There will likely be little performance difference between diesel and petrol in real world terms. Petrol will be quicker off the line but a similar sized turbo diesel engine will leave the petrol engine powered car behind on overtaking manoeuvres. When you put your foot down in a petrol, it will use up the fuel a lot quicker than the diesel will.
DPF's are on Euro5 emission diesel cars most were introduced in 2007, very few had them before that. A lot of DPF's can be eliminated by a simple remap.
I have a Mondeo ST TDCi 153bhp as standard it has returned 55-60 mpg on a mixture of A roads, B roads, and motorway. It now has a few engine modifications with remap and produces 190 bhp, it feels more like a petrol engine to drive but still returns 53 to 58mpg, it would probably return more. but I like to give it some.

The engine doesn't clatter neither and it's just coming up for 100k miles. The petrol equivalent the ST220 is still quicker off the line, but not when accelerating from say 3rd gear or above. But at best the ST220 will only return about 24mpg and if you drive it hard, it is possible to get it down into single figures. This is more of a "performance" model comparison but still relates to smaller less powerful engine cars.
I've driven 1.6 TDCi versions of the Ford Fusion and previous style Fiesta which would have been pre DPF models and again they were very responsive at overtaking, especially on motorways or A roads.
Diesels are likely to be lower insurance groups also.
Your best bet would be to test drive similar models in petrol and diesel variants to see how you like them. Can't say I've ever noticed diesel engine cars being less economical when used around town, than the petrol engined equivalent.
I had my dual mass flywheel and clutch replaced at 90k, but that was only because I killed the slave cylinder which in turn leaked onto the clutch, the flywheel didn't need replacing at that time, but as the clutch and slave cylinder was being done, it made sense to save on labour when it would need doing and have it done at the same time. If I hadn't killed the slave cylinder, I'd have got many more thousands of miles out of the flywheel. A workmate had his flywheel replaced on his Mondeo at over 180k miles.