Divorce not fun..

It's not going to help here, but the only way I see is a very carefully drafted PRE-WEDDING CONTRACT. There is no way in hell I want to get drawn in this considering I am still single.
 
daugirdas said:
It's not going to help here, but the only way I see is a very carefully drafted PRE-WEDDING CONTRACT. There is no way in hell I want to get drawn in this considering I am still single.
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I don't believe a contract like this is legally enforceable in UK Law ;)
 
MWHCVT said:
I don't believe a contract like this is legally enforceable in UK Law ;)
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Might not be determined under English law as part of a marriage but would be as a business contract.

S
 
MWHCVT said:
I don't believe a contract like this is legally enforceable in UK Law ;)
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"if you aint no punk holler , we want prenup, we want prenup... its something that you need to have, cos when she leaves she's gonna leave with half"

you are right of course - under UK law although its perfectly possible to have a prenup it would just be redetermined in the divorce court - Kanye is in the states where the law is a bit different
 
Hugh Jarse said:
Might not be determined under English law as part of a marriage but would be as a business contract.

good luck with that, when exactly would you bring it up, before or after it got serious

if I'd suggested to my wife we sign a business contract I'd have been single pretty quick
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on first date :lol:
 
First date or engagement getting things in order saves pain later on. Especially given the divorce rate!

Also a good idea for those who do not get married! ;-)

Steve
 
thing is though the marriage is a contract itself - so if someone didn't keep their word when they promised 'to be faithful , always' why should you expect that they'd keep their word about who gets what if it all goes south
 
big soft moose said:
thing is though the marriage is a contract itself - so if someone didn't keep their word when they promised 'to be faithful , always' why should you expect that they'd keep their word about who gets what if it all goes south
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Done it twice and all stable now and was when first one fell over.

But as you say, marriage is a contract and needs a court ruling to shut it down.

Steve
 
Hugh Jarse said:
First date or engagement getting things in order saves pain later on. Especially given the divorce rate!

Also a good idea for those who do not get married! ;-)

Steve
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Exactly - if they say no to FAIR contract is it a clear indication things are about to go unfair one day. Particularly when marriage no longer means life long commitment but rather an expensive celebration every few years and some business to us and then lawyers :bang: Why bother getting married at all? (funny that I am Christian, etc...)
 
daugirdas said:
Exactly - if they say no to FAIR contract is it a clear indication things are about to go unfair one day. Particularly when marriage no longer means life long commitment but rather an expensive celebration every few years and some business to us and then lawyers :bang: Why bother getting married at all? (funny that I am Christian, etc...)
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The "Till Death Do Us Part" bit may be long gone

i saw a Tee Shirt a while back.

It showed a picture of a tearful woman and the words "When they said till death do us part, I didn't think it would last this long"

Sums one current view up I suppose.

Steve
 
Ironically I would have been married for 8 years today, that's of course if my ex-wife hadn't developed a hip/leg problem that made it difficult for her to keep her knees together for anyone but me :lol:

Going on what Steve said above...... as we were splitting up I, "harvested" some evidence from her laptop. There was a conversation with one of her friends and she said "Mum said I needed to think about the vows I made and that I shouldn't have married him if he wasn't who/what I really wanted".

Obviously she was more sold on the idea of the big church wedding and being a "princess" for a day than what she was doing and who she was doing it with ;)
 
Russ77 said:
Ironically I would have been married for 8 years today, that's of course if my ex-wife hadn't developed a hip/leg problem that made it difficult for her to keep her knees together for anyone but me :lol:

Going on what Steve said above...... as we were splitting up I, "harvested" some evidence from her laptop. There was a conversation with one of her friends and she said "Mum said I needed to think about the vows I made and that I shouldn't have married him if he wasn't who/what I really wanted".

Obviously she was more sold on the idea of the big church wedding and being a "princess" for a day than what she was doing and who she was doing it with ;)
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Russ

As a stroke of stoicism, things may have been worse, you couldd still be married to her! So you got out wiser and maybe a bit broke but hoprfully with dignity.

I am as secure as I can be right now but I have a hidden block of cash as a war chest should things go "tits up" and all joint assets are listed and unreachable by either one of us alone and in the case of death of one of us there is a proxy fall back so the joint estate stays just that until properly disdolved legally.

May seem heavy handed but "once bitten twice shy"

I have seen frirnds utterly destroyed through divorce. Cannot happen to me, and thats not wishful thinking. Lawyers costs are peanuts if you get it right when you form a partnership as opposed to the cash and emotional bomb a divorce can wreak.

Am I bitter? No just prepared. Continuity and Contingency planning.

Ladies the advice covers you too.

If you Fail to Plan, You Plan to Fail.

And if all goes well ... you both wil have a nice pot to enjoy your retirement

Steve
 
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Hugh Jarse said:
Russ

As a stroke of stoicism, things may have been worse, you couldd still be married to her! So you got out wiser and maybe a bit broke but hoprfully with dignity.

I am as secure as I can be right now but I have a hidden block of cash as a war chest should things go "tits up" and all joint assets are listed and unreachable by either one of us alone and in the case of death of one of us there is a proxy fall back so the joint estate stays just that until properly disdolved legally.

May seem heavy handed but "once bitten twice shy"

I have seen frirnds utterly destroyed through divorce. Cannot happen to me, and thats not wishful thinking. Lawyers costs are peanuts if you get it right when you form a partnership as opposed to the cash and emotional bomb a divorce can wreak.

Am I bitter? No just prepared. Continuity and Contingency planning.

Ladies the advice covers you too.

If you Fail to Plan, You Plan to Fail.

And if all goes well ... you both wil have a nice pot to enjoy your retirement

Steve
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Quite agree Steve.

When we separated she had some redundancy money left over (not masses, probably just shy of £15K but she always referred to it as "her" money) so I dropped in that not only could I go for my fair share, because I was earning considerably less than her I would possibly be able to have up to 60% of it (according to my solicitor, although she tried to stitch me up too).

What was more valuable though was the look on her face when I said "but don't panic, I don't want your money, I just want you out of my life as quickly and easily as possible" :lol:

I'm so much better off with her out of my life, in every single way possible!

Being philosophical, I believe that this is something I needed to go through to make me a better/stronger/different person.
 
If it helps anyone reading this thread who is suffering any form of split up or divorce pains I was divorced after being married for six years. So I know how much it really does hurt - but it does get better I promise. Five years later I met a beautiful girl and we've been together for 32 years, married for 25 of them and blessed with a wonderful daughter and have had a great life of ups and downs, triumphs and disasters. Onwards and upwards, mon braves, and don't let the *******s get you down !
 
Mag1cp2x said:
If it helps anyone reading this thread who is suffering any form of split up or divorce pains I was divorced after being married for six years. So I know how much it really does hurt - but it does get better I promise. Five years later I met a beautiful girl and we've been together for 32 years, married for 25 of them and blessed with a wonderful daughter and have had a great life of ups and downs, triumphs and disasters. Onwards and upwards, mon braves, and don't let the *******s get you down !
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Almost word for word apart from having 2 children I can second that

We're going through the wringer at the moment as she's been I'll for the last 4 months but next year is going to be better

It's never too late to start again
 
I hope that anyone that is in this situation will come out of it brighter and better. Mine is getting worse day by day with the Girlfriend and daughter causing problems the daughter being the worse but we will all get there
 
With marriage both sides have to put a lot of work into it to be successful. Every marriage has its ups and downs but with a firm basis to fall back on marriage can and does succeed. The word commitment doesn't mean we have a problem lets throw the towel in, you have to work through what is causing the rift
 
I understand that but when one decides that they don't want to it is very hard for the other to keep going.
 
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