pile and relieve a little anger with the axe...life is too short, it's also not fair either otherwise good people would not be taken like this :(
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to be honest i'm not angry - if kimmo can take it on the chin and continue to be an inspiration to us all when he's only got a few weeks to live then i don't have the right to be angry and let it get to me.

I'm sad about the news naturally but he said he wanted us to remember the happy times , and to remember him with a smile not a tear... so the least i can do is try to live up to that - I just hope I have the courage to look death in the eye like that and keep smiling when the time comes.
 
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.

When my dad died, we were sorting out his stuff and I found a small book tucked away in his bedside cabinet. It's called "Don't sweat the small stuff .... (and it's all small stuff)". I still have it and keep it as a reminder that we spend too much of our lives worrying about inconsequential €$*^ when we ought to be appreciating the things that really matter.

Life is, indeed, too short.
 
big soft moose said:
to be honest i'm not angry - if kimmo can take it on the chin and continue to be an inspiration to us all when he's only got a few weeks to live then i don't have the right to be angry and let it get to me.

I'm sad about the news naturally but he said he wanted us to remember the happy times , and to remember him with a smile not a tear... so the least i can do is try to live up to that - I just hope I have the courage to look death in the eye like that and keep smiling when the time comes.
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Likewise I have similar hopes buddy, though hopefully not for a damn long time ... Glad your not angry, I think I would be :( well at least try and make time to be away from that desk of yours as much as you can :)
 
time off ... yeah i vaguely remember what that is...

mind you another kimmo-ism (again from well before he got sick) " no one has ever said on their death bed , 'i wish i'd spent more time at work' "

(oh and yes a part of me would love to be f*****g furious and take it out on everyone and thing arround me, but that isnt what the man himself want, and if don't respect his wishes, what does that make me)
 
big soft moose said:
time off ... yeah i vaguely remember what that is...

mind you another kimmo-ism (again from well before he got sick) " no one has ever said on their death bed , 'i wish i'd spent more time at work' "

(oh and yes a part of me would love to be f*****g furious and take it out on everyone and thing arround me, but that isnt what the man himself want, and if don't respect his wishes, what does that make me)
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Ain`t no point being angry Pete, plenty of people have lost mates, family and other people that they care for.

From a personal point of view, being in that camp more often than I want to be, time does heal, but you never forget, you always remember the good times,sometimes the bad times. But I always reckon that the person would not want you mythering for the rest of your life.

I hope that does not sound harsh Pete, I don`t mean it to.

Ps... any bloke who says they have never cried after losing a mate is a liar or they have never had true mates. Ain`t no shame in it.
 
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That's a real b****r Pete and I'm sorry that you are going through this right now:(

I do understand I went through something similar,
about a month ago, the guy was 10 years younger than me,
its a bit of a wake up call!

I choose to, and he would want me to, remember the laughs and positives, rather than the last few months.
I'm glad you are doing the same, it'll hurt like hell for awhile, no getting away from that, but through the tears are the laughs and the jokes "that was that person".

Chin up :)
 
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In some respect it's almost good that you cannot see/visit him to say goodbye...and I know that's sounds really bloody odd/harsh...but honestly I saw mum about an hour or two before she passed away, and it was horrible, to this day 2.5 years later I still cannot get that image out of my head, it was no longer my mum and still the thought of her in the state she was at that point will reduce me to tears at quite moments occasionally :(
 
MWHCVT said:
In some respect it's almost good that you cannot see/visit him to say goodbye...and I know that's sounds really bloody odd/harsh...but honestly I saw mum about an hour or two before she passed away, and it was horrible, to this day 2.5 years later I still cannot get that image out of my head, it was no longer my mum and still the thought of her in the state she was at that point will reduce me to tears at quite moments occasionally :(
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Quite. Had a similar thing with nan almost 2 years ago. She went downhill rather unexpectedly with what we believe was related to historic Cancer (long story).
 
MWHCVT said:
In some respect it's almost good that you cannot see/visit him to say goodbye...and I know that's sounds really bloody odd/harsh...but honestly I saw mum about an hour or two before she passed away, and it was horrible, to this day 2.5 years later I still cannot get that image out of my head, it was no longer my mum and still the thought of her in the state she was at that point will reduce me to tears at quite moments occasionally :(
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Sorry to hear you lost your mum. Two or three years is nothing, and the pain will still be hard for a long time. Many people "like" to see their loved ones before they die, as they get a chance to say good bye. So don't like to. x
 
Sorry to hear that Pete :hug:

A work friend / colleague lost her 10 year battle with cancer last month . . . only 43 and left two kids behind.
I don't know whether it's worse knowing that it's coming or having the shock of it being unexpected, but a bloody horrible time either way.
 
So sorry to hear about your friend, Pete. Thirty-five is so young, and it is so unfair.

My dad died 16 years ago. He was my Superman. He was very fit, held British records for his weight-lifting (never used steroids), gymnast in his youth, ate healthily, never drank, never smoked. He was like a ox. He died of cancer, aged 59. He was a kind, caring man. It was horrible to watch my fit, strong dad turn into a shell of his former self.

A friend of mine died as just 32. He was a fit and healthy rugby player and from diagnosis to death, it was just 3 months. His son was only 6 months old. How his partner, and mother of his baby coped, I do not know.


We must remember, that most people survive cancer. A friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer at 29. She is alive and well, and cancer-free. She beat cancer. There are breakthrough's coming through, and new treatments becoming available.
 
My friend kimmo died this morning, rest in peace dude i'll miss you ...
 
Oh man...sorry to hear that Pete. I know it wasnt unexpected, but still sucks nonetheless.
 
big soft moose said:
My friend kimmo died this morning, rest in peace dude i'll miss you ...
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Crap news to get even if expected/known, will drop you a message later buddy
 
Sad , very very sad.

What can I say - just remember the good times
 
It still comes as a shock, even when it's been expected for a while. Look back on the happy times and try to forget the crap over the past year or so. Another big positive is that he's no longer in pain or even discomfort.
 
Sorry to hear that dude.
I had the similar thing is year, a mate died out of the blue from a major clot in his heart - leaving no money or anything behind as well as a 6 month old baby. It then transpired that his other half was also doing the dirty, as soon as he passed away she sold all his IT equipment including his personal stuff, photos etc so his friends and family were left with nothing to remember him by :(
He was als only 29, quite fit etc :(
 
I'm very sorry to hear this Pete.

There isn't anything anyone can say here that will make the loss any easier to bear so I will not even try.

I'm sure that your mate would want you to keep on being the same guy you are now.

Regards
 
This kind of thing certainly does make you think about a lot of things & how they are genuinely insignificant in comparison to serious illness.

I do agree with MWHCVT when he said it may be a blessing that your friend has requested you not visit. My mum passed away in June after being diagnosed with a brain tumour in Nov 2013. Again a fit healthy person that certainly put me to shame in lifestyle/health. It was terrible seeing her rapid deterioration over that period. I couldn't not be with her at the end, it simply wasn't an option for me as I had to be there for her. It wasn't frightening just incredibly sad. I know she wouldn't want me to remember her like that so I try not to.

I'm lucky to have a wonderful supportive wife & the last year would have been far more difficult without her, but my brother, nan & stepdad still concern me at times.

I think as well as the person that is ill it's important to support the people that are closest to them.

Very sorry to hear about your friend.

Cheers T
 
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