good context?

[baxi]

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/199/519663382_3a0a080104_o.jpg

This image before you shows a beautiful landscape, slowly over time, human exsistance had taken it toll over the land.
This body of work shows how a human impact on this once innocent and unblemished landscape. Human society has a need for existance, the land is taken away in every essence and the impact of this, has chilling conseqences.


what u think

 

[Messiah Khan]

It makes me think; "Nice picture, shame the telegraph pole is in the way. Hope I get to go to the alps skiing again sometime soon". Sorry, but it doesn't make me think deep thoughts about human encroachment on nature.

 

[baxi]

the pylons spoil the image which is a good thing, it doesn't need to be deep and meaning full yet,it is only one image form a big body of work

 

[Panzerbjorn]

I'm not buying it just yet, sorry mate.

let me explain why:

The Image

As far as the composition goes it would be great if you were taking a photo of the lake with a mountainous background. However, the focal point of the image is supposed to be the pylons and they are getting lost. It really doesn't suggest to me that this is a beautiful landscape being forged into a industrial denizen of human existence. It looks like what it is, a pretty landscape with some pylons in the middle distance.
As for the technical side of things, I think you could do with some more contrast and clone out the sensor dust around the clouds in the middle of the sky.

The Text

The opening sentence suggests that slowly over time humanity is taking over nature, but this image really doesn't suggest any theme of time at all. There is nothing to show the advancement of the ages or their effect on the landscape. If it were a series of the same location being built up over say a decade or two then this might work, but it's not being suggested by a single image, especially when there is really very little human intervention going on. Again the point you are trying to make is being lost by the fact that the pylons really aren't a focal point.

In the second paragraph you need more than one image to constitute a 'body of work', so I would be interested in seeing some other examples. I would also argue that the photo doesn't support your final supposition which is that there are chilling consequences to human expansion. The pylons might be an eye-sore but that's all they are. There is no detrimental effect on the native wildlife nor is there any evidence of say global warming affecting the snow on top of the mountain. There's no dead fish in the lake and there is no evidence of the leaves falling from the trees.

The Language

(sorry about this but I feel that correct grammar and a few alterations would make your theme and aims a bit clearer).

I've made some changes within the quote below to show how I would re-write your introduction to the theme:

The image before you shows a beautiful landscape in which slowly over time, human existence has taken it toll on the land.
This body of work shows the human impact on this once innocent and unblemished landscape. Human society has a need for expansion, the land is taken away in every essence and the impact of this has chilling consequences.

I don't want to sound too critical but I tend to analyse every angle of a brief and it's solutions. I'm also a bit of a nit picker when it comes to language.

I hope my suggestions are useful.

*quick edit* seems Messiah and myself are on the same wavelength.
Baxi I think you need to make what you said in your reply to Messiah a bit clearer in the OP

Panzer

 

[baxi]

I'm not buying it just yet, sorry mate.

let me explain why:

The Image

As far as the composition goes it would be great if you were taking a photo of the lake with a mountainous background. However, the focal point of the image is supposed to be the pylons and they are getting lost. It really doesn't suggest to me that this is a beautiful landscape being forged into a industrial denizen of human existence. It looks like what it is, a pretty landscape with some pylons in the middle distance.
As for the technical side of things, I think you could do with some more contrast and clone out the sensor dust around the clouds in the middle of the sky.

The Text

The opening sentence suggests that slowly over time humanity is taking over nature, but this image really doesn't suggest any theme of time at all. There is nothing to show the advancement of the ages or their effect on the landscape. If it were a series of the same location being built up over say a decade or two then this might work, but it's not being suggested by a single image, especially when there is really very little human intervention going on. Again the point you are trying to make is being lost by the fact that the pylons really aren't a focal point.

In the second paragraph you need more than one image to constitute a 'body of work', so I would be interested in seeing some other examples. I would also argue that the photo doesn't support your final supposition which is that there are chilling consequences to human expansion. The pylons might be an eye-sore but that's all they are. There is no detrimental effect on the native wildlife nor is there any evidence of say global warming affecting the snow on top of the mountain. There's no dead fish in the lake and there is no evidence of the leaves falling from the trees.

The Language

(sorry about this but I feel that correct grammar and a few alterations would make your theme and aims a bit clearer).

I've made some changes within the quote below to show how I would re-write your introduction to the theme:

[/B]

I don't want to sound too critical but I tend to analyse every angle of a brief and it's solutions. I'm also a bit of a nit picker when it comes to language.

I hope my suggestions are useful.

*quick edit* seems Messiah and myself are on the same wavelength.
Baxi I think you need to make what you said in your reply to Messiah a bit clearer in the OP

Panzer

that is the best crit i have every had!!!!! wow

i am impressed!

as i say this is just one image of a big body of work and from the other images i have i will work as a body of work,i think.
being dyslexic i strugle alot with language and mythoughts down on paper, i never write what i think!lol so i can understand what your saying,thank you very much for your words

 

[baxi]

the image isn't a final edit and yes the image has problems with sensor dust! pain i know but the camera is goign back as the ccd is buggered

 

[apodo]

This image before you shows a beautiful landscape, slowly over time, human exsistance had taken it toll over the land.

Kind of repeating the above, but to me the image shows one instance of human existence marking its presence on the landscape. A single moment rather than being something over time, though one which has left a lasting mark. It is difficult to claim from that that it has taken a toll which I would say needs to be something more pervasive.

This body of work shows how a human impact on this once innocent and unblemished landscape. Human society has a need for existance, the land is taken away in every essence and the impact of this, has chilling conseqences.

Difficult to judge that statement without reference to the other images but (speaking as a philosophy graduate now) you have made a conclusion "chilling consequences" with no evidence of how the scenes you are illustrating lead to it.

Also I am not really sure what you mean by "in every essence" but to me it reads like you are saying that the existence of humankind by necessity takes away from the land (but takes away what?) and that this is what leads to the chilling consequences. The impression I get from all that is that you think the needs of humanity and the land are incompatible, and that it is a bad thing that humanity continues.

And being deliberately argumentative, if a bird builds a nest does that not also take away from the innocence of the landscape? Most people would say not and consider that part of the beauty of nature, but is it not just the æsthetic sensibilities of mankind that make such a distinction between one being natural and the other unnatural? And what makes humanity's need for existence any different to any other species' need to exist?

There is a lot of assumption and concepts being taken for granted which ideally need to be justified, or at the very least explained. But as a photographic essay it should be left to the pictures to tell the story. Personally I would go with something simpler as a caption and then let the pictures tell the story. For example:

"This body of work represents the growing influence of humanity on the landscape of our planet."

Michael.

 

[apodo]

One more thing, I think the photo works well with the concept if you take away the caption, which goes for the 'hard sell' and suggests something that is not really shown.

But I like the subtlety of the pylons hidden in the background. It does not force the point and suggests that this is just the beginning of mankind's intervention in the area. If followed up by other images that kind of provide a progression it would work really well.

Michael.

 

[baxi]

you lot are amazing!!!!!

idon't worry i have otehr images to back this context up, thank you for your coments Michael most appreciated