Lufbrarunner
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- Messages
- 2,549
- Name
- Steve
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AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
>
>
>1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
>boiling water down your
>throat and, presto, the blockage will be removed.
>
>2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
>someone else to hold
>them while you chop away.
>
>3. Avoid arguments with your wife about lifting the toilet seat by simply
>using the sink.
>
>4. For high-blood-pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
>few minutes,
>thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
>
>5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
>rolling over and going
>back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
>
>6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will
>be afraid to cough.
>
>7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
>forget all about the toothache.
>
>8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
>You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and
>should, use the WD-40; if it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
>
>9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. So be
>brief with people.
>
>10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
>
>Thoughts for the day:
>
>
>
>If you woke up breathing... Congratulations! You get another chance.
>
>Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might
>need them to empty your bedpan.
>
>Some people are like "slinkies" . . . they're not really good for
>anything; but when you push them down a flight of stairs, they can bring
>a smile to your face.
>
>
>1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
>boiling water down your
>throat and, presto, the blockage will be removed.
>
>2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
>someone else to hold
>them while you chop away.
>
>3. Avoid arguments with your wife about lifting the toilet seat by simply
>using the sink.
>
>4. For high-blood-pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
>few minutes,
>thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
>
>5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
>rolling over and going
>back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
>
>6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will
>be afraid to cough.
>
>7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
>forget all about the toothache.
>
>8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
>You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and
>should, use the WD-40; if it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
>
>9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. So be
>brief with people.
>
>10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
>
>Thoughts for the day:
>
>
>
>If you woke up breathing... Congratulations! You get another chance.
>
>Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might
>need them to empty your bedpan.
>
>Some people are like "slinkies" . . . they're not really good for
>anything; but when you push them down a flight of stairs, they can bring
>a smile to your face.
