Do my talents have no end?

Mike Jackson

Mike Jackson

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I just mended our telly.

The sound had stopped working. Regardless of which buttons she pressed SWMBO couldn't get the sound to work. Using my immense technical knowledge I stepped in and turned it off and back on again. Voila we have sound again.
 
Our work IT contractor, and no word of a lie, when you phone them with a fault the first thing they suggest is "turn it off-on".

Ok ok.....so they actually say "have you closed down all applications and restarted the machine"
Same difference to me and thats what we pay IT contractors millions of pounds for!!!!! :cuckoo:
 
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Haha it's like the standard answer they give on The IT Crowd when someone calls - "Hello, IT. Have you tried switching it off and on again?" :lol:
 
The on off usually reset configuration so this works on most small issues, however if you tried this and it doesn't work it usually means there is a major config error that can't be reset, or a broken component. However all this said I would keep an eye on the sound as this usually indicates a lose wire etc, turning it on off maybe moved it slightly so it reconnected, but my guess is it will be temporary. The best cure is text 888 this way at least you can read what's happening :D
 
stupar said:
Our work IT contractor, and no word of a lie, when you phone them with a fault the first thing they suggest is "turn it off-on".

Ok ok.....so they actually say "have you closed down all applications and restarted the machine"
Same difference to me and thats what we pay IT contractors millions of pounds for!!!!! :cuckoo:
Click to expand...

And speaking as an It professional that will solve well over 50% of all calls
 
.....and some of them forget to plug them in in the first place!! :lol:
 
Go on admit it M8 someone had accidently hit the mute sound button on the remote!!!
 
SarahLee said:
Is it wrong of me to be disappointed that it wasn't really broken?
I would have loved to have seen one of your head-shots inside a broken TV :lol: ;)
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I'm keeping my eyes open for a broken one. I narrowly missed one on freecycle the other day.
 
The oither thing that often (inexplicably) works is good, old fashionned IT (Impact Technology) otherwise known as giving the appliance a clout on the side. Whether the knock dislodges the spider who's shorted something or there's something more technical, I don't know but it often works, especially on older kit!
 
Mike Jackson said:
I just mended our telly.

The sound had stopped working. Regardless of which buttons she pressed SWMBO couldn't get the sound to work. Using my immense technical knowledge I stepped in and turned it off and back on again. Voila we have sound again.
Click to expand...

I bet it wasn't 'ON' and what you ACTUALLY did was turn it on.
 
DemiLion said:
.....and some of them forget to plug them in in the first place!! :lol:
Click to expand...

there's a report of a Microsoft technician being sacked for calling the customer an ''complete f888888ing idiot'

when, after going through extensive tests conducted by one-to-one on a mobile phone...

the MS techo asked for the serial number on the back of the PC

''idiot'' said ...cannot see it

MS Techo................why not..?:shrug:
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..because all the lights have gone OFF
 
Can you come round and fix the sound on my wife, it seems to be stuck on moaning
 
I have in the past driven from Manchester to Carlisle to a shop where the till was not working after a powercut.

I rang the shop first....

When asked " did you try switching it on I was replied to with scorn, of course I have do you think I'm stupid "

My reply " Can I have your name for my records "

" yes it's Mrs ****** "

Drives 140 miles, walked in the shop and told them who I was and I was here to look at the till.

Pressed blue on button on the front and hey presto, magic man fixes till.

Asks for Mrs ********

says " I'm Chris I rang you this morning regards your till "

Reply comes " Hi have you fixed it, what was wrong "

Reply from me " It was switched off, did you press the button on the front "

Reply comes " No why "

Reply from me " Because it's the ON button, do you remember me asking if you tried switching it on and what your reply was "

Mrs RED FACE says " yes and doen't that make me look stupid "

" No comment " I say " Just sign here thats just cost you about £350 in time and fuel "

Walks out of shop with large daft grin on fce.
 
IT support: 10% knowledge, 15% guesswork, 25% flipping off the customer, 50% "have you turned it off and on yet"
 
That much knowledge?
 
Is the technical phrase not 'Remedial Hardware action'? :)
 
trencheel303 said:
IT support: 10% knowledge, 15% guesswork, 25% flipping off the customer, 50% "have you turned it off and on yet"
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Sigh - every user thinks they're an expert, which is usually what causes the problems in the first place. Only when it's completely unusable after about 2 days of them fiddling about do they finally give up and expect you to fix it in 10 mins.
 
True story, I once worked in a local pc shop, selling to the public.

We had a phone call from a customer complaining the pc was making a terrible screeching sound.

Me: "Is that the noise I hear in the background?"
Customer: "Yes that's it"
Me: "I've not heard that before. I guess it could be a faulty fan but it sounds really unusual. Can you bring it in for us to look at"
Customer: "Yes - no problem - oh...hang on I've fixed it..."

Noise has stopped.
Me: "Well done what was it."

Customer: "............I'd put the chair leg on the tail of the cat"
 
CaptainPenguin said:
And speaking as an It professional that will solve well over 50% of all calls
Click to expand...

DemiLion said:
.....and some of them forget to plug them in in the first place!! :lol:
Click to expand...

"Have you tried rebooting it" is my polite way of asking, did you remember to turn it on (the stuff I deal with is a little more complex than a desktop PC, and I reckon possibly 5% of 'problems' could be down to this). It also helps to rectify any 'extra configuration' the admin staff may have preformed.


neil_g said:
i have a big stick under my desk.. we call it the "training stick"
Click to expand...

Cattle-prod

It is for deeper learning, and is remembered for longer:bat::bat::bat:
 
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I have three remotes for various AV kit, that way it puts the misses off fiddling because she can't fathom which remote is for which, routing the TV through the playstation has finished her off!! the power of control!
 
The best is when a user calls up and say's I cannot do this that or the other. You suggest a reboot and it works!
Stupid user's....
 
Nod said:
The oither thing that often (inexplicably) works is good, old fashionned IT (Impact Technology) otherwise known as giving the appliance a clout on the side. Whether the knock dislodges the spider who's shorted something or there's something more technical, I don't know but it often works, especially on older kit!
Click to expand...


We used to refer to that as Percussive Maintenance :)
 
an instructor on a course had a good bit of terminology..

when a computer magically fixes itself in the amount of time between getting a call and going and seeing the user..

"techie proximity syndrome"

:lol:
 
gazedd said:
The best is when a user calls up and say's I cannot do this that or the other. You suggest a reboot and it works!
Stupid user's....
Click to expand...

I don't mind having to suggest it, what really winds me up is when they say "oh but I don't think that will work" and it does. I've been mightily tempted to tell them I'll give them a heads up when the next vacancy comes around, but the boss sits not 6 feet away from me.
 
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