- Messages
- 16,680
- Name
- Ebenezer McScrooge III
- Edit My Images
- Yes
I woke up at home with a huge hangover you would not believe. I forced myself to open my eyes, and the first thing I see is a couple of aspirin next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
My clothes are laid out neatly in front of me, clean and pressed. I look round the room and see that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean.
I take the aspirins and then cringe when I see a huge black eye staring back at me in the bathroom mirror. I then notice a wee note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is in the oven, I left early to go shopping-- I Love You!"
I stagger to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot fried breakfast, sausages; eggs; beans; tomatoes; bacon with a cup of tea and the morning gossip sheet.
My son is at the table, eating.
I ask "Son...what on earth happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your head. You were singing.You woke everyone up. You broke some furniture, You smashed the wally dugs, You puked all over the lobby carpet, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and this amazing fried breakfast is on the table waiting for me???"
My son replies, "oooooOh THAT! Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your trousers off, you screamed,
"LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU F*****N' TART, I'M MARRIED!"
Broken furniture £250.50
Smashed Wally Dugs £500
Specialist Carpet Cleaners £100.75
Hot Breakfast £4.20
Red Rose bud £3.00
Two Aspirins £0.38
'A Woman's psychology' - Saying the right things, at the right time.........Priceless!
My clothes are laid out neatly in front of me, clean and pressed. I look round the room and see that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean.
I take the aspirins and then cringe when I see a huge black eye staring back at me in the bathroom mirror. I then notice a wee note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is in the oven, I left early to go shopping-- I Love You!"
I stagger to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot fried breakfast, sausages; eggs; beans; tomatoes; bacon with a cup of tea and the morning gossip sheet.
My son is at the table, eating.
I ask "Son...what on earth happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your head. You were singing.You woke everyone up. You broke some furniture, You smashed the wally dugs, You puked all over the lobby carpet, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and this amazing fried breakfast is on the table waiting for me???"
My son replies, "oooooOh THAT! Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your trousers off, you screamed,
"LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU F*****N' TART, I'M MARRIED!"
Broken furniture £250.50
Smashed Wally Dugs £500
Specialist Carpet Cleaners £100.75
Hot Breakfast £4.20
Red Rose bud £3.00
Two Aspirins £0.38
'A Woman's psychology' - Saying the right things, at the right time.........Priceless!
