I wonder if you are trying to over complicate things. You have almost got it right in your first sentence, because
it is"just a simple matter of over or under exposing by however many stops to achieve the desired graph." That is all there is to it.
There are two components to exposure technique - metering for the correct level, and the settings used to achieve that level. There is only ever one level of optimum exposure, and it makes no difference how you arrive at it - clever metering options, experience or guesswork, it makes no difference.
You then have to deliver the optimum exposure level to the sensor with a combination of lens aperture, shutter speed and ISO options. Mix and match them how you like, so long as the level remains the same exposure will always be optimum (even though all sorts of other things may change, eg depth of field).
The histogram is just the best method yet devised to tell you exactly what exposure level you have actually got on the sensor. The main thing is to ensure that all important tones from light to dark are inside the two ends of the graph. The LCD image will give you a good steer on that, then check the histogram to make sure. The danger area is blown highlights and the first thing to do here is to enable 'blinkies' in custom functions - this will make over exposed highlights flash black and white on the LCD as a warning. If you then switch to the histogram, they will show as a spike butting straight up against the right hand edge.
This might be okay, or it might not. It depends whether the blown highlights are
important or not as it's almost impossible to get them all in much of the time. If the sun is in shot for example, you'll never get that within the extremes of the histogram together with foregorund and shadow detail, it's impossible. So you have to decide where the cut off is going to be and you do that by adjusting the exposure level, usually with the +/- compensation dial, but by whatever method suits you.
Adding or substracting from the exposure simply slides the histogram graph right or left and it is up to you to decide where you want it. You can do nothing about the shape of the graph with exposure settings - that's decided by the subject and the lighting - only its position.
You will hear people talk about 'expose to the right' which is an advanced technique to get the last drop of quality into the image file, if you are going to post process it. Basically, there is a lot more image information recorded in the right hand end of the graph so the further you can push it that way, even if the LCD image looks too bright, the more data you will have to play with in post where you would just darken it back down again - the result is that you get more detail in the shadows.
However, the obvious danger in doing this is that you will blow the highlights and most people find that pulling up the shadows a bit in post processing is easier than trying to rescue blown highlights because once they're gone, they're gone for good.
I will just add that the histogram is derived from a JPEG image tagged to the Raw file. It is not actually the Raw image. Some people will say that therefore it in not an absolute guarantee of exposure level. I say don't listen to them