HELP - My wedding distaster.

Yv said:
OK, lets calm it down please. There is a huge difference between impacting on the 'wedding' and impacting the 'marriage' - one is a single day, the other has the intention of being a lifetime and i think we are talking about the former not the latter here. Lets not question the marriage please, it is both unfair and not the issue.
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Thank you Yv. :)
 
wippers said:
I'm sorry Matt, but I certainly don't take an "American way" (as you put it) towards compensation and this for us is certainly not a "slightest of thing". Whilst many may not bother about the front of their wedding venue being clad in scaffolding and probably tarps, for us the building was beautiful and was the reason we chose the venue. Perhaps if you think about why you chose your wedding venue and then remove that special thing and see how you would have felt (providing you have been married of course, because if you've not spent the time and effort I have orgainsing every last detail, then you do not have the knowledge to comment).:shake:

Anyway, back on subject. The Manager from the hotel has contacted me and we are going to meet him in person (his request) tomorrow evening. We'll see what that brings.
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I married my wife 40 years ago :) and believe me the venue, the guests and everything else was very much unimportant in respect to the girl I married.
I think maybe you are a little too much focused on the minutia (sp?) and need to focus on "why" you are getting married.
Please re=focus and enjoy the day for what it is, the start of a brilliant new adventure and I truly hope that after the day you have as long and as happy a marriage as I have had. There's been ups and downs but tbh the venue and the pictures really have faded in importance. Have a brilliant day whatever happens between now and then.
Sincerely best wishes to you and your wife to be.
 
viv1969 said:
But it's not their wedding, is it.
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So if photos are so unimportant, why do some pay £2k+ when they could just get someone off Gumtree to do it for £150?

Obviously the actual wedding is the key, but things like photos, dress, cake etc.. are all important for the actual day, and arguable photos are the best as you have those for life (as opposed to meal, flowers, cake etc...).
 
At the end of the day from a photographers point of view there are two options

a) as has been suggested embrace it and make it part of a fun shoot , or b) find a different backdrop - I'd suggest taking to your tog , he'll appreciate the heads up and a decent tog will be able to do either (and may have other ideas - for example there may be places near by you could pop to for the bridal shots etc)

Also if it rains (as is relatively likely at this time of year) presumably shots will be inside so the scaffolding won't matter anyway.

Whatever you do don't let it spoil your day, and as I said a good wedding shooter will help you plan round it
 
MatBin said:
I married my wife 40 years ago :) and believe me the venue, the guests and everything else was very much unimportant in respect to the girl I married.
I think maybe you are a little too much focused on the minutia (sp?) and need to focus on "why" you are getting married.
Please re=focus and enjoy the day for what it is, the start of a brilliant new adventure and I truly hope that after the day you have as long and as happy a marriage as I have had. There's been ups and downs but tbh the venue and the pictures really have faded in importance. Have a brilliant day whatever happens between now and then.
Sincerely best wishes to you and your wife to be.
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Just read Yv's post. This isn't about the marriage. That is something that will not be effected by a few metals poles at a wedding venue. This is about the day. The wedding. I think perhaps we are maybe a generation apart in our views.
 
big soft moose said:
At the end of the day from a photographers point of view there are two options

a) as has been suggested embrace it and make it part of a fun shoot , or b) find a different backdrop - I'd suggest taking to your tog , he'll appreciate the heads up and a decent tog will be able to do either (and may have other ideas - for example there may be places near by you could pop to for the bridal shots etc)

Also if it rains (as is relatively likely at this time of year) presumably shots will be inside so the scaffolding won't matter anyway.

Whatever you do don't let it spoil your day, and as I said a good wedding shooter will help you plan round it
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Good points and well made. I have a lot of confidence on the photographer we have, so I'm sure we will sort something.
 
cambsno said:
So if photos are so unimportant, why do some pay £2k+ when they could just get someone off Gumtree to do it for £150?

Obviously the actual wedding is the key, but things like photos, dress, cake etc.. are all important for the actual day, and arguable photos are the best as you have those for life (as opposed to meal, flowers, cake etc...).
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I said to me they were unimportant.
But yes...in the grand scheme....on my opinion they're just photos.
The same as it's just a dress.
Just a cake.
Trappings.
Window dressing.
 
I can see why it's upsetting. You didn't spend time picking out a venue only for it to be covered in metal. Weddings as lovely days to catch up with friends and family but most importantly to marry your 'one' I hope the venue come up with a solution.

The odd little thing will go a bit wrong on the day. Some relative will grumble about something etc etc but just go with it and enjoy yourself.
 
wippers said:
Good points and well made. I have a lot of confidence on the photographer we have, so I'm sure we will sort something.
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May be he could get the bride and bridesmaids pole dancing ;) ( it would take a braver man than me to suggest that to a client though :lol: )
 
People go to a lot of trouble and expense to pick a venue they love, so that they will look back on their beautiful images of their day. I don't think that means they don't care enough about the marriage.More in this particular instance that something paid for is now less than it should be.
It IS an annoyance, and the venue should be compensating.
 
MWHCVT said:
I say grab a few hard hats and maybe a hi vis and make some funny photos out of it :D
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I have to say, this is a very good idea, fair enough you might have wanted the building as a 'perfect' backdrop but looking back in years to come, I am sure some proper quirky pictures will be very fondly looked at!

I would go as far as to get a new wheelbarrow (get venue to buy it for inconvenience) and have you both in hard hats and high vis and have you or the best man 'carting' her off!
 
As I recall, Chatsworth House undertook major repairs and they used decent images pre-scaffolding, which when combined carefully in Photoshop, with pictures taken 'on the day' complete with scaffolding, allowed an attractive images without the scaffolding in the picture at all.

Perhaps the organisers/photographer could do some pre-event pictures to achieve something similar?

Anthony.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01jjy9d

"Episode 3

Duration: 1 hour

Summer arrives, bringing with it wedding season at Chatsworth, but there is a veil hanging over proceedings and it does not belong to the bride. For the entire 2011 season, the famous south and west wings have been covered in scaffolding as part of a massive renovation; but it could spell disaster for their burgeoning wedding business and the all-important wedding photographs. However, ever-resourceful events manager Kay Rotchford has some Photoshop magic up her sleeve...."
 
Anthony.Ralph said:
As I recall, Chatsworth House undertook major repairs and they used decent images pre-scaffolding, which when combined carefully in Photoshop, with pictures taken 'on the day' complete with scaffolding, allowed an attractive images without the scaffolding in the picture at all.

Perhaps the organisers/photographer could do some pre-event pictures to achieve something similar?

Anthony.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01jjy9d

"Episode 3

Duration: 1 hour

Summer arrives, bringing with it wedding season at Chatsworth, but there is a veil hanging over proceedings and it does not belong to the bride. For the entire 2011 season, the famous south and west wings have been covered in scaffolding as part of a massive renovation; but it could spell disaster for their burgeoning wedding business and the all-important wedding photographs. However, ever-resourceful events manager Kay Rotchford has some Photoshop magic up her sleeve...."
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Yup and every time the couple look at those photos they'll know they were lies.
 
How long is the scaffolding going up for. Would it be possible to revisit afterwards for alternative shots. Is it just the front of the Venus that has issues, and is the only suitable place for photos.

I understand the pressures that build up before a wedding and how the smallest things tend to appear very important, but now is the time to focus on the issues and resolutions not the problem. Fine to have a ten minute "oh FFS" moment, but then it's important to move on and seek solutions.

Speak to your photographer, it could need another venue visit with the photographer and hotel manager to seek alternative locations or possibilities.

On the bright side, it gives you lots of building references for your speech.
 
boyfalldown said:
And every photographer who shot there during that time knows it was an idea that didn't work either
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Well the programme showed examples of where it 'seemed' to accomplish what was required. You obviously have access to information that I don't.

Anthony.
 
nice idea, but very unlikely to happen
 
When is the scaffolding due to go up? Could it not be delayed? If it has been up for months and they only just mention it then the venue were deliberately misleading.
 
I reckon it would be best to make the most of the situation and use the scaffolding to your advantage for some of the pics. Not all the pics will be in front of them. Arrange another day with the photographer and the hotel when the scaffolding is taken down for some 'after wedding' shots.

The important part of the wedding is the marriage and being with friends and family.
 
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venue could buy many many hard hats, hi-vis jackets and boots for all your guests (say it's law as it's (lie) construction site??? :) ) or just get it down ... NOW :)
 
Go back when the scaffolding is down and reshoot?
 
wippers said:
Just read Yv's post. This isn't about the marriage. That is something that will not be effected by a few metals poles at a wedding venue. This is about the day. The wedding. I think perhaps we are maybe a generation apart in our views.
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Gareth, I'm just trying to advise you that the current trend to spend a fortune (£15K) and the overwhelming desire to have a perfect day is as you point out a generational thing and perhaps you're misguided in worrying about making it all perfect.
How many of the formal photographs are/were going to be taken with that backdrop, how many photographs are going to be taken, what percentage of the day will they in truth occupy.

I suppose we'll just have to agree to disagree on the impact to the day.
As before, best wishes to you both.
 
big soft moose said:
nice idea, but very unlikely to happen
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But he could ask. Depending on how much scaffolding there is and if its safe to do so - perhaps there just re-pointing or something else not life threatening.
How much scaffolding is the big question and whether getting bad press from spoiling the couples day is worth paying to have it taken down and put back up
 
Can I just clear one thing up here. This is not all about not getting the photos I wanted. I'm sure my photographer will still get some amazing shots of the day even without the Hall as a backdrop. It's about the whole point of booking the actual venue. If we were not bothered about what the place looked like from the outside, we could have gone elsewhere and saved a considerable amount of money. That's the point. Without the impact of the Hall and what that brings to the day, we'll still have a great day inside I have no doubt, but I could have done that in many other local venues without the cost.
 
wippers said:
Can I just clear one thing up here. This is not all about not getting the photos I wanted. I'm sure my photographer will still get some amazing shots of the day even without the Hall as a backdrop. It's about the whole point of booking the actual venue. If we were not bothered about what the place looked like from the outside, we could have gone elsewhere and saved a considerable amount of money. That's the point. Without the impact of the Hall and what that brings to the day, we'll still have a great day inside I have no doubt, but I could have done that in many other local venues without the cost.
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:thumbs: and thats the main point you should make in the meeting - you booked based on their USP , that USP now doesnt exist so you want a discount/refund down to the price of where you would have gone instead ( I doubt you'll get that much , but its not a bad starting point for negotiations)
 
big soft moose said:
:thumbs: and thats the main point you should make in the meeting - you booked based on their USP , that USP now doesnt exist so you want a discount/refund down to the price of where you would have gone instead ( I doubt you'll get that much , but its not a bad starting point for negotiations)
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Exactly. The sad thing is, I don't even want loads of compo or anything (as has been previously insinuated), I just want what I have paid for. :thumbs:
 
Well it looks like we have some good news. Just had a call from one the Hotel Managers and they have changed the way they are going to carry the work. I'm not sure of the exact details until I get a letter tomorrow, but they are now going to carry out the work with some kind of moveable scaffold system (maybe a cherry-picker type arrangement) and this cannot start until after our wedding. :clap::clap:
I think this will also have very minimum (if any) effect on the other later weddings, which is great. :thumbs:
They are sending a bunch of flowers and an offer of a free stay next year (or something like that) as way of an apology. I can't ask for more than that. :thumbs: :)
 
wippers said:
Exactly. The sad thing is, I don't even want loads of compo or anything (as has been previously insinuated), I just want what I have paid for. :thumbs:
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If they dont play ball, this is the sort of thing that could be worth saying to the local papers as well as the Sun, and even Watchdog... if you politely threaten that you will do this they will backtrack as the bad publicity will cost a lot more! Make sure this is in a polite way and not an aggressive way.
 
That's good! They've probably realised partial refunds for all those affected would cost them more than using an alternate method.
 
wippers said:
Well it looks like we have some good news. Just had a call from one the Hotel Managers and they have changed the way they are going to carry the work. I'm not sure of the exact details until I get a letter tomorrow, but they are now going to carry out the work with some kind of moveable scaffold system (maybe a cherry-picker type arrangement) and this cannot start until after our wedding. :clap::clap:
I think this will also have very minimum (if any) effect on the other later weddings, which is great. :thumbs:
They are sending a bunch of flowers and an offer of a free stay next year (or something like that) as way of an apology. I can't ask for more than that. :thumbs: :)
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Great news and good on the venue.
 
wippers said:
Well it looks like we have some good news. Just had a call from one the Hotel Managers and they have changed the way they are going to carry the work. I'm not sure of the exact details until I get a letter tomorrow, but they are now going to carry out the work with some kind of moveable scaffold system (maybe a cherry-picker type arrangement) and this cannot start until after our wedding. :clap::clap:
I think this will also have very minimum (if any) effect on the other later weddings, which is great. :thumbs:
They are sending a bunch of flowers and an offer of a free stay next year (or something like that) as way of an apology. I can't ask for more than that. :thumbs: :)
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good news :thumbs:
 
Fantastic news :)

I guess they figured potentially having a load of wedding photos taken in front of some unsightly scaffolding might have affected bookings.

By not having scaffolding there and their nice little goodwill gesture you're going to be a lot more likely to recommend them so I think they've played a blinder!
 
wippers said:
Well it looks like we have some good news. Just had a call from one the Hotel Managers and they have changed the way they are going to carry the work. I'm not sure of the exact details until I get a letter tomorrow, but they are now going to carry out the work with some kind of moveable scaffold system (maybe a cherry-picker type arrangement) and this cannot start until after our wedding. :clap::clap:
I think this will also have very minimum (if any) effect on the other later weddings, which is great. :thumbs:
They are sending a bunch of flowers and an offer of a free stay next year (or something like that) as way of an apology. I can't ask for more than that. :thumbs: :)
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Great news, I understand fully your worry and concern, but great to see it's all come good in the end. Now relax and enjoy the magic of the day :thumbs:
 
wippers said:
Well it looks like we have some good news. Just had a call from one the Hotel Managers and they have changed the way they are going to carry the work. I'm not sure of the exact details until I get a letter tomorrow, but they are now going to carry out the work with some kind of moveable scaffold system (maybe a cherry-picker type arrangement) and this cannot start until after our wedding. :clap::clap:
I think this will also have very minimum (if any) effect on the other later weddings, which is great. :thumbs:
They are sending a bunch of flowers and an offer of a free stay next year (or something like that) as way of an apology. I can't ask for more than that. :thumbs: :)
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Great news, so glad it worked out for you :)
 
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