I love children but I couldn't eat a whole one......

MWHCVT

MWHCVT

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Matthew
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Yes
.....don't you just love kiddies, from the mouths of babes as they say...being a fat man I've never looked in a mirror so I don't know that I'm fat :suspect: thankfully there is always a charming little kiddie who can point my belly out for me :lol: in a local shop a little kid of about 3 or 4 kept on pointing and saying look at the fat man mummy...I've never really minded that so long as mummy has the decency to say don't be rude or such like......mummy failed in this instance so I bend down and say "do you know how I got so fat?.....I eat children like you....." So now we have a screaming child and mummy giving me eyes of pure evil :lol: :lol: oh and a shop keeper trying desperately not to laugh....

Am I evil.....discuss

Now pass me a beer and a......j......cake :D
 
Bad enough my own little terrors do that to me - "Daddy is old because he has a big tummy" etc ... yes, i do need some toning up, lol. but other people's brats!? I'd be tempted to say to the mother "Don't you teach your kids manners?" - because if mine ever said that aloud to a stranger in public, I'd be mortified, and give them a good telling off back at home for it.
 
:lol::lol::lol: to have been there to see.. classic!..

now would you like your J.... giant AND hormonal? ;)
 
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:Lol::lol::lol:

my daughter was in a shop the other day when she told me very loudly 'hasn't that lady got a very big bottom'.........
 
I stood in a dispensing chemist's not so long ago, and a woman was rummaging around in her bag for something whilst juggling a baby. I talking new fresh out of the wrapping kid. She couldn't find what she was looking for and turned to me and said "hold this for me" and passed over said infant.

I don't think so.

It's squirmy, it's noisy and it smells.

All yours mum.....count me out.
 
boyfalldown said:
:Lol::lol::lol:

my daughter was in a shop the other day when she told me very loudly 'hasn't that lady got a very big bottom'.........
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The punch line to that is, her beeper goes off,
and the child says ****! look out, she's reversing :D
 
Glad I'm not tarnished as evil yet haha

Cg_Girl said:
:lol::lol::lol: to have been there to see.. classic!..

now would you like your J.... giant AND hormonal? ;)
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Oh yes please I do like a hormonal giant :D
 
Cobra said:
The punch line to that is, her beeper goes off,
and the child says ****! look out, she's reversing :D
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I did used to have a wide load t shirt haha
 
Brilliant Story Matt :thumbs:
 
Cobra said:
Brilliant Story Matt :thumbs:
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I has lots of stories :D like the time I went to and old abandoned church in Northamptonshire at the dead of night in the middle of nowhere and there were a couple of cars there :suspect: I wonder what they were up to haha....still they left when I got the camera out :( spoil sports

Cg_Girl said:
Chuckle!.... :lol::lol:
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Knew you'd like that
 
Hormonal giant?
Bernard Bresslaw hitting pubity? :thinking:
 
MWHCVT said:
I has lots of stories :D like the time I went to and old abandoned church in Northamptonshire at the dead of night in the middle of nowhere and there were a couple of cars there :suspect: I wonder what they were up to haha....still they left when I got the camera out :( spoil sports
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I do wonder about you sometimes Matt, I really do!
 
Trouble seems to come looking for him doesn't it? :D
 
Cobra said:
Trouble seems to come looking for him doesn't it? :D
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To steal a line from lethal weapon 4....trouble doesn't come looking for me it already knows where I am ;)
 
MWHCVT said:
.....don't you just love kiddies, from the mouths of babes as they say...being a fat man I've never looked in a mirror so I don't know that I'm fat :suspect: thankfully there is always a charming little kiddie who can point my belly out for me :lol: in a local shop a little kid of about 3 or 4 kept on pointing and saying look at the fat man mummy...I've never really minded that so long as mummy has the decency to say don't be rude or such like......mummy failed in this instance so I bend down and say "do you know how I got so fat?.....I eat children like you....." So now we have a screaming child and mummy giving me eyes of pure evil :lol: :lol: oh and a shop keeper trying desperately not to laugh....

Am I evil.....discuss

Now pass me a beer and a......j......cake :D
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ha ha....

Pretty sure I embarrassed the hell out of my mum when i was little as well...

We're talking back in 1976/7, smoking allowed on buses at the back, but i wanted to sit there as raised and could see out of the window.

Also back in 1976/7 there were not many black people in Norwich (still are few compared to larger cities, however I guess this particular gentleman was a student or lecturer at the UEA.)

Guy had the biggest afro ever and i was 3 / 4 never having seen a black guy before, so had to proudly announce to the whole busy bus that there was "a real live golliwog"... of course the more mum tried to divert my attention, the louder and more insistent I got!!!!

He (so I am told) was totally cool with it though.... :|
 
I'm guessing that it wasn't the first time he had heard it either,
given the year ;)
 
Lynton said:
ha ha....

Pretty sure I embarrassed the hell out of my mum when i was little as well...

We're talking back in 1976/7, smoking allowed on buses at the back, but i wanted to sit there as raised and could see out of the window.

Also back in 1976/7 there were not many black people in Norwich (still are few compared to larger cities, however I guess this particular gentleman was a student or lecturer at the UEA.)

Guy had the biggest afro ever and i was 3 / 4 never having seen a black guy before, so had to proudly announce to the whole busy bus that there was "a real live golliwog"... of course the more mum tried to divert my attention, the louder and more insistent I got!!!!

He (so I am told) was totally cool with it though.... :|
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I just snorted and spluttered with laughter!... :lol::lol::lol:

one of my fav toys as a child was a golliwog... until i had a dream it was floating up on my bedroom ceiling.. :suspect:
 
Lynton said:
ha ha....

Pretty sure I embarrassed the hell out of my mum when i was little as well...

We're talking back in 1976/7, smoking allowed on buses at the back, but i wanted to sit there as raised and could see out of the window.

Also back in 1976/7 there were not many black people in Norwich (still are few compared to larger cities, however I guess this particular gentleman was a student or lecturer at the UEA.)

Guy had the biggest afro ever and i was 3 / 4 never having seen a black guy before, so had to proudly announce to the whole busy bus that there was "a real live golliwog"... of course the more mum tried to divert my attention, the louder and more insistent I got!!!!

He (so I am told) was totally cool with it though.... :|
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:lol: :lol: I wonder what embarrassment the terrible twosome can provide for you haha

Cg_Girl said:
I just snorted and spluttered with laughter!... :lol::lol::lol:

one of my fav toys as a child was a golliwog... until i had a dream it was floating up on my bedroom ceiling.. :suspect:
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On the cooking cherry as such a young age :shake:
 
Cg_Girl said:
... until i had a dream it was floating up on my bedroom ceiling.. :suspect:
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And yet another one that I worry about too :shake:

Its tough being a greenie with so much responsibility :D
 
MWHCVT said:
:lol: :lol: I wonder what embarrassment the terrible twosome can provide for you haha
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What goes around comes around, he'll have his moments I'm sure :D
 
MWHCVT said:
It just shows that you care :lol:
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As you quoted lethal weapon earlier,
here's another one

"I'm getting to old for this ****" :D
 
Cobra said:
What goes around comes around, he'll have his moments I'm sure :D
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:D we can only hope so mwhahaha the question is will he deal with the ensuing complaints or will we have to go to the CEO aka Mrs S
 
MWHCVT said:
:D we can only hope so mwhahaha the question is will he deal with the ensuing complaints or will we have to go to the CEO aka Mrs S
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:lol: :lol: :lol:
 
Cobra said:
As you quoted lethal weapon earlier,
here's another one

"I'm getting to old for this ****" :D
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The next banned member has to be dealt with lethal weapon 2 style...your memberships just been revoked ;)
 
A few years ago, while shopping in Sainsbury's, a child who had been running up and down the aisles and being a PITA slipped just in front of us. Didn't hurt itself so I just said (fairly loudly, I'll admit) "Ha, ha!" in best Nelson fashion. The poor shelf stackeress who had seen the tumble almost wet herself trying not to laugh!

I've also been known to drop packs of condoms into the trolleys of mothers of badly behaved children (and elderly dodderers!)
 
Get it right Matt :p

"Diplomatic immunity ..... has been revoked" ;)
 
Nod said:
I've also been known to drop packs of condoms into the trolleys of mothers of badly behaved children (and elderly dodderers!)
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In true Victor Meldrew style :thumbs:
 
You can't beat Victor Meldrew, plenty of the buggers around too:D
 
MWHCVT said:
Oh yes please I do like a hormonal giant :D
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when you're accepted to the mod team (and we all know that's coming) you'll be a jolly green giant ;)
 
Nod said:
I've also been known to drop packs of condoms into the trolleys of mothers
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That's not most people's idea of a subtle chat up line you know Nod ;)
 
It may just be me but I find the idea of terrifying a young child just because they say you are fat abhorrent :shrug:
Mentioning it to the mother is understandable I suppose but to scare a young child!
Ah well, one more for the Ignore list
 
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