Beginner Constructive Feedback

[Yashica FX3]

https://flic.kr/p/2minnow

View: https://www.flickr.com/photos/193701014@N02/51392377638/in/dateposted-public/


Any constructive criticism on this abstract image would be welcome.
Also, please let me know if the link doesn't work.
Thanks.

 

[Harlequin565]

It's a tidy composition, but it's not interesting to me.

The title on Flickr says "Verdigris" and if that's your subject I'd consider getting in a bit closer because for me, the subject is a big pool with some fountains in the background. There are odd bits of detritus on the left and distracting shadows on the right. Abstract for me means having to spend a sec trying to figure out what it is but this appears pretty obvious.

When I see something that catches my eye I will try and think about why it caught my eye, then frame my composition around that. In this instance, with an apparent foot wetting scenario on the horizon, I'd be looking to use a zoom to get in a bit closer and frame out the pool and as much of the brickwork as I could. The surroundings give it a lot of context which is the opposite of what I would expect from an abstract image.

Of course I'm assuming that's the subject because of the title, so please ignore me if you had a different idea in mind. I always find it difficult to give feedback if I don't know what the photographer intended.

Hope that helps. As I said, I think it's a very neat & tidy composition that appeals to my tidy-ness but it doesn't do much for me as is.

 

[Yashica FX3]

It's a tidy composition, but it's not interesting to me.

The title on Flickr says "Verdigris" and if that's your subject I'd consider getting in a bit closer because for me, the subject is a big pool with some fountains in the background. There are odd bits of detritus on the left and distracting shadows on the right. Abstract for me means having to spend a sec trying to figure out what it is but this appears pretty obvious.

When I see something that catches my eye I will try and think about why it caught my eye, then frame my composition around that. In this instance, with an apparent foot wetting scenario on the horizon, I'd be looking to use a zoom to get in a bit closer and frame out the pool and as much of the brickwork as I could. The surroundings give it a lot of context which is the opposite of what I would expect from an abstract image.

Of course I'm assuming that's the subject because of the title, so please ignore me if you had a different idea in mind. I always find it difficult to give feedback if I don't know what the photographer intended.

Hope that helps. As I said, I think it's a very neat & tidy composition that appeals to my tidy-ness but it doesn't do much for me as is.

I actually agree with you. Below is the version I posted n Instagram

 

[FlyPhot]

I have to agree with Harlequin - this is what I would call an abstract (taken from your image), but it is a personal thing and you may well hate this one

 

[Harlequin565]

I actually agree with you

Have faith in your instinct.

Much much better IMO. Possibly suffering a bit from the level of crop but IMO works much better.

 

[Krisstiffer]

Meaning this in a constructive way...... The original shot has “too much” for it to work as an abstract and not really enough context for it to be an involving image.
Agree with the cropping approach to concentrate on some of the shapes in the image to support the abstract approach. For making it more involving then a wider shot with more context might work.

 

[Yashica FX3]

Meaning this in a constructive way...... The original shot has “too much” for it to work as an abstract and not really enough context for it to be an involving image.
Agree with the cropping approach to concentrate on some of the shapes in the image to support the abstract approach. For making it more involving then a wider shot with more context might work.

Thanks for the helpful comments.

 

[Mauri3205]

I actually agree with you. Below is the version I posted n Instagram

Definitely prefer this. There is more screen real estate dedicated to the contrasting maroon and grey colours, the water marks on the wall and the water outlet/hole.

In comparison the original is too zoomed out for my liking and fully dominated by a single colour and area of interest vs the more intimate and varied crop.

 

[droj]

The original framing works to a degree, in that it shows something of the context. Over-abstraction can easily have a boring result, context being lost.

All photographs are an abstraction of some kind, by virtue of them having a viewpoint & a frame, but your Instagram version and Jims alternative have lost the context rather, and aren't really very interesting to look at, more than for a fleeting glimpse. But ok, Instagram is geared to a short attention span ....

What the original has is that the framing is symmetrical left-right, but the light isn't - that introduces a productive tension & provokes engagement.

If you'd thought of it, you might have also explored other viewpoints, perhaps oblique ones, and maybe used a larger stop & differential focus too, because such things can make an image more three-dimensional and engaging. Out of focus areas, and things only partly in-shot, can introduce a hint of mystery to tantalise the viewer.

 

[Yashica FX3]

The original framing works to a degree, in that it shows something of the context. Over-abstraction can easily have a boring result, context being lost.

All photographs are an abstraction of some kind, by virtue of them having a viewpoint & a frame, but your Instagram version and Jims alternative have lost the context rather, and aren't really very interesting to look at, more than for a fleeting glimpse. But ok, Instagram is geared to a short attention span ....

What the original has is that the framing is symmetrical left-right, but the light isn't - that introduces a productive tension & provokes engagement.

If you'd thought of it, you might have also explored other viewpoints, perhaps oblique ones, and maybe used a larger stop & differential focus too, because such things can make an image more three-dimensional and engaging. Out of focus areas, and things only partly in-shot, can introduce a hint of mystery to tantalise the viewer.

Thank you for such objective, constructive and thought provoking feedback.
Much appreciated.