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Interesting thought.........
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Gandhi
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Nothin wrong with being ginger. I've dated girls with ginger hair. well, one maybe 
I don't wanna sound harsh, but girls do not find a man wallowing in self pity attractive. If chris evans can pull the piper then there is hope for even the most reppelent of us. I know, I count myself among them
I don't wanna sound harsh, but girls do not find a man wallowing in self pity attractive. If chris evans can pull the piper then there is hope for even the most reppelent of us. I know, I count myself among them Hmm... none of 'em dowhitewash said:
I got bullied at school too. Mostly mental torment but it got physical on a couple of occasions. On one such occasion I got pushed that far I actually snapped. I belted some kid in the face so hard that he ended up on the floor, and I ended up in A&E with 3 broken fingers. When I hit people (not that I do often) I wanna get in first and make it count. I worked out after a while that getting straight A's on report cards for the first 3 years made me an obvious target. I don't think being tall and skinny helped, either. So I started to deliberately screw up, to the point that my exams went completely tits-up and the best I got was four grade C's. :thumbsdown:
When I left school I made a promise to myself that I wasn't going to be pushed around forever. I do come across as aggressive sometimes but its mostly just a front... but I can still be pushed into a reaction and I will always say what I think.
I'm 6ft3 and 20st now, and recently completed City & Guilds National Certificate for Door Supervisors. Can't wait for the school reunion.
Marianne
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good for you GFK!
My son was bullied at school, he was tall, ginger, lanky and brainy....he soon learned to pretend to be less of a boffin and failed at school, he is still now at the age of 23 struggling to find himself, I hate those bullies for making his life a misery....nothing I say to him makes any difference, I just hope that one day he gets strong and finds himself!
My son was bullied at school, he was tall, ginger, lanky and brainy....he soon learned to pretend to be less of a boffin and failed at school, he is still now at the age of 23 struggling to find himself, I hate those bullies for making his life a misery....nothing I say to him makes any difference, I just hope that one day he gets strong and finds himself!
minimeeze
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whitewash said:
But you posted a pic of yourself (the one you have as your avatar) - you are NOT ugly. It's more of a self esteem / confidence thing, and as Ghandi rightly said, it will happen when you least expect it
That was the probelm with my fella - no self esteem or confidence (and probably why he was single for so long). I was the one who did all the chasing, until I finally snared him 
You only get one shot at life - make the most of it, enjoy it and think positive :rules:
DJW
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My advice for anyone with self doubt etc is to go find yourself. Sounds mad, but after a 10 year relationship that was pretty argumentive etc in last few years, I lost complete sight of the person I used to be.
When I finished the relationship I booked 6 weeks off work & went travelling round Australia on my own. I soon was back to my happy go lucky, extrovert self, meeting new people all the time. Made a promise to myself never to let other people change the way I am (unless for the better)......still working 7 years on
When I finished the relationship I booked 6 weeks off work & went travelling round Australia on my own. I soon was back to my happy go lucky, extrovert self, meeting new people all the time. Made a promise to myself never to let other people change the way I am (unless for the better)......still working 7 years on
I too was bullied at school. Had a terrible self-esteem problem etc etc.
Tried to join the Para Reg at 17 and was told to go away as I "wasn't what they were looking for" - at the time I was skinny and very weedy-looking.
So I went away. To France, where I'd spent many happy holidays as a kid. Got to Paris and joined the Foreign Legion!
Where I found myself at Home for the first time in my life - I discovered that if pushed I could actually run 5 miles without dying in the process - and boy, do they ever push you. Getting beaten by the corporals on 'Appell' at 03.00 hours during basic at Castelnaudrey was just more of the same **** that I'd had all my life, so it was easy to endure.
I found that firing a rifle is stupidly easy (though to this day I meet people in the military who can't hit the inside of a barn) and that I hit whatever I aimed at at almost any distance.
Eventually found myself in Chad in 1982 up in the mountains fighting insurgents being supported by Libya. We had a contact every three of four days or so.
Discovered that the war stories are all true - that incoming rockets and mortars always feel like they're going to land between your shoulder-blades - that a cup of hot coffee, freshly-made is more important on a cold morning than taking cover from incoming rounds (and wearing the scars to prove it!).
That killing people in a fire-fight is as much fun as it's ever possible to have, even when people around you are dying. I vividly remember the whoops of joy as we fired back at the men who moments before had been killing us, having circled round and surprised them. Then killing the ones who tried to surender.
Looking back I feel slightly uneasy about it, but at the time, I remember thinking that life just didn't get better. All the pent-up anger just burst out, I guess - doesn't matter how big and tough you are - you're just a better target at 300m to me.
My biggest regret was not taking a camera with me.
Edit: Just to clarify - these things happen in war. We didn't capture these guys then execute them, we over-ran a gun position (twin 12.7mm machine-gun known as a 'Dushka' from the Soviet designation) that had blown away a truck full of people and had us pinned down for almost 30 minutes. When we finally got to them they decided that they'd had enough and didn't want to play any more: too bad for them - three grenades into the gun-pit and then emptied our weapons into them that was left. That's how it's done. In my time in the British Army, we train exactly the same way.
To paraphrase George C. Scott as Patton: " Nobody ever won a war by dying for his country - wars are won by getting the poor b*st*rd on the other side to die for his country..."
Tried to join the Para Reg at 17 and was told to go away as I "wasn't what they were looking for" - at the time I was skinny and very weedy-looking.
So I went away. To France, where I'd spent many happy holidays as a kid. Got to Paris and joined the Foreign Legion!
Where I found myself at Home for the first time in my life - I discovered that if pushed I could actually run 5 miles without dying in the process - and boy, do they ever push you. Getting beaten by the corporals on 'Appell' at 03.00 hours during basic at Castelnaudrey was just more of the same **** that I'd had all my life, so it was easy to endure.
I found that firing a rifle is stupidly easy (though to this day I meet people in the military who can't hit the inside of a barn) and that I hit whatever I aimed at at almost any distance.
Eventually found myself in Chad in 1982 up in the mountains fighting insurgents being supported by Libya. We had a contact every three of four days or so.
Discovered that the war stories are all true - that incoming rockets and mortars always feel like they're going to land between your shoulder-blades - that a cup of hot coffee, freshly-made is more important on a cold morning than taking cover from incoming rounds (and wearing the scars to prove it!).
That killing people in a fire-fight is as much fun as it's ever possible to have, even when people around you are dying. I vividly remember the whoops of joy as we fired back at the men who moments before had been killing us, having circled round and surprised them. Then killing the ones who tried to surender.
Looking back I feel slightly uneasy about it, but at the time, I remember thinking that life just didn't get better. All the pent-up anger just burst out, I guess - doesn't matter how big and tough you are - you're just a better target at 300m to me.
My biggest regret was not taking a camera with me.
Edit: Just to clarify - these things happen in war. We didn't capture these guys then execute them, we over-ran a gun position (twin 12.7mm machine-gun known as a 'Dushka' from the Soviet designation) that had blown away a truck full of people and had us pinned down for almost 30 minutes. When we finally got to them they decided that they'd had enough and didn't want to play any more: too bad for them - three grenades into the gun-pit and then emptied our weapons into them that was left. That's how it's done. In my time in the British Army, we train exactly the same way.
To paraphrase George C. Scott as Patton: " Nobody ever won a war by dying for his country - wars are won by getting the poor b*st*rd on the other side to die for his country..."
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Beau Geste then Rob?
A mate of mine was in the Marines and stationed at Gibraltar, where the Marines went on the rampage and wrecked the place after several run-ins with the local police. The army rounded up the lot and splashed the ringleaders to the four winds. Roy was seconded to the French Foreign Legion. They had these toureg scouts who used to act as outriders on patrols, with orders to shoot anyone who tried to run. They had old Lee Enfields but could shoot the ass hole out of a rat at 300 yards and they wanted you to run.
It seems these guys spent all their money on having gold teeth fitted, so every time you looked at them you saw a big shiney grin and a Lee Enfield hovering in your direction.
A mate of mine was in the Marines and stationed at Gibraltar, where the Marines went on the rampage and wrecked the place after several run-ins with the local police. The army rounded up the lot and splashed the ringleaders to the four winds. Roy was seconded to the French Foreign Legion. They had these toureg scouts who used to act as outriders on patrols, with orders to shoot anyone who tried to run. They had old Lee Enfields but could shoot the ass hole out of a rat at 300 yards and they wanted you to run.
It seems these guys spent all their money on having gold teeth fitted, so every time you looked at them you saw a big shiney grin and a Lee Enfield hovering in your direction.
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the sole reason i have been bullied throughout my entire life is down to my first name, of which i have never ever been called since birth (so why the **** my parents couldnt just have used a bit of initiative and called me that as my middle name i will never know, and is the sole reason i actually resent my parents for, fthey are otherwise the most amazing people in the whole world)
i originally found out my real name (no one had the forsight to tell me) when my head teacher at my junior school, used my name as a cheap laugh during assembly on morning, i didnt understand it, but everyone was looking at me and laughing, everyone elsen understood it but i didnt, as far as i was aware my name was jamie (even my sister didnt know, but after she realised everyone was laughing at me, she came across the assembly and dragged me out of there.
this amusement at my name continued throughout my entire life, and made practically every day of my life at school a living hell. something i until very recently attributed to the fact i went out of my way to disguise my real name (after all wouldnt you if it caused every day of your life to be a living hell..?)
anyway when i started my current job i presumed that adults were more grown up and it wouldnt matter, especially if i was honest, but sadly not, now my life is **** again, all because of my name
hence my thread about changing my name, i didnt realise until recently that i could change my name, which im currently considering doing. it will probably deeply upset my family, but after 18 years of torture because of it, ive decided enough is enough and as well as swapping my names around, im actually considering loosing it all together, its something i just have to do.
who would have thought having the name harold would really make someones school life a living hell for so long, but then again if your 3rd in line to the thrown people probably wont use it as ammo.
please let this be a warning to anyone whos considering giving there child a first name and calling there child by there second name, its not going to make any difference, but dont do it, your mearly leading them directly towards a life of name calling, torment, beatings and mental anguish, which isnt really fair.
the thing is that if i had always been called harold, rather than jamie (which ive been know as since birth- never once have my parents or anyone ever called me anything different) it would be a problem, but people see the act of trying to cover my first name as some sort of weakness, and as we know, kids love to use peoples weaknesses against them.
also its weird, make a joke of the fact that im ginger, (unconventionally unattractive i.e. ugly..., lanky, rubbish at things and i will actively laugh along with you, non of these things bother me as im comfortable with them, but make fun of my name and you have crossed that line...
i originally found out my real name (no one had the forsight to tell me) when my head teacher at my junior school, used my name as a cheap laugh during assembly on morning, i didnt understand it, but everyone was looking at me and laughing, everyone elsen understood it but i didnt, as far as i was aware my name was jamie (even my sister didnt know, but after she realised everyone was laughing at me, she came across the assembly and dragged me out of there.
this amusement at my name continued throughout my entire life, and made practically every day of my life at school a living hell. something i until very recently attributed to the fact i went out of my way to disguise my real name (after all wouldnt you if it caused every day of your life to be a living hell..?)
anyway when i started my current job i presumed that adults were more grown up and it wouldnt matter, especially if i was honest, but sadly not, now my life is **** again, all because of my name
hence my thread about changing my name, i didnt realise until recently that i could change my name, which im currently considering doing. it will probably deeply upset my family, but after 18 years of torture because of it, ive decided enough is enough and as well as swapping my names around, im actually considering loosing it all together, its something i just have to do.
who would have thought having the name harold would really make someones school life a living hell for so long, but then again if your 3rd in line to the thrown people probably wont use it as ammo.
please let this be a warning to anyone whos considering giving there child a first name and calling there child by there second name, its not going to make any difference, but dont do it, your mearly leading them directly towards a life of name calling, torment, beatings and mental anguish, which isnt really fair.
the thing is that if i had always been called harold, rather than jamie (which ive been know as since birth- never once have my parents or anyone ever called me anything different) it would be a problem, but people see the act of trying to cover my first name as some sort of weakness, and as we know, kids love to use peoples weaknesses against them.
also its weird, make a joke of the fact that im ginger, (unconventionally unattractive i.e. ugly..., lanky, rubbish at things and i will actively laugh along with you, non of these things bother me as im comfortable with them, but make fun of my name and you have crossed that line...
minimeeze
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I know a harold, but have always known him simply as 'H'. Have no idea whether anyone took the p*ss out of him because of his name though.
Have you ever asked your parents why they gave you a name and never called you by it?
As you mentioned, changing your name by deed poll is relatively simple - just see a solicitor. It costs somewhere in the region of £50-100, and will be well worth it judging by your past troubles with your name
Have you ever asked your parents why they gave you a name and never called you by it?
As you mentioned, changing your name by deed poll is relatively simple - just see a solicitor. It costs somewhere in the region of £50-100, and will be well worth it judging by your past troubles with your name
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minimeeze said:
ive asked plenty of times, but the answer never seems to add, up, they claim they gave never used the name because it was the same as one of my relatives (who died when i was about 5) however, by calling me james or jamie, they gave me exactly the same name as a closer relative, so it doesnt really add up.
im sure they had there reasons but to me it doesnt make sense. im considering changing my name, simply because its caused me so much asnguish throughout my life, i guess its something ill have to do, dispite it allowing the bullys win, it;ll stop them in the future and its the future that matters right?!
oh and if you cant find out whats so amusingm or bullyworthy about the name harold? have you ever sat in a room of 30-40 people all doing steptoe impressions, its neither funny, nor amusing, its actually ****ing iritating but theres no way of making it stop because they find it so amusing, but its ok, its all at my expense..........
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Hey Jamie,
On the bullying... I can relate.
On the ginger ... I can kinda relate, I was the gorky, shy, dark girl that everyone called racist names!
On the name...I can defo relate!!!
They called me Gloria ... Gloria for godsake!
Everyone else was a Tracy or Michelle & I was bloody Gloria!
I always cringed when the register was called & the other kids couldnt even say it properly, it was always Goria, Gworwia, Or Groria!
If youve used to being called Jamie... drop the 'H'. The bullies havent won... youre changing it cos YOU want to, and cos YOU dont like it.
Im to too old & too used to mine now but I still cringe when I hear 'Gloria' called out in a public place!
On the bullying... I can relate.
On the ginger ... I can kinda relate, I was the gorky, shy, dark girl that everyone called racist names!
On the name...I can defo relate!!!
They called me Gloria ... Gloria for godsake!
Everyone else was a Tracy or Michelle & I was bloody Gloria!
I always cringed when the register was called & the other kids couldnt even say it properly, it was always Goria, Gworwia, Or Groria!
If youve used to being called Jamie... drop the 'H'. The bullies havent won... youre changing it cos YOU want to, and cos YOU dont like it.
Im to too old & too used to mine now but I still cringe when I hear 'Gloria' called out in a public place!
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kids can be such *******s, theres never any excuse for bullying and definetely not anything vaguely racist... but let me guess, your school didnt have a bullying problem neither...?
i used to detest the start of every year, because new teaches meant they would read the register which would as usual have my full name, and not the name i had repeatedly asked them to put on the registers!!!!!)
teacher - "harold barber"
me - "its pronounced jamie" (got me a laugh and a detention for being cheaky.....)
its such a hastle having to explain something to everyone and i cant be bothered to deal with it. i might have to talk to my parents at the weekend, see what they think
i used to detest the start of every year, because new teaches meant they would read the register which would as usual have my full name, and not the name i had repeatedly asked them to put on the registers!!!!!)
teacher - "harold barber"
me - "its pronounced jamie" (got me a laugh and a detention for being cheaky.....)
its such a hastle having to explain something to everyone and i cant be bothered to deal with it. i might have to talk to my parents at the weekend, see what they think
SammyC
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Hey mate, its your name, you do what you want with it.
I have an 'interesting' middle name and it caused me no end of hassle at school too, so you have my understanding. Why is it teachers think its funny to fuel the other kids with your strange name!
I have an 'interesting' middle name and it caused me no end of hassle at school too, so you have my understanding. Why is it teachers think its funny to fuel the other kids with your strange name!
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I've got a first name I've never use, my mother hates me called it and she choose it. Sort of a scottish tradition that myself and my brother and our families all get called by their middle name.
So now I just use it as an initial, looks better K.Allan
and if you wondering its Kenneth named after a king of Scotland. Yep kids loved finding out and used that and anything else about me against me - and I even had a member of staff that thought it was funny to call me Ken all day long ... but then I sacked them oops might easily have been unfair dismisal if they had had any brain.:nono:
When it came to my kids I stopped the tradition of ignoring the first name ... and instead they all got Gaelic names - Which even though yep they sometimes get teased with, they tell me they love the names because the're different. - Colum Patric, Aidan Connall and Ruaridh Fintan
Jamie - if its such a hastle get it changed even to just the initial H - its very popular in the music world to have initials.
Allan ... my signature with a pen is even K.Allan
So now I just use it as an initial, looks better
K.Allan and if you wondering its Kenneth named after a king of Scotland. Yep kids loved finding out and used that and anything else about me against me - and I even had a member of staff that thought it was funny to call me Ken all day long ... but then I sacked them
oops might easily have been unfair dismisal if they had had any brain.:nono: When it came to my kids I stopped the tradition of ignoring the first name ... and instead they all got Gaelic names - Which even though yep they sometimes get teased with, they tell me they love the names because the're different. - Colum Patric, Aidan Connall and Ruaridh Fintan
Jamie - if its such a hastle get it changed even to just the initial H - its very popular in the music world to have initials.
Allan ... my signature with a pen is even K.Allan
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On the subject of names.
Mine caused me a few problems at school.
I did get picked on in primary school for it, purely because it was different to the norm.
My surname is Booth, so that got a going over too. Telephone Booth etc etc.
I still to this day get called Marcel Marceu (sp).
It used to make me cringe, but now, TBH I really couldn't give a rats nadger what I get called.
The thing is though, with Marcel, it's also a girls name (Marcelle), which most people though.
When I started high school, which is a tough time for ANY 11 yr old. I had to go through all my new classes, on my own (had been separated from my mates due to just bad luck in the allocations)...I had to go through the classes all on my own, with my name on the girls register.
Right in the middle of the girls, I'd shout "Yes Miss", and the whole class would be sniggering and I just wanted the ground to swallow me up.
In PE, and single sex classes, my name wouldn't get shouted out, I wouldn't have any class materials prepared for me, or desks set aside, and I had to explain to the teacher, much to the amusement of the rest of the classes.
Now though, I really couldn't care less. I could be called Egamemnon the third or whatever, and it wouldn't phase me. I'm mature enough to realise, to me, my name is just that, a name. It's me, it's unique. If someone else thinks its funny, then that's great, I've made someone smile today. All the better.
I don't feel down about someone else thinking my name is funny, or doing Marcel Marceu impressions (which can get very tiring, I just laugh and say "Original" with a) OR being asked if I'm French (which happens ALL the time).
Nah, if someone else thinks my name is funny, why the hell should it upset me? I couldn't care less. My life doesn't change in any way whatsoever if someone laughs at my name. My wife still loves me. My kids love me. I have what's important.
Sounds crazy, but sticks and stones etc is very very true, once you truly look at things like that. Call me names, call me fat, call me stupid, call me ugly, and I'll probably laugh and walk away, thinking to myself "That guy has such a shallow and pathetic life of his own, that he thinks that passes as funny...sad really"
Don't let the buggers grind you down
Besides, I think Harold is an ace name. I'd like to be a Harold. And I'd join in with the Steptoe impressions too..get it down to a T and show em how it's done
Mine caused me a few problems at school.
I did get picked on in primary school for it, purely because it was different to the norm.
My surname is Booth, so that got a going over too. Telephone Booth etc etc.
I still to this day get called Marcel Marceu (sp).
It used to make me cringe, but now, TBH I really couldn't give a rats nadger what I get called.
The thing is though, with Marcel, it's also a girls name (Marcelle), which most people though.
When I started high school, which is a tough time for ANY 11 yr old. I had to go through all my new classes, on my own (had been separated from my mates due to just bad luck in the allocations)...I had to go through the classes all on my own, with my name on the girls register.
Right in the middle of the girls, I'd shout "Yes Miss", and the whole class would be sniggering and I just wanted the ground to swallow me up.
In PE, and single sex classes, my name wouldn't get shouted out, I wouldn't have any class materials prepared for me, or desks set aside, and I had to explain to the teacher, much to the amusement of the rest of the classes.
Now though, I really couldn't care less. I could be called Egamemnon the third or whatever, and it wouldn't phase me. I'm mature enough to realise, to me, my name is just that, a name. It's me, it's unique. If someone else thinks its funny, then that's great, I've made someone smile today. All the better.
I don't feel down about someone else thinking my name is funny, or doing Marcel Marceu impressions (which can get very tiring, I just laugh and say "Original" with a
) OR being asked if I'm French (which happens ALL the time).Nah, if someone else thinks my name is funny, why the hell should it upset me? I couldn't care less. My life doesn't change in any way whatsoever if someone laughs at my name. My wife still loves me. My kids love me. I have what's important.
Sounds crazy, but sticks and stones etc is very very true, once you truly look at things like that. Call me names, call me fat, call me stupid, call me ugly, and I'll probably laugh and walk away, thinking to myself "That guy has such a shallow and pathetic life of his own, that he thinks that passes as funny...sad really"
Don't let the buggers grind you down
Besides, I think Harold is an ace name. I'd like to be a Harold. And I'd join in with the Steptoe impressions too..get it down to a T and show em how it's done
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I have to admit to motorcycling a couple of years around Central Scotland before doing my car lessons/test on Orkney. I got to drive the company Landrover around Orkney for a few months before moving back south(ish). I bought my first car soon after and immediately had to drive 250+ miles on the M6/A74/M74 so pretty quickly got over any motorway fear.Marianne said:
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I had an accident 20 minutes before I was due to take my driving test in Folkestone. I hit a brand new top-of-the-range Rover that was trying to do a three-point turn in a one-way street
I was mightily ******ed off when told I wouldn't be allowed to take my test because of it. But I passed at the first attempt the following day
I was mightily ******ed off when told I wouldn't be allowed to take my test because of it. But I passed at the first attempt the following day
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GfK said:My ex hit another car on her driving test. And not just any car - it was a police car.
She failed.
So did I, on my first test.
OK I clipped a wing mirror but it wasn't my fault. I was trying to nudge to the left because another car wanted to get past and there was only room for one of us really. Parked cars both sides, and he turned into my road.
Ideally he should have seen me and waited, but he didn't.
Then I should have stopped, but I didn't I tried to tuck in, and clipped the wing mirror as the examiner was shouting "Pull out!", and me going "I cant, there's no room!"
I got a big "D" on the test sheet for that. I know it was Dangerous but everyone took the mick and kept saying it was for "Destructive driving"
Passed second time with flying colours, and both wing mirrors intact.
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i failed my finals part 1 exams in my 4 th year of medicine last year. i only failed 1 exam, but i failed it badly. they don't allow retakes in cardiff for the fourth year of medicine, every other year they do... but the fourth they do not. it's a shame as i passed all 5 of my clinicals with ease, it was one of the book exams i had trouble with.
i'm about the sit the final exams again after doing the whole year and other 5 exams during it so far in a weeks time and i'm terrified.
i've worked much harder than i did last year and tried to get my book knowledge up to scratch but it has just dawned on me that there is £20,000 of my money and 5 years of my life pending on me passing this time round. if i pass i have a hell of a reward, i'm into the 5th yr and will soon be a doctor and i get a 10 week trip across the other side of the world to work in tropical hospitals.
it's hitting the stage where i'm just plaiin exhausted, i'm fed up with revision and it seems like a never ending subject (...well that would be about right with medicine, should've thought abotu that before i started really!) i'm off home this weekend to get some help from friends and a little home cooking to sort me out, hopefully it will do the trick.
fingers crossed.
i'm about the sit the final exams again after doing the whole year and other 5 exams during it so far in a weeks time and i'm terrified.
i've worked much harder than i did last year and tried to get my book knowledge up to scratch but it has just dawned on me that there is £20,000 of my money and 5 years of my life pending on me passing this time round. if i pass i have a hell of a reward, i'm into the 5th yr and will soon be a doctor and i get a 10 week trip across the other side of the world to work in tropical hospitals.
it's hitting the stage where i'm just plaiin exhausted, i'm fed up with revision and it seems like a never ending subject (...well that would be about right with medicine, should've thought abotu that before i started really!) i'm off home this weekend to get some help from friends and a little home cooking to sort me out, hopefully it will do the trick.
fingers crossed.
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mfwild13 said:
I drove from the midlands to Southhampton when I was 15, ran over a deer en route, and best of all it was my parents idea and they were the passengers. To this day I have no idea why my dad said 'Fancy driving?', and, more importantly, my mum didn't stop me!
