Dubcat, you seem to trying to arrive at the perfect outfit by remote control, asking questions of others. That's fine up to a point, but as Garry says above, there comes a time when only you can decide.
The best thing to do would be hire a D-Lite kit and big octa from The Flash Centre. You'll then get to see how much power you want - 200 to 400 Ws is not a huge difference anyway, one stop on the ISO dial or aperture will get you the same effective difference. And you'll find out how much room you've got/need. I think you get some of the money back when you buy.
The Lencarta Profold 70x100cm softbox has been mentioned before. That's a very versatile light for anything from solo portraits to small groups, depending on the result you want, but it will do it. And bear in mind that a 100cm box is about 120cm across the diagonal - it's not a small light by any means.
And as I think I suggested to you in a PM, there's a D-Lite 2/4 kit or you could just get one, see how you get on, then you can decide on the other two on the basis of solid experience. Personally, one 400 and two 200s would be my choice, or even better a BX-Ri 500 and two 250s - more money I know (you get the Skysport Speed version with the BX-Ri too).
Basically, I think you need to get something to test for yourself, in your own cirumstances and style. It's the only way to know for sure.