Tim, thank you for such an excellent reply, very informative indeed, its appreciated

I wouldnt have dreamed of ETTR to the degree you have shown, I can see now how much to try for and understand your reasoning.
Can I just be sure I understood you with your settings please. Under the conditions you mentioned, you set EC to +3 first, and then meter the scene in the normal way and select the appropriate settings. You prefer manual metering, but I would assume this method would work equally well in Av or Tv.
Thank you again for taking the time to give such a detailed reply.
Trev
I leave the exposure mode set to Manual and I twiddle my exposure controls until the meter shows +3 when spot metering from the brightest part of the scene. I do not use autoexposure for this technique and therefore I do not use EC either. Also, for the precise control I seek I stick with manual exposure so the settings don't drift as the subject or scene changes slightly. I never understand why people would first meter in an autoexposure mode, and then transfer the exposure values into manual settings. Why not just set the manual exposure in the first place? Setting EC at +3 is no different to setting a manual exposure with the meter needle at +3. The end result is the same, but setting the exposure directly in manual mode is faster and less prone to error. Another attraction of setting the exposure manually is that many cameras don't offer EC values above +2, so how can you get to +3 in an autoexposure mode? You can't. With manual exposure on a +/-2 camera you first meter at +2, manually, and then simply increase the exposure by 1 stop above that.
Think of this example - you have a Lancaster bomber approaching. At first it is quite small in the viewfinder and doesn't have much impact on the exposure readings. As it gets closer it becomes larger and larger until it pretty much fills the frame. With autoexposure the exposure would keep changing as the plane grew and grew within the frame. I don't want that to happen. The exposure should remain constant not matter how small or large the plane. Once I set the exposure I want it to stay there. That's why I shoot manual exposure most of the time. I can change my composition and my exposure setting remains unaltered. That makes my life easier and my results more predictable.
It's the same thing as I track a bird in flight. The bird may fly past different backgrounds, maybe all sky, maybe all woodland, maybe some water, maybe a bit of each. Once I have my exposure set I do not want it to keep changing as I pan across the scene. So long as the lighting on the bird and the scene as a whole remains constant then that's how I'd like my exposure - constant.
Note, there is a bit more to doing doing all this. Often the approach I have described to ETTR exposure is as simple as I have described, but different scenes do sometime require different techniques. This might include scenes where there really are no highlights, such as a black dog running across a field of grass, with no sky within the frame. Then I think there is no need to chase the histogram all the way to the right. You just need to avoid underexposing the image. The real goal of all this is to never need to brighten a photo. Making it darker is OK. Having it leave the camera just perfect is OK too. Having it underexposed is (almost) never a good idea.
Here's an example where I have shot a little bright in order to capture full detail in the dog. The histogram does not touch the right hand edge and I don't care. My capture is bright enough that I don't need to brighten it further. This is exposed to the right, but not all the way to the right, if that makes sense....
Another example where highlight metering does not work is where you do have important highlights, but the subject is (or highlights are) too small to meter from reliably, even with spot metering. Here again one needs to resort to different tactics to set the exposure. Here's one such image....
Here the brightest parts of the swan are too small to meter. However, seeing the type of light hitting the swan I ignored the rest of the scene and set a manual exposure equivalent to a "Sunny 16" exposure. I didn't know for sure that I'd get the exposure spot on but reference to the histogram confirmed that I nailed it in one. If I'd needed to make a small adjustment that would be no problem. I can only imagine that trying to shoot this scene with autoexposure would be a right old faff and a case of repeated trial and error, with figures changing every time the composition changed just a little.