Builder's speak, a new language.

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17th week into a job that was meant to take 6 weeks. I have become fluent in a new language, known as 'builder's speak' (and that's besides all the Effin' and Jeffin').

Builder " see you monday"....what that actually means is - '' we'll be back at some point in the next fortnight'.
Builder '' I'll get one of the boys to tidy up the mess at the end of the week"....that actually translates into - " it's Friday, pub time".
Builder " that's a temporary fix"......is infact - "oops, we've cracked the roof tile".
builder " do you get on with nextdoor?"....... my favourite...." we've hit his car with a scaffold pole".

A 17 week nightmare that is happily coming to an end.
 
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When we had a builder in to do an extension at our last place, his work buddy was always saying “oh yeah, BB”. I thought at first it was the builder’s nickname, then he explained it to us that it meant he was talking BB : Builder’s B*ll*cks.
 
Start work at 8.30, survey scene and then b****r off for a cooked breakfast somewhere.

Come back at midday via collecting materials at the builders merchants.

Spend an hour making a mess before lunch at the local mini market. Back for an hour before time to go to the pub!

I’m actually yet to meet a builder who has heard of cement in their sand/water mix. I’m not saying there aren’t any builders who know about cement just that I have met any who have!

I’ve long since given up on them after having to redo their work so now I just do it myself!
 
I empathise and sympathise Nigel - it seems no one wants to do a day's work any more. :mad:

I've just had a new kitchen fitted - well actually the same one, but remodelled and adjusted to make it useable from a wheelchair. Should be a three/four day job.

Week one - three of them turned up on the Tuesday, but the boss was ill and no one knew what to do. I explained, so they took the kitchen apart and pulled all the tiles off the wall. 'We should be back tomorrow' they said. I never saw anyone again until the following Monday when they turned up with no warning.

Week two - two cupboards fitted. Workers turned up at 0730, worked until 0930 when it was 'breakfast time', then at 1200 went for lunch. Worked again from 1245 until 1500, then packed up and went home.

Week three - more of the same.

Week four - again more of the same.

Finally, after nearly five weeks I've almost got a kitchen, but I've got to wait another month for them to replace the faulty cooker that wasn't tested before fitting. : :headbang:

P.S. The only one of the bunch that was any good was a Polish bloke - the electrician. He knew his stuff, did a great job and is a real gent. I've kept his number for any future work.

It's no wonder big employer's use migrant workers. The British ones are just bone idle and useless . . .
 
Sky said:
I empathise and sympathise Nigel - it seems no one wants to do a day's work any more. :mad:

I've just had a new kitchen fitted - well actually the same one, but remodelled and adjusted to make it useable from a wheelchair. Should be a three/four day job.

Week one - three of them turned up on the Tuesday, but the boss was ill and no one knew what to do. I explained, so they took the kitchen apart and pulled all the tiles off the wall. 'We should be back tomorrow' they said. I never saw anyone again until the following Monday when they turned up with no warning.

Week two - two cupboards fitted. Workers turned up at 0730, worked until 0930 when it was 'breakfast time', then at 1200 went for lunch. Worked again from 1245 until 1500, then packed up and went home.

Week three - more of the same.

Week four - again more of the same.

Finally, after nearly five weeks I've almost got a kitchen, but I've got to wait another month for them to replace the faulty cooker that wasn't tested before fitting. : :headbang:

P.S. The only one of the bunch that was any good was a Polish bloke - the electrician. He knew his stuff, did a great job and is a real gent. I've kept his number for any future work.

It's no wonder big employer's use migrant workers. The British ones are just bone idle and useless . . .
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please don't tar us all with the same brush, were they recommended,? cheapest quote ? I fit kitchens and bathrooms and wouldn't dream of leaving you in a mess or drag the job out, glad the spark knew what he was doing , with all qualifications with proof or wouldn't let him in the house
 
FWIW

My nephew was a plasterer (no longer in the trade but still does some jobs) and when he did a wall in our bedroom (live plaster in one area and other remedial work) he hardly stopped for anything.

But I do recall some of the stories he told when he first worked on bigger contract jobs about other tradesmen stealing his tools and how some of the other plasterers not being anywhere as diligent as he was.......though the quality of his work was recognised by his employer(s) and he was called in to do some very prestigious high detailed work.

In regard to electrical work, a few years back we needed to update our consumer unit and a few additional things. We got quotes from 3 companies, all either NAPIT or NEC/EIC (have I got the letters right ?) and chose the middle quote.

Three guys attended, the boss/owner and two employees they all worked diligently and only stopped for lunch (gave them tea & biscuits too). The one thing that surprised me was that the one who was fully certificated to sign the job off was one of the employees not the owner.
 
worked with plasterers , its hard graft, "wet plaster waits for no man":)
 
We've had mildly interesting times with French builders. They tend to be literal, so if there's an issue they carry on regardless until told otherwise. Having said that, they have been excellent with time keeping for appointments, though a bit more relaxed with work schedules.

FWIW we found an excellent builder last year to fit windows and do roof repairs. They came when they promised, worked to schedule and told us about problems they found and added the fix into their schedule.
 
I do (did) most of my own work but when a gas pipe to a redundant oven had to be disconnected and capped off, I thought that I had better get a professional, as turning off the gas, cutting the end off the redundant pipe and capping off with a compression cap fitting, probably wouldn't satisfy British Gas when they service my boiler (capped end was directly under the boiler).

Guess what the professional plumber did?

............................................ Yup!
 
It is very hit and miss. If possible I use recommendations from my friends in the trade, or the friend themselves, unfortunately most of them are now retired. If I go direct, I get annoyed when they say they will attend for a quote but never turn up. If they are not interested in the job why not just say so.

If you find a good plasterer treasury them, very skilled. Same applies to most trades, perhaps it is because plastering is beyond me.
 
When we moved in here 3 years ago we had no wardrobes. We had a couple of quotes from the well known bedroom brands, but a neighbour suggested I give a local guy a call. He turned up when he said he would, and the 3 day job took 2 1/2 days, and he was cheaper than the so called value d big companies. Used him again for some more wardrobes in the spare room, and he also made a couple of nice radiator covers too. Have recommended him to a few people locally. Great when you get a decent tradesman.
 
.......nothing changes, his last words Friday " 8.00 Monday start?" no problem I told him........still not there at 12:15............although in his defence he didn't state which Monday.
 
mex said:
.......nothing changes, his last words Friday " 8.00 Monday start?" no problem I told him........still not there at 12:15............although in his defence he didn't state which Monday.
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:LOL: :headbang:
 
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