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As the Americans are celebrating Independance day
I thought it only fair that we should celebrate P.O.E.T.S day
P'ss Off Early Tomorrows Saturday)
Anyhow on to the main feature for today
Here's a slight variation on a theme you may or may not have heard this one
A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the
wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the
biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go
up there, find the owner, apologise, and see how much your lousy drive is
going to cost us.'
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.
A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass
was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side
near the broken window.
A large dark-skinned man reclining on the couch asked,
'Are you the people that broke my window?'
'Uh..yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied.
'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm
a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now
that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you
each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself.'
'Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out,
'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'
'No problem,' said the genie. 'You've got it, it's the least I can do. And
I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life! And now you, young lady, what do
you want?' the genie asked.
'I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country
in the world,' she said.
'Consider it done, 'the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe
from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'
'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'What's your wish, genie?'
'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a
woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife!'
The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both
now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right.
Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about
you honey?'
'You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. 'I'd do the same for you!'
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of
the afternoon enjoying each other.
The genie was insatiable.
After about
three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly
into her eyes and asked, 'How old are you and your husband?'
'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.
'No Kidding.' he said, 'Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?'
..........................................................................
German guy approaches a prostitute and says ' I vish to buy sex vit you'
'OK' says the girl, 'I'll charge 100 quid an hour'
'Is goot' says the German, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky'
'No problem' she replies cautiously, 'I can do a little kinky'
So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.
'I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs.'
The girl finds this very strange, but complies, fastening the springs to her hands and knees.
'Now you vill get on your hans and knees.'
She duly does this, balancing on the springs.
'You vill please blow zis vistle as I make love to you.'
She finds all this very odd, but figures it's harmless, and after all
the guy is paying. The sex is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room
by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller. The climax
is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it is several
minutes before she has recovered her breath.
Finally she gasps 'That was totally amazing....... what do you call that?'
'Ah', says the German,
'Four-sprung duck technique'
I thought it only fair that we should celebrate P.O.E.T.S day
P'ss Off Early Tomorrows Saturday)
Anyhow on to the main feature for today
Here's a slight variation on a theme you may or may not have heard this one
A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the
wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the
biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go
up there, find the owner, apologise, and see how much your lousy drive is
going to cost us.'
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.
A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass
was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side
near the broken window.
A large dark-skinned man reclining on the couch asked,
'Are you the people that broke my window?'
'Uh..yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied.
'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm
a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now
that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you
each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself.'
'Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out,
'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'
'No problem,' said the genie. 'You've got it, it's the least I can do. And
I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life! And now you, young lady, what do
you want?' the genie asked.
'I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country
in the world,' she said.
'Consider it done, 'the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe
from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'
'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'What's your wish, genie?'
'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a
woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife!'
The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both
now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right.
Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about
you honey?'
'You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. 'I'd do the same for you!'
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of
the afternoon enjoying each other.
The genie was insatiable.
After about
three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly
into her eyes and asked, 'How old are you and your husband?'
'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.
'No Kidding.' he said, 'Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?'
..........................................................................
German guy approaches a prostitute and says ' I vish to buy sex vit you'
'OK' says the girl, 'I'll charge 100 quid an hour'
'Is goot' says the German, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky'
'No problem' she replies cautiously, 'I can do a little kinky'
So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.
'I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs.'
The girl finds this very strange, but complies, fastening the springs to her hands and knees.
'Now you vill get on your hans and knees.'
She duly does this, balancing on the springs.
'You vill please blow zis vistle as I make love to you.'
She finds all this very odd, but figures it's harmless, and after all
the guy is paying. The sex is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room
by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller. The climax
is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it is several
minutes before she has recovered her breath.
Finally she gasps 'That was totally amazing....... what do you call that?'
'Ah', says the German,
'Four-sprung duck technique'
