Don't screw with me ;o)

[Cobra]

As some of you know, my profession is pest control / wildlife management.
Due to the "nature" of my job, some years ago I made a pact with myself, that
I wouldn't kill anything that I wasn't paid too.

It stayed dry long enough for me to get the grass cut today
I say long and yep it was bloody long too.
The mower "grounded" a few times, that weird, it doesn't usually do that :shrug:

Once I'd finished, it became apparent that I had been invaded by ants!
3 ant hills the size of dinner plates! b****r!

I was about to "renege" on "my pact", and liberally apply something like "Bendiocarb".
Then I thought, hang on, there is more than one way to skin a cat.

Lets get some methoprene (growth inhibitor) in there.

So here we have it then, hatched into a life of servitude, hunting and gathering,
working their little socks off,for the good of the colony.

As a few weeks pass, the the teenage years arrive.
The hormones start to rage.
They are now hoping to get laid for all the past hard work.

Uh Oh, can you just see the dissapointment of their little faces?
not being able to hit sexual maturity? I can

The moral of the story? you wanna screw? then don't screw with me

 

[frank]

Jeez! remind me not to pop into yours for a coffee

 

[Jon Chalk]

Could be worse - could have been a hedgehog - that was not pretty

I always check the grass now.

 

[Cobra]

Jeez! remind me not to pop into yours for a coffee

You'll be OK if you catch me on a good day

Could be worse - could have been a hedgehog - that was not pretty

I always check the grass now.

Toads make a bit of a mess too.

 

[Tenubracon]

The vast majority of the ants on a colony are infertile, only the queen and a few male drones get to mate. Best just to nuke 'em.

 

[Cobra]

The vast majority of the ants on a colony are infertile, only the queen and a few male drones get to mate. Best just to nuke 'em.

There is always one that has to dissect everything

I was being ironic, note my profession

 

[Toonie]

"3 ant hills the size of dinner plates!"

Only 3, I can send you a few more, I've got about 25-30 of them in my garden, It got so bad that i sold the petrol mower (Self propelled) as it kept stalling every time it struck one & now use a Strimmer. On the rare occasions that the sun shines, the tops of the nests go as hard as concrete, Brown ants = nasty little sods aint they.I mix Boric acid & sugar & tip a dollop around the nests every now & then(covered to stop other animals being poisoned) but it don't seem to make a lot of difference to them.

Toonie

 

[Tenubracon]

There is always one that has to dissect everything

I was being ironic, note my profession

I got some ant stop granules the other day to get rid of the ones in my garden. Is this stuff any good?

 

[Cobra]

"3 ant hills the size of dinner plates!"

Only 3, I can send you a few more, I've got about 25-30 of them in my garden, It got so bad that i sold the petrol mower (Self propelled) as it kept stalling every time it struck one & now use a Strimmer. On the rare occasions that the sun shines, the tops of the nests go as hard as concrete, Brown ants = nasty little sods aint they.I mix Boric acid & sugar & tip a dollop around the nests every now & then(covered to stop other animals being poisoned) but it don't seem to make a lot of difference to them.

Toonie

Tough little buggers aint they?
You do really need a good insecticide, with a cuticle softer and a growth
inhibitor.
But I don't think they are available on the "open market"
Best I can suggest is that you buy a few "fly swatts" given the fact that in about a month they will go "airborne" and start shagging.

Failing that get a good powered fan and blow them into your neighbours garden

 

[Cobra]

I got some ant stop granules the other day to get rid of the ones in my garden. Is this stuff any good?

Given the fact that "professional use" insecticides are about 100x stronger,
than anything you can buy over the counter, and the fact that I "struggle"
at times.
I wouldn't really hold out much hope TBH.
If they really are a problem the best bet is to call in a professional.

 

[Toonie]

Failing that get a good powered fan and blow them into your neighbours garden [/COLOR][/QUOTE]

He has the same problem, Someone told him to pour petrol into the nests,Which he did & then set them all alight,Didn't make a bit of difference but looked brilliant @ night with most of his garden of fire & him running around trying to put the flames out Lol

Toonie

 

[Cobra]

He has the same problem, Someone told him to pour petrol into the nests,Which he did & then set them all alight,Didn't make a bit of difference but looked brilliant @ night with most of his garden of fire & him running around trying to put the flames out Lol

Toonie

Some of these DIY pest solutions are good for a laugh aren't they?
Like pouring petrol on a wasps nest and setting light to it.
They re-act so fast, that you don't finish pouring before the attack squadron is
out and in "fighter formation"
Given the fact that there are over 5,000 wasps in a nest at the height of the season, your gonna get hurt

 

[big soft moose]

When I worked on a golf course we used to whack on a hose on one of the irrigation points then shove it down the wasps nests, jump on a bggy and gone before the little blighters could react

this worked great until the day that someone forgot to charge the buggy up the night before - cue two greenkeepers running down the fairway pursued by a squadron of p'd off wasps

 

[towershot]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RonVkZ1lXA

 

[Cobra]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RonVkZ1lXA

 

[Cobra]

When I worked on a golf course we used to whack on a hose on one of the irrigation points then shove it down the wasps nests, jump on a bggy and gone before the little blighters could react

this worked great until the day that someone forgot to charge the buggy up the night before - cue two greenkeepers running down the fairway pursued by a squadron of p'd off wasps

And they don't take prisoners either do they?
The best one is, when the "soldiers" in the nest come out and face you,
the ones that are out foraging, get called back by the Queen (Pheromone)
And you are stuck in the middle with no where to go

The biggest laugh I had in that respect, many years ago I worked with
a guy that was a total t***t.
He was called out to a nest, and couldn't find it (they are really easy to spot, when you know "how" to look)
Long story short, he was actually stood on the nest entrance,
a few went up his trouser leg, he got stung a dozen times, before he could get
his trousers off.... Couldn't happent to a nicer guy
I was a tenna guy moment when he was relating the story back to me.

 

[Deleted member 29733]

Sounds like the ants were having a ball Chris....

 

[Cobra]

Sounds like the ants were having a ball Chris....

Not for much longer
More fun than pulling their legs off, and quicker too

 

[Ian D J]

Actually, now you have come to mention it, I've had those too in my front lawn, blotches of bare soil dotted around the lawn - first time I've seen that happen in the thirty years of living in the same house.
Except these are are homes to red ants. However, I do cut the grass once a week all through the season and it's only lately that the grass seemed to have grown back over those bald patches - maybe the cold and wet weather had killed those red ants off?

 

[big soft moose]

And they don't take prisoners either do they?
The best one is, when the "soldiers" in the nest come out and face you,
the ones that are out foraging, get called back by the Queen (Pheromone)
And you are stuck in the middle with no where to go

Yes they are little sods, I remember a few years back (in you neck of the woods actually - little linford wood) we were doing dormouse nest box checks and I took the top off one only to find a wasps nest - I was down that ladder right quick , and me and my mate then shut ourselves in the truck thinking we were safe - then the little buggers started coming in through the air vents

cue rapid driving down crappy tracks with my colleague waging war on the ten or so that had made it into the cab - with a rolled up newspaper and a can of hairspray

we got clear eventually but not before i'd been stung on the head about four times , and my face swelled up til i looked like the elephant man :thumbsdown:

 

[Cobra]

Actually, now you have come to mention it, I've had those too in my front lawn, blotches of bare soil dotted around the lawn - first time I've seen that happen in the thirty years of living in the same house.
Except these are are homes to red ants. However, I do cut the grass once a week all through the season and it's only lately that the grass seemed to have grown back over those bald patches - maybe the cold and wet weather had killed those red ants off?

Most likely drowned, in all the rain Ian.
Although the nests are fairly water-proof, they is only so much rain they can handle.

The hot humid weather does (will) cause an "explosion" though.

 

[Ian D J]

Most likely drowned, in all the rain Ian.
Although the nests are fairly water-proof, they is only so much rain they can handle.

The hot humid weather does (will) cause an "explosion" though.

And when that happens . . .

 

[Cobra]

And when that happens . . .

Great as always Ian

 

[BarryDawsib]

Got them in my garden, and I aint as moral,,,,,,, CHEMICAL WAREFARE!!!!!!!!!!!

When they start nibbling at my cabbages and lettuces they ask for extermination...

On the other hand, your way of making them in to 12 year olds with the hormones of a sex depraved 18 year old?
And you think killing them is cruel?????

 

[Ian D J]

Great as always Ian

Now suddenly I feel all itchy!

 

[Cobra]

Got them in my garden, and I aint as moral,,,,,,, CHEMICAL WAREFARE!!!!!!!!!!!

When they start nibbling at my cabbages and lettuces they ask for extermination...

But they do some good too, by eating other insects and "milking" Aphids

On the other hand, your way of making them in to 12 year olds with the hormones of a sex depraved 18 year old?

yeah I know I'm a wicked bast..

And you think killing them is cruel?????

I didn't say it was cruel, I just said that I don't kill stuff any more, that
I'm not paid to

 

[Deleted member 29733]

But they do some good too, by eating other insects and "milking" Aphids

How do they get the buckets underneath them? :shrug:

 

[big soft moose]

In a parrallel universe

Due to the "nature" of my job, some years ago I made a pact with myself, that I wouldn't kill anyone that I wasn't paid to

I sit here modding this forum while waiting for the phone to ring, its been weeks since the last job and i'm getting that itchy feeling.

the phone rings , its my handler, Marcel - they've got a job, but don't worry it will just be business, not personal

The moral of the story? you wanna screw with TP? then you screw with me !

 

[Cobra]

How do they get the buckets underneath them? :shrug:

Dunno but they seem to manage it some how

 

[Cobra]

Due to the "nature" of my job, some years ago I made a pact with myself, that I wouldn't kill anyone that I wasn't paid to

I sit here modding this forum while waiting for the phone to ring, its been weeks since the last job and i'm getting that itchy feeling.

the phone rings , its my handler, Marcel - they've got a job, but don't worry it will just be business, not personal

The moral of the story? you wanna screw with TP? then you screw with me !

That's a lot closer to the truth than you will ever know

 

[ZoneV]

Well I know nothing about pest control but I imagine ants aren't what you need on a lawn you want to use.

This afternoon (to my displeasure) I helped some grey squirrels lose their race against lead. There are so many of them around at the moment, getting in the eves.

Two shots fired, two dead (both on the house's outer-wall, high up on the gable end. Iron sight, 1 second peek-a-boo around the corner).. :shrug:

Edit: C & C welcome.

 

[Cobra]

Well I know nothing about pest control but I imagine ants aren't what you need on a lawn you want to use.

I'm very proud of my lawn, its like a billiard table................................


Full of holes and no grass

This afternoon (to my displeasure) I helped some grey squirrels lose their race against lead. There are so many of them around at the moment, getting in the eves.

I'd check your loft, this time of year,
they are quite fond of using a roof space for nesting,
as in producing babies.

Edit: C & C welcome.

I like images 1-3 and 9

 

[TopBanana]

I didn't say it was cruel, I just said that I don't kill stuff any more, that
I'm not paid to

Why don't you slip yourself £20 of beer money? That way you've been paid so that you can kill them properly, and you get beer! Everyone's a winner

 

[nelly3164]

As some of you know, my profession is pest control / wildlife management.
Due to the "nature" of my job, some years ago I made a pact with myself, that
I wouldn't kill anything that I wasn't paid too.

It stayed dry long enough for me to get the grass cut today
I say long and yep it was bloody long too.
The mower "grounded" a few times, that weird, it doesn't usually do that :shrug:

Once I'd finished, it became apparent that I had been invaded by ants!
3 ant hills the size of dinner plates! b****r!

I was about to "renege" on "my pact", and liberally apply something like "Bendiocarb".
Then I thought, hang on, there is more than one way to skin a cat.

Lets get some methoprene (growth inhibitor) in there.

So here we have it then, hatched into a life of servitude, hunting and gathering,
working their little socks off,for the good of the colony.

As a few weeks pass, the the teenage years arrive.
The hormones start to rage.
They are now hoping to get laid for all the past hard work.

Uh Oh, can you just see the dissapointment of their little faces?
not being able to hit sexual maturity? I can

The moral of the story? you wanna screw? then don't screw with me

i hope to gods sake you dont have a daughter who wants to bring her boyfriend home !!!!!!

 

[BarryDawsib]

I didn't say it was cruel, I just said that I don't kill stuff any more, that
I'm not paid to

What would you recommend for seagulls? they tap dance on my roof :bonk:

 

[cowasaki]

What would you recommend for seagulls? they tap dance on my roof :bonk:

super glue

 

[Cobra]

i hope to gods sake you dont have a daughter who wants to bring her boyfriend home !!!!!!

What would you recommend for seagulls? they tap dance on my roof :bonk:

There is no easy solution That's why I seem to spend half my working life
flying birds of prey as deterrent birds.
Don't waste your money on "plastic owls" they are useless.

If its just one small area pigeon spikes may work, but unless you can cover all the area it generaly just moves the problem.
Netting is another possibility, but its expensive.

Ive never used the fire gel (same link) its a fairly new product on the market.

Some success may be had with (if you can get up there) hanging blank CD's
in pairs from a pole, so they move and catch the sunlight (when we get any again)
They look like a "flash of predator eyes"
Depending on the Species, they may or may not be protected.

Shoot a couple if possible and hang them up by one wing (that'll probably **** your neighbours off though.)

A "kite on a pole" may help, but all these things have to be above roof height
to be of any effect.

Failing that as Darren said a bucket of super glue

 

[ZoneV]

I'm very proud of my lawn, its like a billiard table................................

Full of holes and no grass

I'd check your loft, this time of year,
they are quite fond of using a roof space for nesting,
as in producing babies.


I like images 1-3 and 9

Re the loft - yes, thanks for that, I've been meaning to have a look up there for a week or two. I'll take the tennis raquet incase there's a leaper - squirrel squash in the loft.

 

[Cobra]

- squirrel squash -.

Try saying that when you have had a "couple"

 

[u8myufo]

But they do some good too, by eating other insects and "milking" Aphids

They Do! Do! Cobra. They Do! Do! Do!

yeah I know I'm a wicked bast.. [/COLOR]

No not at all Chris. More of a, gorgeous handsome man I'd say