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EdinburghGary

EdinburghGary

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Gary
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I know a plonker who runs a photo studio in a fairly busy Scottish city. When I say runs, he's mostly putting out fires and flying by the seat of his pants....

Anyway, last week, he purchases a massive collection of chocolates from a large cash and carry. Said chocolates have been distributed by the half dozen or so to all the little girls and boys who have been behaving and smiling for the silly man with the camera.

Said photographers wife was in his studio earlier today, and asked where all the chocolates had gone....as the photographer explained that a lot of families had been in, and that most of them had greedy 2 and 3 year olds, Mrs. Photographers face drained of all colour.....

"You stupid ****ing *******, those were Chocolate liqueurs!!!! WHAT THE ****?"

Conversation ended.

True story :D

Gary.
 
Chortle..............:lol:
 
COTFMUKPATHETMLC

(Crawling on the floor mopping up kiddy puke after they've eaten too many liqueur chocolates!)

Might have to visit Makro to get a few boxes in for "demanding sweeties with menaces night" at the end of the month. (Yes, I'm a miserable scrote who thinks trick/treaters should be tarred and feathered. Let's face it, for 364 days of the year, the little dears are told not to take sweets from strangers but for one night, the same parents send the ****ers out to knock on starngers' doors demanding sweets...) Must remember to get a tin or 2 of Heroes and sort out the ones we like then just dole out the ones we think are inedible. OR wrap a few pounds of sprouts in silver foil...
 
Waits for press reports
" Photo studio encourages underage drinking"

You will, sorry your friend will have all the chavvy types queuing round the corner.
 
Well done Gary, very funny.
 
And the October Plonker of the Month Award goes to..... :D:D
 
Nod said:
COTFMUKPATHETMLC

(Crawling on the floor mopping up kiddy puke after they've eaten too many liqueur chocolates!)

Might have to visit Makro to get a few boxes in for "demanding sweeties with menaces night" at the end of the month. (Yes, I'm a miserable scrote who thinks trick/treaters should be tarred and feathered. Let's face it, for 364 days of the year, the little dears are told not to take sweets from strangers but for one night, the same parents send the ****ers out to knock on starngers' doors demanding sweets...) Must remember to get a tin or 2 of Heroes and sort out the ones we like then just dole out the ones we think are inedible. OR wrap a few pounds of sprouts in silver foil...
Click to expand...

Personally a favorite of mine is giving the little kids just crap sweets then the older kids who are not very nice and demand sweets laxative sweets.
 
Nod said:
COTFMUKPATHETMLC

(Crawling on the floor mopping up kiddy puke after they've eaten too many liqueur chocolates!)

Might have to visit Makro to get a few boxes in for "demanding sweeties with menaces night" at the end of the month. (Yes, I'm a miserable scrote who thinks trick/treaters should be tarred and feathered. Let's face it, for 364 days of the year, the little dears are told not to take sweets from strangers but for one night, the same parents send the ****ers out to knock on starngers' doors demanding sweets...) Must remember to get a tin or 2 of Heroes and sort out the ones we like then just dole out the ones we think are inedible. OR wrap a few pounds of sprouts in silver foil...
Click to expand...

Running a bit short on sweets a few years ago I padded out the bottom of the bowl with small fruit - apples, clementines/satsumas that sort of thing. The fruit went first. I think last year we had more fruit than sweets in the bowl at the start of the evening and we were left with quite a few sweets and no fruit.

Maybe we're lucky though.. there's an unwritten local code, if you don't want top be bothered with it all you just switch off your porch/door light and your doorbell will go un-rung. And the treaters do make an effort dressing up.
 
Thats why the kids were all sitting so still, whats next passing round a roll up? That'll make the pupils dilated, but might give me the munchies....
 
Next time keep a few for your wife Gary. In this instance buy her some from an expensive store :D:D:D
 
:lol::lol::lol: That is just brilliant!! :thumbs:

... It's a good thing they were Scottish kids
 
First I thought this was just a wind-up :p

Just curious, will you be doing it more often :naughty:, seeing that it surely made the kids more pleasant to shoot :p?
 
Reminds me of the L’Univers de Chocolat adverts (google images to see what I mean).
 
The parents will be wondering why the kids slept so well...

Good trick (note to self: buy more vodka for the kids' orange juice)...
 
Cough syrup used to work just as good :p ;)
 
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