Burial Plots

[Gremlin]

You may remember my sister died a few weeks back.
Brother in Law wants the ashes buried in the same grave as my Dad.

Bit of history here
One of my Dad's sisters died young, my Grandmother is also buried in the same plot.
When my Grandad died we found that the grave had never been bought by the family
so although there was room, it had to be purchased before the burial, which it was.
When my Dad died his ashes were also put in the grave and a small headstone with just
his name erected.

My mother who I assume will now own the plot is in a home apparently suffering from advanced
dementia, she also it seems ask my BIL why my deceased sister doesn't visit, when he pops in
to give her [pocket money, which apparently there is some arrangement that he manages for her
but no Power of Attorney in force.

Seems it would be quite an easy thing for both my other sister and myself as next of kin to give
permission in her stead, which I am happy to do.

Now comes the problem, my damn sister is not happy to have a 2nd stone placed on the grave
with Liz's name and later my BIL when his ashes are put there, why because it will make it harder
to maintain. FFS I'm sure my BIL will look after the grave as he lives nearby, and she only visits
once a year anyway

Why oh why do families have to so bloody minded, neither of us have any wish to be added to
the plot so what does it matter

 

[dejongj]

I would have thought it is easier to maintain when they are next to each other. Very odd, can you think of another reason?

 

[Gremlin]

I would have thought it is easier to maintain when they are next to each other. Very odd, can you think of another reason?

On same plot, one standing and one just a plaque lying flat.
Bloody mindedness ?
Because she can ? ................... who knows

 

[viv1969]

Additional names added to the existing stone maybe?

 

[chivers67]

Sorry for your loss.

yeah, new headstone or a stone mason might be able to add to an existing one. It's far easier to visit and pay your respect to the area. I think you brother in law is being very thoughtful about the whole issue if you ask me, he obviously is thinking it is the right resting place for your sister. Families members are very odd best to discuss it in person really so no crossed wires.

 

[Gremlin]

Sorry for your loss.

yeah, new headstone or a stone mason might be able to add to an existing one. It's far easier to visit and pay your respect to the area. I think you brother in law is being very thoughtful about the whole issue if you ask me, he obviously is thinking it is the right resting place for your sister. Families members are very odd best to discuss it in person really so no crossed wires.

Existing stone only has room for my mother.
Brother in law is doing well, no problems for me with what he wants to do,
probably what my sister wanted.
l have spoken with my sister to keep her up to date, this was her response
for whatever reason.

 

[DorsetDude]

If you're sister can't actually stop this being done I'd say the BIL should go ahead as:
1] sounds like he's doing the right/wanted thing
2] the awkward sister is effectively outvoted 3-1

for the sake of one persons nose (who only visits once a year) being ever-so-slightly put out, its a no brainer.

 

[Gremlin]

Not quite, it's one against one as far as next if kin goes.