Daughters (teenage) AGHHHHHHH....

Mrs Cowasaki said:
Oops, I just killed a thread dead!!!
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No you havent:). I'm glad to hear you have such a good relationship with your offspring. Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs but also one of the most important and rewarding.

My sons have both grown up into lovely men. It wasnt easy, especially as their Dad died when they were 13 and 16 and I'm sure I made mistakes. I think the most important thing with teenagers is that they know that you love them, despite not liking them sometimes. My sons, now in their thirties, remember me saying that.I also told them that my rules on what they could do and when they had to be home etc were because I loved them. And that, if all the other parents let their friends do differently then maybe that was because they didnt care so much about them.
 
ladysue said:
No you havent:). I'm glad to hear you have such a good relationship with your offspring. Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs but also one of the most important and rewarding.

My sons have both grown up into lovely men. It wasnt easy, especially as their Dad died when they were 13 and 16 and I'm sure I made mistakes. I think the most important thing with teenagers is that they know that you love them, despite not liking them sometimes. My sons, now in their thirties, remember me saying that.I also told them that my rules on what they could do and when they had to be home etc were because I loved them. And that, if all the other parents let their friends do differently then maybe that was because they didnt care so much about them.
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Thanks Sue. Sorry to hear you lost your children's father - that can't have been easy.

You're right, that is the most important thing - that they know you love them.
 
Arkady said:
This reminds me of a colleague I worked with a while back - he's an ex-Para with two extremely gorgeous daughters. He frequently told them in no uncertain terms (but in jest) that if either of them ever brought a boyfrind home, he'd kill them on the doorstep... with this guy you never knew quite when he was joking or not.

Well the time eventually came to pass that a boyfriend came to call on the eldest daughter and Kev just happened to open the door. The lad just stammered for a bit, then looking at Kev (who hadn't said a word and was fully prepared to invite him in for a beer and a 'chat' about 'intentions' etc), suddenly turned and bolted!
Kev said later he was totally surprised, but the opportunity was too good to pass up, so he chased him for half a mile down the road...
Daughter #1 didn't speak to him for a week by all accounts and the poor lad never came back...
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I thought I'd comment from the other side.

A long time ago I started seeing a girl I met in the students Union while at University. When it came to meeting her family it was a nice affair, cup of tea some food and TV for the evening. The next time I was invited to a family function. I was at the finger buffet table and out of nowhere comes her uncle (I hadn't met him yet) and he says to me "You must be xxx's new boyfriend", all smiles. I said yes and introduced myself properly. After shaking my hand he kept a firm grip and came in close to my ear and told me in no uncertain terms that if I ever hurt her in anyway he'd break both my legs. Then walked off. I said nothing of this to her and kept it to myself for fear of reprisal.

It eventually got more serious and of course I started to stay the night after nights out. She'd sneak me in around 1am. We'd perfected it, sneaking past her parents bedroom door became second nature. This all came crashing to an end when I mistimed my departure and after leaping through her bedroom window began walking down the driveway.

The drive way runs past her living room window which is basically a full height window. I got to the window and walked past and just as I was immediately in front of the window her father opens the curtains. Cup of tea in hand dressed in one of the most questionable dressing gowns I've ever seen. He looks out the window, sees me and freezes. I freeze. He then points at me and shouts through the window and I start laughing. (I laugh at news of deaths, funerals, bad news etc instead of crying. It's a strange reaction that I've never been able to control). I leg it to my car and drive off.

From that night on I wasn't allowed in her bedroom for long periods of time and when we came back from nights out I had to say hello to the folks regardless of whether they were in bed or not.
 
KayJay said:
I thought I'd comment from the other side.

A long time ago I started seeing a girl I met in the students Union while at University. When it came to meeting her family it was a nice affair, cup of tea some food and TV for the evening. The next time I was invited to a family function. I was at the finger buffet table and out of nowhere comes her uncle (I hadn't met him yet) and he says to me "You must be xxx's new boyfriend", all smiles. I said yes and introduced myself properly. After shaking my hand he kept a firm grip and came in close to my ear and told me in no uncertain terms that if I ever hurt her in anyway he'd break both my legs. Then walked off. I said nothing of this to her and kept it to myself for fear of reprisal.

It eventually got more serious and of course I started to stay the night after nights out. She'd sneak me in around 1am. We'd perfected it, sneaking past her parents bedroom door became second nature. This all came crashing to an end when I mistimed my departure and after leaping through her bedroom window began walking down the driveway.

The drive way runs past her living room window which is basically a full height window. I got to the window and walked past and just as I was immediately in front of the window her father opens the curtains. Cup of tea in hand dressed in one of the most questionable dressing gowns I've ever seen. He looks out the window, sees me and freezes. I freeze. He then points at me and shouts through the window and I start laughing. (I laugh at news of deaths, funerals, bad news etc instead of crying. It's a strange reaction that I've never been able to control). I leg it to my car and drive off.

From that night on I wasn't allowed in her bedroom for long periods of time and when we came back from nights out I had to say hello to the folks regardless of whether they were in bed or not.
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christ on a bike, the girl must have been 18+ if you were at uni, had they planned to keep her locked away until she was what 30? i honestly dont understand why people are like that, it doesnt make any sense at all to me, they think that they are in some way protecting thier daughter when infact they pretty much force them to have to lie, cheat and sneak around just to carry on doing what adults naturally do (its almost as if they want to force them to be 10 for the rest of their lives!)
 
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whitewash said:
christ on a bike, the girl must have been 18+ if you were at uni, had they planned to keep her locked away until she was what 30? i honestly dont understand why people are like that, it doesnt make any sense at all to me, they think that they are in some way protecting thier daughter when infact they pretty much force them to have to lie, cheat and sneak around just to carry on doing what adults naturally do (its almost as if they want to force them to be 10 for the rest of their lives!)
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Precisely! I can't understand it either. Adults are going to have sex, no matter how strict the parents are - it's natural and legal, so why do parents persist on trying to ban it? It causes more problems than it avoids. It's an extremely naive view to take on parenting. I don't go in for all this "not under my roof" crap.

To the person who experienced this, at least the uncle didn't carry out his threat - and the parents didn't completely ban you from seeing your girlfriend.
 
Don't get me wrong, her parents were marvelous to me. I really enjoyed seeing them, but somethings they didn't approve of.
 
whitewash said:
christ on a bike, the girl must have been 18+ if you were at uni, had they planned to keep her locked away until she was what 30? i honestly dont understand why people are like that, it doesnt make any sense at all to me, they think that they are in some way protecting thier daughter when infact they pretty much force them to have to lie, cheat and sneak around just to carry on doing what adults naturally do (its almost as if they want to force them to be 10 for the rest of their lives!)
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When I was 19, I went out with a girl who was 17, after going out together for almost a year we went on holiday to Wales together (She was then 18), it was a holiday home where you had to supply your own bed linen. Her Mum went nuts when the girl asked for linen for a double bed.:cuckoo: She was willing to allow us to go on holiday together, did she really think we'd not sleep together? My Mum came up with the bed linen instead.:thumbs:
The girl was also on the pill mainly to help control painfull periods, she had to attend hospitals and clinics for smear tests and the like, quite regularly and her mum always told her to make sure she told the nurses/doctors "exactly" why she was on the pill.
After a few months of falling asleep together on her parents sofa after nights out, I got to stay in the spare room, then eventually her mum relented and allowed us to sleep together in my girlfriends bed. Mind you I think the only reason they wanted the spare room and sofa free was because, her mum and dad would have a row and her dad would end up sleeping on the sofa or in the spare room for a week or more until they started talking again.:lol:
 
Viper said:
my mum took a different approach...

whenever i told her to f off... she just returned the favour and told me to do the same :D

end result being its all a joke now :D
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Yes, the kids and I do that as well. Only I usually say it first as a joke to lighten the mood and they go from strop to giggles in an instant.

It's a bit like the parent in the shop having a tantrum - totally unexpected!

Anything to break the stereotypical parental roles usually works a treat.
 
Marcel said:
This is so ironic that it's on-topic, it almost hurts.
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Mrs Cowasaki said:
Ha ha, yes - I hadn't thought of that, but you're SO right! :D
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:D :lol: :D :thumbs:

I don't want to dredge that particular one up again but Mrs C, I'm glad that you're not letting it get to you.
I have to say that your approach to parenting teenagers is :thumbs:
I just wish my mum had been similar when I was that age.

RogWarham said:
Apologies to anyone in South Wales for inflicting said Stroppy One on your region - then again I had better apologaise as well for you having to put up with the mother-in-law and her tribe...
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Well whatever they've been up to I haven't heard word of any scandals in the local papers . . .
and just give me a second while I poke my head out of the back door . . . Nope . . . Can't hear any screaming or shouting . . .

I'd say that you can take that as a sign that all's going well ;)
 
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SarahLee said:
:D :lol: :D :thumbs:

I don't want to dredge that particular one up again but Mrs C, I'm glad that you're not letting it get to you.
I have to say that your approach to parenting teenagers is :thumbs:
I just wish my mum had been similar when I was that age.
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Thanks SarahLee. It makes the whole teenage journey far more bearable. They're a good bunch and I love having them around. I'll miss them when they all go back to school, college and uni.
 
Mrs Cowasaki said:
Yes, the kids and I do that as well. Only I usually say it first as a joke to lighten the mood and they go from strop to giggles in an instant.

It's a bit like the parent in the shop having a tantrum - totally unexpected!

Anything to break the stereotypical parental roles usually works a treat.
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yeah :D

me and my mum purposefully argue in shops just to see how other people react. LOL!

people usually look shocked at how i speak to her.. then they hear her reply. :lol::lol::lol:
 
Viper said:
yeah :D

me and my mum purposefully argue in shops just to see how other people react. LOL!

people usually look shocked at how i speak to her.. then they hear her reply. :lol::lol::lol:
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I like your style Viper! :thumbs:
 
My daughter used to call her uncle "Dad" in Morrisons all the time(with alittle promting from me) when he was about 18, she would have been about 4.
 
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