Engineer Joke

[CT]

A doctor an architect and an engineer were on the golf course and found themselves waiting for a group of golfers before they could get onto the next tee. This group were extremely slow, constantly mis - hitting the ball and taking divots of turf with every swing. After half an hour waiting they called over a club official and angrily complained about the group holding them up.

The official explained that it was a group from the local blind institute on their annual golf outing. He apologized for the delay and said that if they wished, he would ask the group to stand aside so they could tee off.

The doctor was horrified " I feel thoroughly ashamed of myself now for complaining and I'm quite happy to wait - in fact when we get to the clubhouse I shall buy each and every one of them a drink"

The architect said " I don't mind how long we have to wait and I too shall buy each of them a drink at the clubhouse"

The engineer said "Why can't they play in the dark?"

 

[Gemok]

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail.

In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. Finally, at the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and said, "This is where your problem is." The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.

The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark $1; Knowing where to put it $49,999.

It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.

 

[Gemok]

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."

The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

 

[Gemok]

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."