That is the thing Steven, I want some pushed off the scale but not everything in the scene "in that area" would be demolished.
My exposure compensation, D3s today, has five stops compensation either way.
without adjusting speed, aperture, which I could well be on the limit of for holding and dof effect, exposure compensation just seemed easier.
I'm pretty sure you can't use exposure compensation in manual mode, because with everything fixed there is nothing available for the exposure compensation to adjust. Certainly nothing changes with my Nikons or my Fujis when I turn the exposure compensation dial in manual.
With manual shutter and aperture, but with Auto ISO, the exposure compensation adjusts the ISO. But it's less optimal to adjust ISO rather than shutter or aperture
With aperture priority auto, it adjusts the shutter speed, and with,
Shutter priority auto, it adjusts the aperture.
Personally, I would forget the exposure lock and the exposure compensation, and decide what is the most important; aperture or shutter speed, and just manually set them where they give the effect you are after.
As an aside, you can't really get a Zone 3 shadow in the wild; you can only get a zone 3 shadow in a final image.
ie you look at the tonal range in the subject and decide where you want a particular tone, within the subject to "fall", when it's printed.
When you point the spotmeter at the area you want to look like zone 6, 7 or 8, on the print, the meter is still telling you the exposure to give Zone 5 on the print.
So 1 stop more than the meter reading will give Zone 6 on the print, 2 stops more, will give zone 7 and 3 stops more, will give you zone 8.
You can also estimate what will happen to the brighter areas of the scene by measuring them with the spotmeter and seeing what zone they will fall into once you have added this extra exposure.
In practise, this is more complicated, not helped by Nikons being calibrated for a 12% grey and not 18%, but the concept of where tones will fall in the final image is still useful when thinking about exposure, even if digital sensors don't behave the same way as film.
Have you done the standard zone system tests to see how your different sensors respond to different levels of exposure e.g. pictures of white towel given a range of exposure, at a stop apart, across a full range of Zones (below zone zero and above zone 11) based on the meter reading, to see what happens to detail retention and tone.
It's also worth emphasising that the zone system was developed for b&w negative film, whereas digital behaves more like colour positive film.
As a rule of thumb, with negative films you expose for the shadows and let the highlights look after themselves; with digital and positive film, it's the other way round and you expose for the highlights and let the shadows look after themselves.
This is rather simplified, but just as the zone system is a useful concept when thinking about exposure, so are these basic concepts of the differences between exposing for film and digital.
With digital, I see exposure as a much more technical exercise than it was with film and have an "optimise data capture" approach. Although it's not ideal, as it's a JPEG based histogram, I use the histogram to give the maximum exposure that avoids blowing out important highlights. if I get it right, this gives me the maximum amount of data possible for processing.
As far as I am aware, only Phase One cameras offer Raw histograms in-camera.