Bullies (or rather cowards)

gumbo-67

gumbo-67

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Terri
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I hate them.. After being in school many mnay years ago and being a target of a bully i have always detested them.

Today at work I was having a coffee in the cutomer cafe minding my own, when a youth (for the want of a better word) about 17/18 years old walked over to another lad about 13 years old slapped him hard across is face and then proceeded to grab his head and batter it off the wall.

I did stop it and i did give the younger one my contact details in case he needed them. he was rather worried about leaving and going back to school but didn't want me to get anyone for him.

The one good thing is it was all caught on camera and the school is being contacted.

I am still rather cross i didn't do more.
 
My 12 year old is going through this at the moment & has done on and off for the last 14 months... As a parent is a nightmare to deal with as he doesn't want us involved.

I despise those that think it is hard and clever to pick on a someone for no other reason than kicks! What makes it worse is that many of the kids involved with my son I know personally and it takes every ounce of strength to not take it into my own hands.

Well done for intervening as has been said, many folk wouldn't and would turn a blind eye... Credit to you!
 
boyfalldown said:
I suspect you did an awful lot more then many would have
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Spiderdudeuk said:
My 12 year old is going through this at the moment & has done on and off for the last 14 months... As a parent is a nightmare to deal with as he doesn't want us involved.

I despise those that think it is hard and clever to pick on a someone for no other reason than kicks! What makes it worse is that many of the kids involved with my son I know personally and it takes every ounce of strength to not take it into my own hands.

Well done for intervening as has been said, many folk wouldn't and would turn a blind eye... Credit to you!
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The young ld was seated at the time and the coward waited until he was had i been faster maybe his head wouldn't have hit the brick wall. the lad was crying and his friends were being nice too him but the coward had all his big coward friends laughing.. doubt he will be laughing now.. Well i hope not

Nothing is worse weather it is words or Physical harm both can hurt someone just as much. Mark i hope your Son i soon free from this and as hard as it is for you and him i really do think it is time for you to say NOPE no more. Inbox me if you would like me to tell you how i handled my daughter time at the hand of the coward.
 
gumbo-67 said:
I hate them.. After being in school many mnay years ago and being a target of a bully i have always detested them.

Today at work I was having a coffee in the cutomer cafe minding my own, when a youth (for the want of a better word) about 17/18 years old walked over to another lad about 13 years old slapped him hard across is face and then proceeded to grab his head and batter it off the wall.

I did stop it and i did give the younger one my contact details in case he needed them. he was rather worried about leaving and going back to school but didn't want me to get anyone for him.

The one good thing is it was all caught on camera and the school is being contacted.

I am still rather cross i didn't do more.
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My pet project too....

After 4 years in secondary school of constant bullying from day 1. I knew a dozen ways home, so I didnt get it at the gate. It was difficult at times but it all came to a stop when the I was in a science class, we were using the Bunsen burner to heat up some liquid when the lad swung back on his stool and simply knocked my beaker over all over 2 weeks written work. I snapped and pulled the lad 22plus stone of him off his chair and as I flew over the top of my desk I landed a punch to the nose, I lost it though and tried to shove the very hot and still lit burner down his throat after much punching had been had..I was so zoned out when the teacher dragged me of I drew back my arm with a fist and almost gave it to him too....I was about 6ft 2ins when I was 15 and about 8ins taller than the teacher.

I was sent down for 6 of the best from the head, but went home and my mum got the lot chapter and verse 4 years of it, when she heard all this I was taken back to school for a meeting with the head on the same day. I still was punished for fighting but only 1 on the hand not the rear...The bully got 6 of the best and sobbed like a girl.

I got a name for myself as someone who was not to be targeted as I would flip out and kick your teeth in...Never bullied again after that. I should have done it sooner.


If My lad ]was being bullied now, I would simply go and talk to the head, remind him or her of their responsibilities and IF nothing done I would be calling police and making it an assault case.
 
A quick follow up to this....The bully became a friend soon after and to be honest, he was an ok mate too I am unsure of what made him pick on me for so long but I could speculate he had been bullied himself at some point. He was a very large person and so had been targeted by others in school for this reason. I was also the manager of a garage in Liverpool. a fast fit station we did suspension and what do you know he rocked up in his Austin Princess with knackered hydrolastic unit on the F o/s Almost wet my pants when he got out - first time I had seen him for 20 years......
 
All power to you for definitely doing more than most would.
Bullying is horrible, but tbh what you witnessed was far in excess of bullying.
It was assault at best.
 
LASTOLITE said:
My pet project too....

After 4 years in secondary school of constant bullying from day 1. I knew a dozen ways home, so I didnt get it at the gate. It was difficult at times but it all came to a stop when the I was in a science class, we were using the Bunsen burner to heat up some liquid when the lad swung back on his stool and simply knocked my beaker over all over 2 weeks written work. I snapped and pulled the lad 22plus stone of him off his chair and as I flew over the top of my desk I landed a punch to the nose, I lost it though and tried to shove the very hot and still lit burner down his throat after much punching had been had..I was so zoned out when the teacher dragged me of I drew back my arm with a fist and almost gave it to him too....I was about 6ft 2ins when I was 15 and about 8ins taller than the teacher.

I was sent down for 6 of the best from the head, but went home and my mum got the lot chapter and verse 4 years of it, when she heard all this I was taken back to school for a meeting with the head on the same day. I still was punished for fighting but only 1 on the hand not the rear...The bully got 6 of the best and sobbed like a girl.

I got a name for myself as someone who was not to be targeted as I would flip out and kick your teeth in...Never bullied again after that. I should have done it sooner.


If My lad ]was being bullied now, I would simply go and talk to the head, remind him or her of their responsibilities and IF nothing done I would be calling police and making it an assault case.
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Had a similar situation myself. Years of getting bullied, all ended with me being the one who ended it.

I came from a country bumpkin primary school where everyone got along, everyone knew each other, all the parents were friends and there was about 30 kids in the entire school for years 1-7. Within the first month of moving to a high school of 500+ "kids" I made it my sole aim in life to learn how to defend myself. I went to Taekwondo twice a week but it took a few years for me to come out my shell and stand up for myself. In year 4 of high school it all ended in music class...with a broken acoustic guitar and a roundhouse kick to the head of my bully. It felt great, even more so that I'm only 5'5" and he was a towering giant :D
 
Well done you. When I was in "middle school" in 80's (prob 10-11 years old) got bullied by some kid a few years older - lived up the road. He thought it funny to push me into hedges on way home. Anyhow, when close to home, turned round and gave hit a solid left fist straight to his face - lots of blood from nose. his parents called the school to complain.

I got to see the head and his words were "You nearly broke Nigel's nose."

My response.. "If he does it again, I'll try much harder next time." Then told the head (very old school guy) exactly what happened. Head asked him if it was true, he admitted it was (not the brightest kid!)

Nigel offered to be friends. I declined the offer.
 
All great by the OP and I would hope I would step forward if I saw simmilar..


gumbo-67 said:
and i did give the younger one my contact details in case he needed them..
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Sorry but why ?
 
Well done for doing all that you could and lets be honest... if you'd done more you'd probably have ended up down the nick looking at an assault charge. You can't touch the little darlings.

I was a bit quiet at school and therefore a good target but I had a temper and if anyone started the red mist descended and I used to punch them in the face no matter where we were, I only had to do that a couple times at each school I went to and it never happened again but can decent kids still do that? I wouldn't recommend it as there don't seem to be rules these days and if anyone lamps a bully they'll run the risk of being battered by a mob later, or worse.

In adult life I've always done whatever I can to stop bullying, such a shame to see it happening and its effects.
 
CaveDweller said:
I went to Taekwondo twice a week but it took a few years for me to come out my shell and stand up for myself.
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This is one of the hardest things for me to understand with my youngster, he did karate 2/3 times a week from the age of 6 until 11 achieving black belt and competing in several championships. He then gave it up and now trains with the british judo association and is working his way through the ranks.

So the ability to stick up for himself is there, I've seen him do it on the mat many times.

So both myself and his mum are exasperated that he won't put those skills and abilities to use. His reply is, I don't want to lose it and really hurt someone badly. Which in some respects is a good reply, but he gets so upset and wound up by being picked on I just wish he would go to town on someone and maybe that would put an end to it.

I have even offered to go speak to student services and tell them what is happening and if he does towel someone, then this is why and he should not be held responsible.... Grrrrr! Drives me nuts!
 
I was bullied at my last school, being a pad brat all my life. When my Dad left the army I went to normal school. I got bullied for being posh ( I had no accent) and the horror that my parents had a mortgage and nice house. This was later part of the 80's and living on once pit village. Things came to head when I tried to smack a brick of one the local dicks that were giving me grief and trying to ram someones head into brick wall at school, things calmed down after that.
I despise bully's and fair play to stepping in. I know of big men that would simple look the other way.
 
Spiderdudeuk said:
This is one of the hardest things for me to understand with my youngster, he did karate 2/3 times a week from the age of 6 until 11 achieving black belt and competing in several championships. He then gave it up and now trains with the british judo association and is working his way through the ranks.

So the ability to stick up for himself is there, I've seen him do it on the mat many times.

So both myself and his mum are exasperated that he won't put those skills and abilities to use. His reply is, I don't want to lose it and really hurt someone badly. Which in some respects is a good reply, but he gets so upset and wound up by being picked on I just wish he would go to town on someone and maybe that would put an end to it.

I have even offered to go speak to student services and tell them what is happening and if he does towel someone, then this is why and he should not be held responsible.... Grrrrr! Drives me nuts!
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There is an issue with a "trained" person dealing with things I suppose. Plus for him it may all be about personal discipline. Competition between two willing parties and its sportsmanship. A physical rebuke on a person who is, for want of a better phrase "unarmed" for your lad may be unequal in his eyes?

I would be frustrated too, knowing how swift the end to things is when you do take a stand against a bully. Of course its less acceptable these days to go outside what ever the school has in place to combat a bully. PC foolery infiltrates all aspects of life.
 
I was bullied for around 8 years by a group of about 7/8 people, it was impossible to escape from it as they all lived in the surrounding streets of my house.
It was hell every day, at school, at home, at the park, everywhere I went. It wasnt just verbal abuse either, it was physical and i used to get smacked around by them daily. These kids were relentless, our school did nothing despite knowing it was happening. There was times where i'd turn up to a lesson with ripped shirts etc and it would be brushed off as "kids being kids".
There was times I couldn't even leave my house as they would wait around outside just so they could bully me as soon as I went out, I had my house egged numerous times and things stolen, broken etc.
This got really bad and left me needing counselling etc and left me with pretty bad anxiety issues which I still struggle with now, 15 years later. Fear of crowds which now as an adult seems completely ridiculous but I can't shake it off. Fear of being centre of any attention in case something humiliating happens which I can't control is crippling sometimes. It's horrendous. Bullies have no consideration for what implications their actions have, the only saving grace for me was the day that I got fed up of being smacked about and dragged one of them to the floor and gave him a swift kick to the face, he never touched me again.

The strange thing is, a couple of years ago my parents received a letter addressed to me, full of remorse from one of the bullies, apologising and expressing regret for the way he treated me. It's odd as we are actually friends now and I see the way a lot of the other folk have grown up and have families etc and have completely changed. Still ill never forget how they made me feel.

Sorry to go off on one and blab on about my experience but it's hard to talk about and a degree of anonymity on here makes it a tad easier.
 
Well done Terri! Even as a bloke, I sometimes find teenagers a little intimidating although that's probably because it's nagging in the back of my mind that if they get physical I'm the one that's going to get in to trouble regardless.

I was subjected to what I suppose would be classed as low-level bullying at various points during my schooling. I was one of the smallest in my class (until I was about 14), useless at sport but one of the cleverer ones which I suppose made me a bit of a target.

When I was 14/15 we started playing rugby and no one would tackle "the hardest kid in the year" who was now considerably smaller than me so I thought "sod this" and went in with a big hit :lol:

He didn't like it one bit and offered me out during the game so I told it was a man's game and if he wasn't up to it to go and play netball with the girls (he didn't like that much either). He made various threats over the next few months, long stares whenever he saw me but nothing much else. We were getting on a bus to go to the gym one day, someone pushed him, he thought it was me and punched me in the face. I just stared at him, followed him to where he sat on the bus and sat behind him..... didn't say a word the whole time :lol:

We got to the gym and both ended up in the sparring room (ironically) so I offered him the opportinity to settle our differences like men once and for all, just the two of us....... He declined and conveniently forgot there was ever a problem and that was the end of it :lol: Shortly after that he got into a fight with someone else but ended up biting them on the inside of their thigh..... that was the end for him really, lost all his friends and became a little introverted, kinda felt sorry for him tbh.

Having been a little kid, I'm definitely not a fighter, I still size people up on the basis of whether I think I can out run them :lol: Whilst I'm no man mountain, I'm nearly 6ft tall and 15st so I'm a reasonable size and could probably look after myself but that's just not really in my nature unless I've got no other option.

I detest bullies (as most people do) however I think the term's used a little too much now. I mean what used to be considered a little bit of name calling would now be classed as bullying. I think kids are being brought up and educated to believe that everyone will be their friend and everyone will like them but sadly that's not going to be the case, especially when they leave school.
 
IMO as someone who was bullied a lot at school I tend to think that unless its really serious the parents/teachers getting involved makes it worse - when i was younger we lived in a house that had shall we say basic sanitation (that is it was on cess pool which used to overflow into the garden at times) and in which baths were a weekly rather than daily event ... added to which my father was a notorious local p*** head and was frequently seen falling down drunk in the middle of the day.

Both these factors combined with my being at the time quite good academically but not great physically made me a natural target - i swiftly acquired the nickname 'stinky pete' and wherever i went in the school i'd get 'stinky pete smells of poo' - if i asked a girl out i'd get 'don't go out with him he smells of s***' , i'd get water thrown on me during or between classes because "he need a good wash" you get the picture.

My mum bless her found this unacceptable and complained to the head - subsequent day form tutor sends me out of the room "on an errand" - to chants of "tell him to buy some soap" while he explains to my class mates that its not nice to pick on people... did this help... did it f*** ... now as well as 'smelling of poo' i was a mummy's boy who couldnt stand up for himself and my charming class mates now added "stinky pete needs mummy to change his nappy" to their repertoire.

Shortly after this after i'd just been turned down by one of the prettier girls in the class (and actually I can't blame her i didnt exactly have a great reputation to attract her) this particular little s*** called Lee started with his "well of course she turned you down poo boy you wear a nappy, you smell of..." at this point i had a total red mist moment and stabbed him in the chest with the biro I happened to be holding.... he went over backwards and I jumped on top of him and stabbed him with it repeatedly in the face and neck until it shattered leaving him crying on the floor with bits of plastic stuck in his face - his mate Gareth tried to pull me off and i punched him in the testicles, then tried to put my thumb in his eye.

Eventually I was pulled off them by two teachers and subsequently suspended for a month - Lee and Gareth both went to hospital.

On my return i discoved that my nick name had changed from 'stinky pete the poo boy' to 'psycho pete' , and my reputation had changed from 'mummys boy' to 'don't f*** with him if you value your looks'
 
Ok

A Friend of a friends son was being bullied at school 15yrs old. This bully was also bullying a number of other lads and a few girls.
This friend knew that this lad regularly went to a youth club but would be walking home alone down an alley. On this one night this poor bully bumped into someone with a balaclava on his head and was told in no uncertain terms that if he didn't stop bullying everybody then they would be having another chat.

Bullying stopped immediately!

Looking back now and the friend of a friend may have been a little OTT Given that the bully may have been abused himself (more likely a spoilt little brat though) However there had been a number of reported suicides because of bullying and he wanted to nip it in the bud.
 
What an interesting thread, and just goes to show that the victims of bullying are numerous and from all walks of life. In some cases it shows how our childhoods can change the way we are as adults and even hinder us in so many ways. Imho that is why we must clamp down on it as soon as we can as individuals. Its just not that easy is it to find the courage. I like the idea of an anonymous third party having a word Matt in hindsight that would have done the trick for me way back then I am sure as my bully was a coward under all the front.



And Well Done Pete.......I like a good come back story. :clap:
 
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Sorry for my replying i have been at work.. "pads brats" yep i know that all to well i a couple of those. Well today i went into work and sems that the young lad is ok but i am going to be needed as a witness "maybe".
 
I seem to remember a couple of occasions where I lost my temper with bullies - one in a biology class where one prodded me in the back one time too many and I remember getting up and calmly locking both hands round his neck and trying to throttle him - I actually remember the teacher having to force me to remove my grip from his neck!
 
I to was bullied at school, divorced parents & two younger sisters, money was tight and cloths had to last, had my own paper round at 11 and done odd jobs for people to get me some money, my surname is Lafferty so I had the nickname bog brush which didn't help. I would't say boo to a goose.

I was also quiet small in height, it was in the Third year at school when it all changed, my mum used to cut hair at home to bring in what she could & one of the 5th students decided I was trying to nick his girl friend. Well I managed to get out of the fight on Monday & Tuesday but got cornered on the Wednesday, He threw the first punch to which I counter blocked and placed his head between my legs and part picked him up in a bear hug, I tried to explain the girl was only having her hair cut, I let him go after about a minute thinking he would back off.

oh no he we go again, another punch came to which I grab dropped to one knee a threw him over my right shoulder
Straight in to a a 3ft high brick wall, well the brick wall gave way at the 5th year student who was slightly worse for wear with a broken nose ripped shirt and blood everywhere.

This was the first time I had used my marital art skills outside the Dojo, I was not proud Of what had happened
But new it was the right thing todo. & I didn't even hit him, Needless to say I was never picked on again.

I went on to train under the Great Cliff Baker Brown, team GB Olympic Judo coach
 
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Question: Do you think there are bulliers and bulliees?
I ask as one of my friends has had to move his boy to 3 different schools and he's been bullied in all.
I was attempted to be bullied at school but thanks to my cold hearted vengeful psychopathic tendancies these stopped following a minor incident of thunderflashes in their office (school loos).
Its interesting that some have said learn self defence. I think a lot comes down to mind set.
 
woof woof said:
I was a bit quiet at school and therefore a good target
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I have been very lucky as I was never bullied at school. I should have been as I was the stereotypical target. Geeky type who preferred reading to sports, etc. I think the fact that I was quick witted and could think of a good put down line in an instant saved me.

Bullying is usually a sign of insecurity. They pick on someone in public in the hope that it takes attention away from themselves. i.e. pick on someone else before you get picked on yourself.


Steve.
 
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viv1969 said:
All power to you for definitely doing more than most would.
Bullying is horrible, but tbh what you witnessed was far in excess of bullying.
It was assault at best.
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+1 exactly what I thought as I read it
 
Steve Smith said:
I have been very lucky as I was never bullied at school. I should have been as I was the stereotypical target. Geeky type who preferred reading to sports, etc. I think the fact that I was quick witted and could think of a good put down line in an instant saved me.

Bullying is usually a sign of insecurity. They pick on someone in public in the hope that it takes attention away from themselves. i.e. pick on someone else beg=fore you get picked on yourself.


Steve.
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When I'm in the mood I can also be good at put downs and indeed these days that's my weapon of choice when I come across someone being verbally or physically aggressive. Like you I do think that more often than not there's something wrong in bullies lives and I do therefore have a little sympathy and time for them if they're willing to recognise that they're on the wrong path and are willing to do something about it.
 
My step daughter was bullied from the minute she stepped foot on secondry school turf to the day she left! She's beautiful and intelligent but has never got over it, the school never dealt with it in the way it should, we just sat by helpless having to cope with the aftermath! We now have a 6 year old and are dreading the time she goes to big school!
The trouble is if you see stuff going on that you feel you should intervene on it may be the last time you do it!!
 
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