Cold callers- new approach

Nod

Nod

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As soon as I know it's a cold caller, I launch into
"Hello, welcome to the manual relief line.
This is a premium service and you have been charged £5 as a connection fee with a further charge of £1.38 per minute or part thereof."
By this time, a human has probably hung up so I haven't needed to start asking what the caller is wearing and whether they want me to strip for them and autodialers seem to give up as soon as they hear a voice.
 
Makes my approach of just hanging up seem a bit dull!

There is a danger somebody will enjoy this and call you again.
 
I sell cavity wall insulation so when they call me I ask them if they have it fitted in their home as it could be saving them money by this point if they are still there I move in with the hard sell .....I never here from them again.. Amen
 
Most cold callers do not pay for their phone calls so would not be too worried about racking up a large bill for their employer. In fact most call centres probably treat their staff quite badly so it could actually encourage them. ;)
 
As soon as I know it is a cold caller which does not take that long, I interrupt explaining I am Detective Inspector blah blah investigating the suspicious circumstances surrounding the fatality of Mr Venn (Me). I will go on to ask for their name and details as at the moment all people are being treated as suspects. They dont hang around for long :D
 
Nod!!!! NOOOOOOOO why put that picture in my head?????? cold callers are not that bad that they need to get that much punishment.. (mind you they don't know you) lol :P
 
Up to 5 times a week ,we get people calling and asking for a Karen Joyce,we tell them no one of that name lives here.
It has been going on for a couple of years now.
They even rung from the school saying Her daughter was ill.
We explained the circumstances and didn't get any more calls from them.

They ask whom we are and we say "thats non of you're business"
They now ring from numbers BT say cannot be blocked.
We are just going to tell them to hold the line as there call is important to us ,
and go for a walk........:bang:
 
I always say hang on let me get a pen, then put the phone on the table and see how long they stay on the line. LOL
 
u8myufo said:
As soon as I know it is a cold caller which does not take that long, I interrupt explaining I am Detective Inspector blah blah investigating the suspicious circumstances surrounding the fatality of Mr Venn (Me). I will go on to ask for their name and details as at the moment all people are being treated as suspects. They dont hang around for long :D
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Now I've got to try this one lol
 
As this subject pops up from time to time its only fair that I should air this too
A great way to deal with "cold callers" ;)

[YOUTUBE]-7OgWcwgB50&feature[/YOUTUBE]
 
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u8myufo said:
As soon as I know it is a cold caller which does not take that long, I interrupt explaining I am Detective Inspector blah blah investigating the suspicious circumstances surrounding the fatality of Mr Venn (Me). I will go on to ask for their name and details as at the moment all people are being treated as suspects. They dont hang around for long :D
Click to expand...


That was actually done either by phonejacker or similar - the .wav file is all over the interweb


Edit: I think the pink one above got there ahead of me..............
 
Before going ex directory I had a number of these over consecutive evenings. So was prepared when the phone rang once again at the right time for it to be a cold caller.

I answered "Hello"
"Hello. Is that Mr S#######"
"No" I replied "we haven't got a phone"

There was a two or three second silence whilst they tried to work out what I had just said, then an apology, and the call ended.
 
Ragwort said:
Before going ex directory I had a number of these over consecutive evenings. So was prepared when the phone rang once again at the right time for it to be a cold caller.

I answered "Hello"
"Hello. Is that Mr S#######"
"No" I replied "we haven't got a phone"

There was a two or three second silence whilst they tried to work out what I had just said, then an apology, and the call ended.
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That's my favourite :thumbs:

I don't get many cold calls. Just mistaken ones as some bozo has advertised my number as the number of a business. Can't get it out of the directories as I can't find the real business number! I just let the answering machine answer if I don't recognise the number. Gets rid of 99% of them.
 
I just use the telephony preference service, to my own surprise it does actually work.
 
I used to get them all the time, asking for a Mr.Singh...

"Can I speak to Mr.Singh please."
"Nope."
"Excuse me...may I ask why?"
"Because this is not Mr.Singhs number...as I have told you numerous times...now can you please take this number off your call list?"
"I'm sorry I can't do that sir as number are randomly generated..."
"The number is randomly generated yet you know exactly who you want to speak to? How does that work?"
".......click"

Never bothered me again.

My favourite one involved someone trying to sell me a conservatory, to which I listened and replied to questions with enthusiasm for around 10 minutes (I had nothing better to do)....
"..so would you be interested in us sending someone to your property to give you an estimate?"
"..as much as i'd like a conservatory, I don't really think that's necessary"
"..may I ask why sir?" (with a hint of desperation in his voice)
"because I live in a 1st floor flat mate...."
"(mumble).....click"
 
Brilliant :) I like the flat one....Sometimes it is fun to have a little fun when you have the time isn't it...
 
towershot said:
We are just going to tell them to hold the line as there call is important to us ,
and go for a walk........:bang:
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Twenty minutes is my record for this.. telling them I just need to get something out the oven, could they wait 30 second.. flick the TV to the German news, put the receiver next to it and get back to the ironing/reading/surfing. After 20 minutes one caller was still there :cuckoo:
 
Where I used to work, we used to often get cold callers trying to sell us business solutions, like new workshops, vending machines etc.

Shop was quiet one day, so I spent near 2 hours on the phone to one cold caller, using their website for reference, to "place" an order for a new workshop, fitted and with new tools. The price was quite high, in excess of £30k I believe when we totted it up after.

Oh you should of heard the disappointment and upset in the guys voice when he asked for payment and I told him that I thought it was going to be free trial thing like vending machines etc.

My manager couldnt stop howling with laughter.

I also got a water cooler for my bedroom for about a month, had the company collect it at the end of the free trial saying that I didnt like the taste of the water.
 
Alastair said:
Twenty minutes is my record for this.. telling them I just need to get something out the oven, could they wait 30 second.. flick the TV to the German news, put the receiver next to it and get back to the ironing/reading/surfing. After 20 minutes one caller was still there :cuckoo:
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Hmmm! good idea, now let me see,instead of German news use heavy metal band :p After 20 mins they won't be there.....:naughty:
 
If the person that the caller asks for is female, this response is worth trying:-

"I'm sorry, but _____ has just gone upstairs with a client. Could you call back in half an hour".

For any sales call:-
after leading them on for as long as possoble.
"I had better go now. My carer doesn't like me talking to strange people".

Peter
 
A lady I used to work with who was shall we say, somewhat eccentric, used to keep an old PE whistle by the phone. If it was a cold caller she'd blow it full belt into the handset...
 
i had a company call me at work today (why he picked my random desk in Norwich I have no idea) - trying to get the whole of NFU Mutual to switch supplier....:cuckoo::cuckoo:

"Are you happy with your electricity?"
"Ecstatic, it's there when i need it, and it goes away when i don't need it. It's very reliable and does an excellent job of making cold water hot for my morning cup of tea."
"When is your contract up for renewal?"
"Haven't got a scooby. Does it get dark at night where you are?"
"I'm sorry. What's a scooby?"
attempting best scooby doo impression "wh wh... i dunnooo..."

for the listening pleasure of my colleagues I put him on speakerphone....

We carried on for about 5 minutes with me asking him even more random pointless questions (not on speakerphone) just to get him off script and then I rapidly grew bored of him.

Not 100% convinced he appreciated the fact that we generate our own from the methane created by the herd of dairy cattle that live in the basement car park.... :shrug:
 
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We registered with TPS years ago & we don,t get any problem calls.:):thumbs:
 
jockwav said:
We registered with TPS years ago & we don,t get any problem calls.:):thumbs:
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I registered us in late November, and it does indeed actually work. Used to get about 8 calls a day, now none :) Takes about 30 days to kick in properly...
 
joescrivens said:
"put the keyboard into your AAAAAAASSSSSS"

:lol::lol:
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Then indignantly " you are wasting my time" er.......... yup :lol:
That was quite good, hope he makes up with the wife, there's not many good door to door pin sellers around :lol:
 
This sounds like fun. Is it possible to deregister from TPS as we don't get these calls?
 
I had a recent caller (even though I am ex-directory) from a company offering to fit new facias and guttering. Not having much to do at that very moment, I said I was moving house soon and asked many questions, getting as technical as I could regarding the fitting, the quality of the poduct and how stable it is under extremes of heat (the sun), and of course, the cold weather. After about 10 minutes he was very happy when I gave him an address for his rep to call to give a quote. However, his voice tailed off as he wrote down the last line of the address, this being 'New South Wales, Australia'. I said "Yes, we're emigrating, is that a problem? click.......

By the way, we're not emigrating, but it was fun to hear him :)
 
Dave1 said:
Anyone want a read of some very funny exchanges should have a read of a (long) thread over on MSE forum. It's mainly a debt collection agency chasing a person without cause, and how he gets back at them.


http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=741653
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he he.... read this earlier... I just had the crappy outbound insurance call from somewhere about 5.5 hours East of here....

17 mins attempting (and failing) to get me through the DPA... I played the deaf card..... speak up... guy was literally shouting at me....
 
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