Actually come to think about it; on our Mercedes GL its all different. Ha funny, it is so automatic (pun intended) that I don't even think about it.
The stalk is always in Neutral

You tap it down to get it into drive, and tap it up to go into reverse. But it always positions itself back in Neutral. Park you could engage by pressing a button on the end of the stalk, or simply by switching off the engine. S is a button on the dashboard labelled ECO (go figure

) by switching ECO off. Kickdown is either by applying the kickdown, or if you want several gears at once you can use the flappy paddles and just hold it down and it will quickly (very quickly) select the lowest possible gear. To hold and disengage the gears you don't put it in hold but press the brake pedal a second time and HOLD appears in the dashboard.
Now thinking about it, I can't get myself to even begin to describe the Golf R there are so many settings on it; its got a more traditional PRND pattern. But in Drive you can tap it a second time and it switches to S. If you push it to the left whilst in D then you can manually select the gears with either the lever in tiptronic style setting, or use the flappy paddles. If you use the flappy paddles but have the box in D then you have a temporary (30s) manual override following which it will revert to automatic again unless you use it again. In RACE mode settings the default of D is actually S

But you can tap D downwards to make S turn into D again

In ECONOMY setting it seems to disengage the gears when letting go of the throttle enabling a pulse and glide style of driving and significantly increase the MPG. And likewise no need to put in P at the lights as the car autobrakes and disengages or just switches off the engine.
Never realised how complex an automatic actually is
