Do You Think We British Are Rude?

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Ricardodaforce

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Hello everyone. I got used to living in a culture where people are friendly and not shy of chatting to strangers. On entering a shop, one would say good morning/afternoon to whoever you encountered in the store. I returned to the UK and just cannot get used to how cold and impolite people are. Every day I see this. I run a very large store, and on entering people will never say "good morning". I see them walk toward one of my team, and they literally act if she/he is not there, refusing to acknowledge them with a friendly hello unless contact is made with them, then a grudging response is issued. As an observer it seems incredibly rude to me. Why are people like this? Is this unfriendliness a Welsh trait or are people in the rest of the UK like this?
I can so see why the people of a certain European country call the British "gente fria" or cold people. Once people have made a decision to buy they seem to let their guard down and are more amiable. But why do you think we are so initially unfriendly?
 
I find its a mixed bag, I can go to one shop and get a warm greeting and go next door and literally get the price spat at me. i do t think there is much of a reason past how they were brought up
 
I think it depends to be fair

For the last nearly 10yes I've lived more rural, small villages, you say hello, good morning etc to everyone you meet, be it dog walkers, village shop or endless horse riders.

Go to town and it's completely different!

I think with shops and stores people assume that if they make eye contact then they'll get saddled with sales pitch so they avoid until 'they' decide..

Sad but true.
 
gavlar80 said:
I find its a mixed bag, I can go to one shop and get a warm greeting and go next door and literally get the price spat at me. i do t think there is much of a reason past how they were brought up
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Actually yes that's true.. Jobs previous, I loved chatting to customers, it's who I am but I get really cross/ disappointed to see so many are very miserable and it's a chore to serve you
 
Where do you live? I don't find that, often people exchange good mornings whilst I walk the dog.
 
As said above, it depends where you are, and what you are doing. I'm lucky enough to spend quite a bit of time in NW Scotland and there everywhere, everyone speaks. It would be almost unthinkable to pass anyone without acknowledging them.

Dave
 
I'd have to say no.
In general, I find most people to be very friendly, polite and approachable - although, I think a lot of it comes from yourself* too.
If you smile, say 'hello' and are generally pleasant it tends to be reciprocated.

* That's 'yourself' in the general sense BTW not you personally! ;)

I think a shop is a slightly false environment to form an opinion from though and there are lots of exceptional circumstances that could lead to what you observe.

> Is this specifically from around Christmas time, where people are likely to be stressed, harried and have other things on their mind?
> Or the other side of that coin, are staff stressed out, harrassed and not looking particularly welcoming?
> Or more generally (and I'm not asking you for specifics about where you work) there are some large retailers who have a reputation for pushy salespeople who pounce on you as soon as you enter and jump into a sales pitch.
Right or wrong, that's a lot of people's perception of them and the general rule of "Don't make eye contact" seems to have evolved :lol:
 
There's an old tale about this situation - basically, friendly people usually get treated in a friendly manner, less friendly folks less so...
 
Cg_Girl said:
Actually yes that's true.. Jobs previous, I loved chatting to customers, it's who I am but I get really cross/ disappointed to see so many are very miserable and it's a chore to serve you
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I love my job and although don't interact with the public as part of it, i class anyone I deal with as an internal customer. If either myself or one of the guys I manage was in anyway rude and provided poor service I would be very upset. Unfortunately this isn't everyone's mindset and to some, they are just there for the money.
 
I live in a village, where practically everyone says hello to you, and all the shp staff are friendly and helpful.
When I lived up North, I found the people more open and friendly than down South though.
Nobody in London seems to speak to each other, but then again the people in Paris are like that too.
 
No, it's not a welsh trait and I get very bored with people complaining about going into pubs and the drinkers start talking Welsh. Get over it!

I've worked abroad and travelled quite a bit. On the whole the British are not as rude as other nationalities - the young and the old of any nationality are the same wherever you go. Youngsters with no manners bred by parents who should've been neutered at birth, not taught the difference between right and wrong and the elderly who seem to have have a huge chip on one shoulder. Same everywhere.

My observations that other nationalities are on the whole generally courteous in their own environment. In Germany I found the natives quite formal and polite, but had the inability to say thank you. Customers are never right .

People tend to get rude once they put on their travelling shoes. Either they go on holidays or get in their car, or a train or bus, and it's as if their one brain cell has been left at home. Manners is a rare commodity at Heathrow, no wonder security guards are inhospitable.

So it's not a national thing in my opinion
 
SarahLee said:
I'd have to say no.
In general, I find most people to be very friendly, polite and approachable - although, I think a lot of it comes from yourself* too.
If you smile, say 'hello' and are generally pleasant it tends to be reciprocated.
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That's just because you're so damn attractive!

If you were ugly...

I find that walking in the hills and Highlands people are always friendly.
Change that to walking on Arthur's Seat (in the middle of Edinburgh) and most people just pass you by.

I'm weird and make a point of noting peoples badges and talking to them by name (in supermarkets/shops/restaurants etc) just to make them think that I actually know them :)

[but I've never been to Wales :eek:]
 
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Ricardodaforce said:
Hello everyone. I got used to living in a culture where people are friendly and not shy of chatting to strangers. On entering a shop, one would say good morning/afternoon to whoever you encountered in the store. I returned to the UK and just cannot get used to how cold and impolite people are. Every day I see this. I run a very large store, and on entering people will never say "good morning". I see them walk toward one of my team, and they literally act if she/he is not there, refusing to acknowledge them with a friendly hello unless contact is made with them, then a grudging response is issued. As an observer it seems incredibly rude to me. Why are people like this? Is this unfriendliness a Welsh trait or are people in the rest of the UK like this?
I can so see why the people of a certain European country call the British "gente fria" or cold people. Once people have made a decision to buy they seem to let their guard down and are more amiable. But why do you think we are so initially unfriendly?
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Yes I do think the British are generally very rude. There is so much focus on calling people rude who don't say their pleases and thank you. Yet to me saying it out of habit is more rude than not saying it habitual at all. When you say it mean it.

People don't display a sense of curteousness either. When driving that is especially very clear.

And then there is the swearing. That really annoys me, find it very rude and as it serves no purpose I find it quite sad as well.

Whilst I do acknowledge people, speak often to strangers (yup I am that guy on public transport) and people generally greet as well I do still find them rude.

I think it is because it is such a cultural melting pot, and people realise that you don't have to behave in a certain way because others expect you to do so. Yet often that seems to be mistaken for being rude.

To me it seems many people in Britain actually find it hard to act as an individual and by themselves.

Just an observation from Johny Foreigner. However it doesn't frustrate me, it actually makes me smile to see so many characters. Just cut out on be swearing please for f***s sake.
 
Rude arrogant t***s are certainly the majority, however there are plenty who are far too cheery and talk way more than is appropriate.
 
I don't think we are rude as a rule, but it depends on what you are comparing to. Overall we are quite reserved as a nation, stiff upper lip and all that. Maybe that comes across as rudeness? On my recent trip to Koln I found some people fine (generally the younger ones) but many older people seemed a bit cold, but that is a Germanic trait. 10 years ago my boss was Finnish and he was a lovely guy but came across very cold, abrupt, and often rude, but thats just the way he was. The further south you go in europe the more friendlier and less rude people appear.
 
Being a ex Londoner now living up North I find the people up here are generally friendlier
 
dejongj said:
And then there is the swearing. That really annoys me, find it very rude and as it serves no purpose I find it quite sad as well.
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This is unfortunately very noticeable in the UK, particularly in public, in shops, on public transport. There are many people who cannot speak without using swearing as a form of punctuation, and it does seem to be a very "British" thing.
If it happened in France, Italy or Germany, then I would notice it, simply because I wouldn't be able to understand them.
 
Hmmm... While I do swear, IME, our continental cousins do so much, much more than us. The place we stay in on Crete has a fairly broad selection of European guests, from Finnish down to Italian, taking in most of the countries on the way. Almost without exception, they pepper their conversation (in English, used as the lingua franca round the bar) with expletives as well as swearing in their own languages. I should add that we, in our early 50s, are at the younger end of the age range who stay there.
 
Nod said:
with expletives as well as swearing in their own languages.
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Its been said a few times that the English have the best swear words,
( the best swear words are English) :thumbs:
 
What I find a bit odd is that my Irish SIL is perfectly happy to pepper her conversations with "[PLEASE DON'T TRY TO BYPASS THE SWEAR FILTER]" and "fecking" and other derivitives, but will have a right wobble if anyone (usually English) says "F**K"! :rolleyes:
 
I think people confuse being reserved with being rude. I think it is a British trait (especially down south) to be reserved to the point of blanking strangers but if there is a need to communicate they are (generally) polite. Exceptions to all rules of course.....

actually, thinking about it, I think it could be considered rude (by a reserved british southerner) to try to talk to everyone you see in the street when they are just trying to mind their own business and get on with things that don't concern you. ;)
 
Yes. My wife lives in SW Scotland, and people are extremely rude. Not my favourite place at all.
 
Nod said:
There's an old tale about this situation - basically, friendly people usually get treated in a friendly manner, less friendly folks less so...
Click to expand...

I think you missed my point. What I said was that I was used to a friendly culture where on entering a shop, you greeted the person that you saw there. Here on entering my shop, people literally act if we are not there, refusing to acknowledge us with a friendly hello. We always say "good morning/afternoon" followed by "Welcome to etc" at which point a grudging acknowledgement is received. There is a huge difference in friendliness between the Spanish and the Welsh. I base my opinion on my personal experience. What I was wondering is, why are we like this?
 
"What do you mean "we"?" Personally, I greet shop staff when I encounter them and meet their eye. I don't make a point of approaching them specifically to do so though.
 
Ricardodaforce said:
There is a huge difference in friendliness between the Spanish and the Welsh.
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but I don't think this is really true. I have been to fair few countries and met a few fair different nationalities. I am struggling to remember any that are much different when you get to know them.
Agreed the spanish (actually all latin countries?) are more open to strangers and the welsh aren't know for their outgoing nature but I've been ignored on the subway in barcelona when I needed some help and chatted to by some locals is a welsh local when I was on my own.
Another example is the Finns. They make the british seem positively extrovert but are actually very friendly and hospitable when there is a reason to be!

What is more important, someone who says hello without thinking about it or someone who doesn't speak until spoken too but will then give real consideration to what you say and how you feel?
 
I have often thought there is a correlation between friendliness and density of population. I think there must be that but where the British 'reserve' (at home) comes from is probably more complex but has that at it's heart maybe. British citizens are often less 'reserved' when abroad it seems!
 
Ricardodaforce said:
I think you missed my point. What I said was that I was used to a friendly culture where on entering a shop, you greeted the person that you saw there. Here on entering my shop, people literally act if we are not there, refusing to acknowledge us with a friendly hello. We always say "good morning/afternoon" followed by "Welcome to etc" at which point a grudging acknowledgement is received. There is a huge difference in friendliness between the Spanish and the Welsh. I base my opinion on my personal experience. What I was wondering is, why are we like this?
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I get that. The "British" seem to have an uncomfortable relationship in consumer commerce. Many extremes and very little middle ground. Well in my perception anyway.
 
brman said:
What is more important, someone who says hello without thinking about it or someone who doesn't speak until spoken too but will then give real consideration to what you say and how you feel?
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Completely agree with this.
 
Byker28i said:
Where do you live? I don't find that, often people exchange good mornings whilst I walk the dog.
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I always exchange good mornings when walking the dogs, I don't always get one in return though.
 
Do You Think We some British people Are Rude?

Yes!
Why?
Society has chosen this over other ways to live because generally this way requires nothing of them as human beings, just live your life the way you want too! Its a dog eat dog world - so I am told so many times...so why would anyone have to act any other way? "wots init for me"? I hear them say.
 
There must be two lots of people called British. I don't recognise the ones you describe Bill.
 
boyfalldown said:
b*****ks!!!! :)
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R vs Virgin

b*****ks is not a swear word ;)

Richard Branson said:
The Nottingham police took us to court for advertising Never Mind The b*****ks in our record store window. They argued ‘b*****ks’ was a derivative of ‘testicles’.

Records_%20Sex_Pistols.jpg


I contacted linguistics professor at Nottingham University, who put them straight. “What a load of rubbish,” he said. “b*****ks has nothing to do with balls.” On the contrary, it was a nickname given to priests in the 18th century. The professor turned out to also be a priest and appeared as our expert witness in court – complete with his dog collar. The case was thrown out.
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http://www.virgin.com/richard-branson/never-mind-the-b*****ks-were-still-being-censored
 
simon ess said:
There must be two lots of people called British. I don't recognise the ones you describe Bill.
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None of the people I associate with are like this:)...so there are at least two sets of people then;)...the set I know and the rest! although I am sure there are plenty of other people who are polite and well mannered ......I was generalising about society in general. of course!
 
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IIRC, spelling it with a o as the first vowel is a relatively recent corruption, the original spelling being bAllo*** and meaning small balls. Again IIRC, it was also deemed not to be unpariliamentary after an MP used it in the HoC and was named for it (but my memory isn't what it used to be!)
 
I think the weather here has a lot to do with it, it p***es down most of the time and that makes you feel miserable, yet when i'm abroad in nice weather i'm like a new man :)
 
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