Gr *RANT*

marcusp13

marcusp13

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Name
Marcus Peacock
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Basically,

My girlfriend (16) is still living at home with her parents, and everything was fine and dandy until about 2 months ago. Her brother (20) moved in a couple of months ago, and everything began to change.

In no particular order, here's a list of things that have happened:

  • Her dad is trying to make her pay rent (she's a full time student) when her brother (works full time) doesnt pay rent.
  • Every time she does anything to help around the house, nobody shows any gratitude or says thank you. When her brother does work around the house, he gets all the praise.
  • When she's doing housework, her brother doesn't help, and nobody complains. When it's the other way round she gets shouted at.
  • Her and her parents were in London last weekend, and she had no money. Her parents asked if she wanted to go to any shops, she said "i have no money". To which she got the reply "Oh... Shall we go buy Joel some clothes?"
  • If her parents buy any sweet food in the house, they let her brother eat it, but if she goes to eat it they say "what do you think you are doing?"
  • Last but not least (this happened today). The other night I did a photoshoot of the whole family, and I said when I've edited the images I'll give them the photos and they can use them on Facebook etc. Her brother comes into her room today and this happens:
    Joel: "give me the photos to put on facebook"
    Dannii: "no marcus said not to put them on facebook until he's edited them"
    Joel: "give me the photos i'm your ****ing brother"
    so needless to say I had words about that one!

And now we're going to talk to my parents about her moving into my place for a few months until we get a place of our own.

I've lost a lot of respect for my gf's family since he moved in.

Rant Over
 
be VERY carefull on this one.
if you stick your ore into "family business " you better be prepared for the backlash.
i assume you have a good relationship with her parents.
watch that change if they see you "sticking your nose in".
i suggest your girlfreind has a quiete sit down with her mum and dad , and TALKS about whats getting her goat.
big brothers are often a holes.

while i dont wish to cast aspersions on your relationship with your girlfreind, i would be wary of moving in with her at the tender age of sixteen too.
obviously i know nither you , nor your girlfreind, but experience in my case , has taught me a few things.
i'm an old git ya know.
particularly if the main reason for this is too get her out from under her parents feet.
i hope you all sort your problems out, it sounds like the lady is having a hard time of it.
but be carefull.
sorry if i'm getting a little personal, but you did post up this rant.
i assume you wanted us to either put in an opinion, or side up for you .
 
I've suggested that she sit's down with the 3 of them and talks to them about it.
I have a good relationship with her whole family yes, and I'm trying to stay out of it as much as I can, as I don't want to ruin this. Personally however I have noticed a change in her immediate family, especially her brother.

At first I was very sceptical about the thought of her moving in with me aswell, but she was the one who suggested it, and we've spent a lot of time together over the past few months and i've found it brilliant.

First thing's first though, gonna get her to talk to her parents about it.
 
Hire a Hit-Man and have him ritually slaughtered with a bread-knife - then put the video of THAT on uTube...

You know it makes sense...
 
Arkady said:
Hire a Hit-Man and have him ritually slaughtered with a bread-knife - then put the video of THAT on uTube...

You know it makes sense...
Click to expand...

There you go again. Saying what I'm thinking.

STOP IT!
 
Dont rush into anything. I dont want to sound condescending but 16 is very young and not the best time to leave home, especially as she probably has parents who care about her ( most 16 year old girls think their parents are unfair, in my experience). It sounds as if there is a lot of family dynamics going on here. This isnt the place to go into things and I cant give much advice without knowing more.Feel free to PM me if you want someone to talk to about this).One of the best things you can do for your girlfriend is to listen to her woes and continue to encourage her to talk to her parents.

I'm glad you felt able to have a rant on here and hope things sort themselves out for you as you are obviously a caring person.
 
You have just described me and my brother (who is younger than me by 6 years). He ruled the roost and is still a lazy good for nothing you know what. The world revolved around him whilst I had to do chores and pay rent when I was student (and not even living at home full time).

As others have said, best that they sit down and talk and sort it out themselves - you don't want to be seen as sticking your oar in, even though it sounds like you really do care.
 
My situation is the complete opposite. My younger sister was ALLWAYS treated as the golden child. The problem now is, I don't talk to any of my family because it got so bad. Your girlfriend needs to sort this out herself, and soon, before things get to the same stage as me, i can tell you personally, it is not nice to know your family are only 3 hours away and none of them want contact with you, i don't even get birthday cards from any of them. The only contact i have had in the last 2 years has been a Gloating emeail from my sister telling me that my parents had given her Moms brand spanking new MX5, and were paying the deposit on her and her husbands house. To which she recieved an email telling her where to go:bat:
 
Watch it .......... seems very like trouble looking for somewhere to happen.
 
My girlfriend is very unwilling to talk to her parents about it, as she always is about things that bother her, in the end I normally have to sit down with her and her parents and start off the conversation, which she then continues with and once she gets more comfortable I leave.

Do you think this is a good idea? Or to just keep trying to convince her on her own?
 
be supportive.

dont let her move in with you is the advice i would give. if you have to start the convo with her parents, go for it. they have lived with her for 16 years so should know what shes like and that it takes someone else to start the talks. perhaps there is something more going on with the brother than what you know? hence why he is getting the preferential treatment.

how long has it been going on? it may be a temporary thing until the brother sorts himself out:shrug:

too many unknowns to comment helpfully in truth. and not something to be discussed in open chat either really:)
 
Na they haven't lived for 16 years, due to a lot of complications and stuff (dont wanna go into it) she's only lived with them for 2 years.
 
marcusp13 said:
Na they haven't lived for 16 years, due to a lot of complications and stuff (dont wanna go into it) she's only lived with them for 2 years.
Click to expand...

sounds like a lot of background stuff going on, you gonna have to do what you feel is right;)
 
And it doesn't get any better the older you get, son. :shrug:

/cynical mode off. :D
 
They can mess with your girlfriend, the can mess with you. But, touch your photos before there ready, oh no.

It's not nice when families cause problems. Be carefull how you tread. Quite often lip biting is the order of the day as much as possible. Bridges are VERY hard to rebuild.

Good luck.
 
If she is 16 then I'm guessing you are also young, that's a very young age to move in with someone and especially when its being done not out of choice but through circumstances driving you to it. My advice would be not too, you'll only resent each other for it.
 
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