Just Had Some Bad News.

snoop69

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Just had some bad news from an old school mate that I havent seen since
school. We met up again via Facebook.

We were talking about old school friends & he mentioned that a girl I used to
knock about with was murdered in Scotland.

Anyone else had this kind of experience & how did you feel?

I hadnt seen her for years but I feel real lousy now.

I wasnt emotionally attached or anything like that but ive also never had
someone I knew murdered.
 
A guy I was friends with at primary school, but hadn't seen for about 12 years was killed in a car crash a couple of years ago. Even though I hadn't seen him for years, I felt quite sad and kind of weird for a few days. Not exactly the same experience but as close as I can get.
 
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Even if you were not close any more its a shock to hear that they have died an early and violent death.

I havent lost anyone close to murder but I have had a couple of difficult bereavements. Its probably good to talk about what happened with your friends and family. It sort of helps to get to terms with it and lessen the shock.

If you need to talk to someone you can PM me.

Sue
 
happening more and more near me, a guy i knew from the pub got beat to death a few month ago, and more recently, a soldier blown up in afghanistan!

although to be honest, what concerns me more, is people i knew from school, updating facebook with their kids adventures!!! im only 23!!!!!
 
I used to live in Hong Kong.
Two of my fellow expats were murdered at a local beauty spot on the Island.
They were a well liked and popular couple.
They were abducted, suffered in excess of 600 blows to their bodies before being raped and murdered.
Five individuals were found guilty and convicted of their killings.
I was talking recently about it with a friend who was out in Hong Kong with me at the time.
We both agreed that prison was too good for them.
Powerful stuff that still fills me with emotion, even today.

In August of this year a close colleague of mine broke his neck on a motorcycle track day at Brand Hatch, his life support machine was turned off the following morning. I was gutted, not for myself but for his wife and his family. He was a great guy, a pleasure to work with and into the same sort of stuff as me, motorcycles and mountain bikes.

I was looking at his picture on something today and I recalled what a good guy he was, how we worked and joked hard together.

Things like this make you appreciate what you have, family, friends and health.
 
My Best friend was killed in a car accident this year when he was on holiday. The person was drunk and didn't even stop.

Whether you are close or not, people you know dying reminds you that you are not immortal and makes you realise that at some point you too will die. Just hearing about death on the TV or Radio, you think that it won't happen to me, but that closeness brings home the fragility of life. Especially when you are young.

Also unfortunately the older you get the more common it becomes, but when it is a school friend you will always remember them as such as it seems so much more harsh when they die young.

Roo
 
At a race meet couple of years ago, snapping for a local rag and the team I was having a long chat over breakfast, getting to know one of the riders. The next meeting (abroad) he was killed in an accident, found it hard to get motivated to even attend the next round let alone take pictures. Hit me quite hard about how this young man's life had so much more living to do. I have a young family and you always think as a parent you should not have to bury your children. But as his dad said, he was killed doing something that he loved doing, had the talent for and would of done even without his family's support, after all, you want your kids to be happy and be there for them, highs and lows.
Shaun
 
I had a friend when I used to go hang gliding. He was also a pleasure to be around. Intelligent, funny and a really nice guy. The I had a phone call to say he had taken his own life, I still don't know why. I am not a religous person but the funeral was so sad....
In his will he had asked for his ashes to be scattered over the flying field where we winched, I was on the winch and two other friends took his ashes up, as they released them a large crow flew across their flight path, I think it was his spirit flying with us for the last time.
His parents [he was only 25 or so] came to the field later and brought champagne and fireworks and we all got ****ed.
He was obviously deeply unhappy yet we didn't spot it, I still wish we could have helped him.

Dunc
 
Over 6 years ago I found out that one of my childhood friends had taken an overdose and died.

I've suffered from a lot of guilt over the years, and every single time I used to see a couple of films that reminded me of him I would sit there with tears streaming down my face. How I'd let a friend die and had done nothing to help him in his time of need.

I finally got around to hunting his younger brother down on facebook the other week. Said how sorry I was about his brother. What I heard next nearly killed me with shock.

It turns out that it was a rumour that was started about him, and other than being a little too fond of the drink and having a bad accident on a motorbike that broke his spine in 3 places he is in perfect health. He has recovered from his accident and is now a tree surgeon and living about 1/2 a mile from where I was brought up.

I am yet to meet up with him, it's going to be weird. Moral is, never believe anything you hear from a 3rd party without checking it out yourself!!

within 4 years of leaving secondary school I had lost several friends. A young girl with a baby girl was killed by her boyfriends driving, a lad who killed him self on the day of his alevel results. His older brother had hung himself in the school grounds, but this lad had just got back from holiday and was expecting all A*. I lost 2 friends in car accidents. It was a bad few years. Add that to the years and years of emotional blackmail, girlfriend beating and numerous suicide attempts I've had to deal with from my dad it's no wonder I have issues of my own :(
 
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I used to frequent a forum (about 5 years ago - I was 14), and as is this community, I got close* to a few of the members there, chatting on MSN, playing some Xbox on Xbox Live, meeting up** in Guild Wars for some quests, you know, nerdy stuff you don't tell anyone about because they'd be like, "You're a nerd"

Anyway. One day one of the members there posted a thread. He was close to another member there and basically told everyone that this member had been hit by a drunk driver on the way home and killed.
Everyone was gutted, I was quite upset by it. It was a strange feeling - I felt really sad and hollow about the death of someone I'd spoken to only via text and who I'd never met and who lived in a different country.

Anyway, turns out it was a prank, he didn't really die and they thought it would be funny.
I left the forum after that.

*As close as you can get to someone online haha.
**Once again, term used lightly :p
 
After we completed our GCSE's the school laid on 2 days of this 'enterprise' thing. So the year group was split up into teams of 6 and we had to design and build a product + come up with a brand and advertising scheme, I guess like "the apprentice" but in a school hall.

I was teamed up with 4 mates, and a girl was put on our team. She got picked on by a few people in our year (including a few of my mates) for various things but for this challenge we put our differences aside and got on with it.

We built this product (an "executive desk toy" snooker table) and then me and her were put forward to present this thing to about 300 people in our year group + the local press.

We ended up winning, thanks to her for giving me the confidence to stand up in front of all them people and present this thing.

About 2 weeks later she died of a severe asthma attack. At first I thought my mates were joking but I found out it was true and it left me numb to get to know someone like that and then they 'go'.

James
 
Here is a link to the story I recently found out about.

Moira Jones.
 
Sorry to hear about your sad news. It does hurt. I've been unlucky enough to have lost a good friend in a motorcyle accident. An uncle to suicide and two friends to suicide. They all hit me very hard and then I lost my father 4 years ago and my brother 3 years ago.
I'm 48 now and thats all I seem to hear about. Each one has just made me think more about my future and family and makes me appreciate every day. I try to be honest and fair to others and live life.
The only advice I can give you is to remember her for your own reasons. Try not to ponder too much on what happened and learn from it by staying close to those that you should. Enjoy life. We are here for a very short time in the real scheme of things.
I never leave the house without telling my family that I love them. That includes a 17yr old lad. And yes he still tells me he loves me! :love: :lol:
You take care. ;)

Kev.
 
On a forum I'm a regular on (And a moderator). A huge forum. Another regular member who I spoke to a lot got shot. Thing was he was a drug dealer, while doing law at university, and got shot when he was doing a deal, so I didn't feel anything as he kinda brought it on himself. I know it sounds harsh, but it's his own fault.
 
Many moons ago, when I was an avid snooker player, a bunch of us always used to hang out at the same club - I went out with a really nice girl who worked behind the bar there for a while. Nothing serious, just young people having fun.

One of the guys in our crowd, a very quiet lad who was only 16, and mostly always came with his Dad, came into the empty club one day; he was in fact the only one there apart from her - he battered her to death for the paltry takings in the till...

26 years ago, but I still get a strange sinking feeling when for some odd reason my mind flashes a picture of her up in my head...
 
I have never had a friend or acquaintance murdered but when I was in my 20's an ex girlfriend of mine was killed in a car crash,a mate from my football team and a neighbour of ours committed suicide and 2 friends from primary school died young from Cancer and a Heart Attack.
However it happens you do feel bad but from personal experience its a matter of remembering the fun times you had with them rather than dwell on their deaths
 
Snoop,

Any death of someone we know or knew be it sudden, violent or anticipated gives us a sense of our own mortality. What you are experiencing is loss and feeling lousy, sad or angry is ok.

This person was your friend and formed part of your history and life journey, we dont grow up alone, our friends no matter how long ago we knew them form the soundtrack to our lives.

My advice is take some time over this and reflect on what her friendship brought to you as a person, I am sure she benefited from knowing you.

H
 
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I`ve just lost a good friend on a guitar forum I visit, whilst we weren`t very close mates, we met on various forum meets and always got on. He was a larger than life character on the forum, both cuttingly (but never hurtfully) sarcastic, and an incredible guitarist.

I`ve been on the forum for seven years and Jase was on their when I started.

He contracted Swine Flu and died due to complications. He was aged 40.

It really hurt yesterday, we were informed by his best mate. There`s been a real sense of disbelief.

Jase at Gasfest..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFi8XJNj-mk
 
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