Lets stop messing about and discuss something important

Nothing hurts as much as when you go to pedal off on a pushbike and one foot slips off the pedals while the other one comes around with the full force of your body weight and slams into your shin!

Other than that i reckon child birth is more painful and it lasts longer!
 
While we are on the subject of incredible pain in the nether regions. This true story from the Darwin Awards has remained imprinted on my mind ever since I first read it.

WARNING - Read with care.

If you are a man this "will" make you cry and if you are a woman it will make you cry too, but probably with laughter.



One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other then to say that he "needed a doctor who took care of men's troubles." The patient, about 40, was pale, febrile, and obviously uncomfortable, and had little to say as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of angry red and black-and-blue scrotal skin.

After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted me to remove his trousers, shorts, and two or three yards of foul-smelling, stained gauze wrapped about his scrotum, which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit and extremely tender. A jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing pus and blood, extended down the left scrotum.

Amid the matted hair, edematous skin, and various exudates, I saw some half-buried dark linear objects and asked the patient what they were. Several days earlier, he replied, he had injured himself in the machine shop where he worked, and had closed the laceration himself with a heavy-duty stapling gun. The dark objects were one-inch staples of the type used in putting up wallboard.

We x-rayed the patients scrotum to locate the staples; admitting him to the hospital; and gave him tetanus antitoxin, a broad-spectrum antibacterial therapy, and hexachlorophene sitz baths prior to surgery the next morning.

The procedure consisted of exploration and debridement of the left side of the scrotal pouch. Eight rusty staples were retrieved, and the skin edges were trimmed and freshened. The left testis had been avulsed and was missing. The stump of the spermatic cord was recovered at the inguinal canal, debrided, and the vessels ligated properly, though not much of a hematoma was present. Through-and through Penrose drains were sutured loosely in site, and the skin was loosely closed.

Convalescence was uneventful, and before his release from the hospital less then a week later, the patient confided the rest of his story to me.

An unmarried loner, he usually didn't leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his co-workers. Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice of masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-based piece of running machinery. One day, as he approached orgasm, he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt. When his scrotum suddenly became caught between the pulley-wheel and the drive-belt, he was thrown into the air and landed a few feet away. Unaware that he had lost his left testis, and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he stapled the wound closed and resumed work.

I can only assume he abandoned this method of self-gratification.

By Dr. William A. Morton, Jr. MD, a retired urologist residing in West Chester, Pennsylvania.
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OutLore said:
Apparently passing a kidney stone can be worse than childbirth though...:gag:
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Been there done that. The pain usually affects both kidneys and your bladder so basically everytime you move forwards, backwards or sideways, it's like someone has stabbed you. Only severe painkillers make a difference.

The worse thing is when it gets stuck and infected at the base of the kidney. They can't use the waves to smash to stone into bits, letting it pass through normally. They have to pop in with a camera to check all is okay. Guess which way the fibre optic camera goes :eek::eek::eek:

Its all done under general anaesthetic but the first time you go for a leak after, the pain is unbearable due to the 'localised trauma' :shake: I was standing on my tip toes at the loo with my fingers dug into the tiles on the wall in absolute agony. Pure claret coming out as I'm trying to go for the 1st time since surgery. :eek:

Never again.
 
theMusicMan said:
I am sure childbirth is worse... but... just for a laff, and as I have had a bottle of wine... here's a story about the other part of this thread.

As a young teenager, it just so happened to be my turn to be 'picked on' by my so called 'mates', and yes, they proceeded to grab me, hold my arms back, held me legs aspread, and one of 'em kneed me right in the shenangins - just for a laff, yeah right.

I went down like a sack of the proverbial manure... and these were so called 'mates'. Some mates eh!

Then, 26 years of painful discomfort and 2 kids later, I thought I should go and see a Doc about the regular pain/lumps/swelling etc. After a visit to a consultant and then a scan, it was revealed I had some severely damaged tissue in that area, that quite simply... needed to be removed.

An op ensued... very painful I can assure you. They didn't go in 'down below', oh no sir, they most certainly went in though - check this - through the abdomen... and here's the painful bit... the bits 'down below' still came out... yes you got it... they saw fresh air indeed but through may darned abdomen!!! Can you imagine that!

Well, I had hoped that that was that... sadly, alas not!

I now find myself facing yet another operation, next Monday 9th, where after removing some of my bits 5 years ago, they will now finally remove one side of my bits entirely...:thumbsdown:

And all this stemming from a kick in the nether regions I suffered as a kid.

There's times when I wish I was a woman!

Wish me luck.

/panic rant over
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well you will be half way there after next monday:lol:
 
a mate sent me an email a few years back containing photos of people who had a fetish for doing unspeakable things to their privates.
one guy had a jubilee clip round his penis tightened right up and another showed someones scrotum on a block of wood with nails hammered through it.
:cuckoo:
 
Mike Hoyer said:
How big a potato?
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Not sure if anyone here has had kidney stones. Now, I have never given birth, nor peed a potato. I have peed out a broken up kidney stone - bits the size of sand. I have been kicked properly in the nuts and trust me, I'd queue up for the size 9 in preference of the sand. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me, both in anticipation (you delay until a second before you burst) and then with the event.

Have a nice evening.

Chris
 
Woman has a child, it hurts, 2 years later says 'lets have another little baby'.
Man gets kicked in happy sacks, never, ever, ever asks for someone to kick him there again.
Ergo kicking in family jewels hurts more, simple.

Andy
 
KayJay said:
When I was in primary school my primary 7 class would play the best 11 from the other P7 class at lunchtimes, every day, and every match drew blood. I remember one day I tried to clear a cross with a looping header and ended up scoring an own goal. My best friend, one of our strikers, ran from the edge of their box to ours soley for the purpose of kicking me in the balls as hard as possible. One of the most painful things I've ever experienced. I almost vomited and had this horrid feeling up my spine for a week.
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Do you still speak to him?

That had me cringing :gag:
 
PMSL.

I once attended Casualty dept, where a geezer had a large Philips screwdriver jammed in his Khyber Pass. It was very embarrassing because it was a solicitor I knew, although I suppose it was more embarrassing for him. :D

He said he sat on it by accident. :shrug:

Shoulda used one of them Yankee spiral ratchet jobs.
 
I was lucky enough not to experience childbirth but I've heard that when a woman 'tears' it's a truly horrific experience (and causes lots of problems in the future)

I had a C Section, which was really painful afterwards because I had a bit of a chest infection and felt that my insides were going to burst out everytime I coughed !
 
It has to be a kick to the testicles. How can you believe anything said by a human that can bleed for nearly a week every month and survive.;)
 
A friend i ride with had a nasty stack a couple of years back. He landed with his Crown Jewels on his stem, the bit that holds the bar to the forks so you can steer. He rolled on the floor for a while and thought he was all okay, until he stood up and we realised there was a rapidly growing patch of blood on his jeans. When we pointed this out, he went white and passed out. It turns out he had basically slit his Scrotum open about 2 inches and, what is termed, De-Gloved himself, whereby i mean, the little jewels were no longer under their protection, they were floating around in his boxer shorts.:eek::eek: He got rushed to hospital, and had to have immediate surgery, i think in total it took about 6 months for him to heal properly, and he still says he has twinges of random pain for no reason:shake:
 
ive been kicked int' nads on several occasions :eek:when i did martial arts.
at other times (non martial arts).broken several bones:'(, dislocated my wrist:|, torn ligaments , broken my nose:help:, and torn a lump out of my ear.
for a very short period of time, i'd say nads were the worst.
overall ,long term, definitely broken bones.
specialy fingers.:thumbs:
as for childbirth.
ive had three kids, never felt a thing.
well, a mild crush injury to the fingers, and severe earache, but nowt serious.:lol:
 
I had kidney stones on three occassions and my consultant told me she has had 2 kids and kidney stones. The child birth was a breeze in comparison she told me.
 
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