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Well Friday is upon us agin & a new month is nearly here.
There have been a few "young pretenders" posting recently
Trying to nick poor old Cobra's ( TFI friday) crown
Here's a couple for your purusal, I hope they come up to standard
John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.
One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.
It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school.
Tommy was over 2 hours late.
'Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?' asked John.
'Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project,' said Tommy.
The robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.
'Son,' said John, 'this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school.'
'We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie.' said Tommy. 'What did you watch?' asked Marsha.
'The Ten Commandments.' answered Tommy.
The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair once more.
With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, 'I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen.'
'I am ashamed of you son,' said John. 'When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.'
The robot then walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.
Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, 'Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!'
With that the robot immediately walked around to Marsha and slapped her.
...................................................................................................
The madam opened the brothel door in Austin and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
'May I help you sir?" she asked.
'I want to see Valerie,' the man replied.
'Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else', said the madam.
'No, I must see Valerie,' he replied.
Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.
After an hour, the man calmly left.The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.
Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive. But there were no discounts.
The price was still $5000.
Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.
After an hour, he left.The following night the man was there yet again.
Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie said to the man,
'No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?'.
The man replied, ' Odessa '.
'Really', she said. 'I have family in Odessa .
''I know.' the man said. 'Your sister died, I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.
'The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain.
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer
There have been a few "young pretenders" posting recently
Trying to nick poor old Cobra's ( TFI friday) crown
Here's a couple for your purusal, I hope they come up to standard
John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.
One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.
It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school.
Tommy was over 2 hours late.
'Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?' asked John.
'Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project,' said Tommy.
The robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.
'Son,' said John, 'this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school.'
'We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie.' said Tommy. 'What did you watch?' asked Marsha.
'The Ten Commandments.' answered Tommy.
The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair once more.
With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, 'I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen.'
'I am ashamed of you son,' said John. 'When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.'
The robot then walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.
Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, 'Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!'
With that the robot immediately walked around to Marsha and slapped her.
...................................................................................................
The madam opened the brothel door in Austin and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
'May I help you sir?" she asked.
'I want to see Valerie,' the man replied.
'Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else', said the madam.
'No, I must see Valerie,' he replied.
Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.
After an hour, the man calmly left.The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.
Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive. But there were no discounts.
The price was still $5000.
Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.
After an hour, he left.The following night the man was there yet again.
Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie said to the man,
'No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?'.
The man replied, ' Odessa '.
'Really', she said. 'I have family in Odessa .
''I know.' the man said. 'Your sister died, I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.
'The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain.
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer
... 
... must be the thought of those dastardly crown seekers ... 
