Answer to question you didn't expect

Trex500

Trex500

Suspended / Banned
Messages
798
Edit My Images
No
Was wondering if people had any funny or strange answer to a question you have asked someone.

I was in London Friday, i was around the bank of England area, i was in need of a coffee, couldn't see any outlets so asked this guy who was sitting on a bench
drinking a take away coffee, i approached him and asked please could you tell me where you got the coffee from as i wanted to get one, he replied out of that bin over there, i just found it. :thinking: :bonk:
 
When I asked my mum if I was adopted.

"Yes"

Oh, ok then :lol:
 
When I asked an ex "do you love me" and he answered not really, just going with you as I fancy your Mum


:naughty:
 
Errr, when some farmer came up to me asked me if I'd left two bits of wood resting against his fence.

I said "No,that's not my stile"

But on a different note, (and I know this flips the OP on it's head) but when I was 16 and working in a supermarket I did have a very nice lady aproach me, and in all innocence said "Can you show me where your nuts are please?" The colour of her face a millisecond after she realised what she had said was absolutley priceless.


Personaly, if I ask a sensible question, I appreciate a sensible answer. Smart alec comments are likely to meet with an equally sarcastic retort.
 
I asked my 4 year old the other day what he wanted for his 5th birthday.

He put his hand on his chin and said "errrrrm, a chequebook"
 
kelack said:
When I asked an ex "do you love me" and he answered not really, just going with you as I fancy your Mum
:naughty:
Click to expand...

honesty in any relationship is always the best policy :thumbs: :D

Gandhi said:
Errr, when some farmer came up to me asked me if I'd left two bits of wood resting against his fence.

I said "No,that's not my stile"
Click to expand...

<groan> :D

Marcel said:
I asked my 4 year old the other day what he wanted for his 5th birthday.

He put his hand on his chin and said "errrrrm, a chequebook"
Click to expand...

Sensible lad, :thumbs: takes after his mum then :D
 
Can't think of any at the moment, but I so wish I'd come up with this.......
A real story by a Man who was standing in a queue in Tesco&#8217;s......

I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was
standing in the queue at the till.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works
is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or
two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so
I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting
in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard
as he staggered out the door.

Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
 
:lol::lol::lol::lol:

Why would you buy Winalot :suspect: Pedigree chum is better in pies:thumbs:
 
nilagin said:
Can't think of any at the moment, but I so wish I'd come up with this.......
A real story by a Man who was standing in a queue in Tesco’s......

I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was
standing in the queue at the till.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works
is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or
two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so
I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting
in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard
as he staggered out the door.

Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
Click to expand...

:lol::lol::lol:
 
Priceless!!!!
 
I *think* ive heard that before. Still didnt' stop me guffawing loudly at it :D
 
We were walkin along the beach(?) near Bolton-Le-Sands and there was a
couple sat on a bench watching their dog on the grassy/sandy bit there.

As i walked past them, the bloke said to me 'thats a flash camera, will it take
a picture of the dog?'

So i lined up a shot on the dog and pressed the shutter. I looked at the result
on the screen and turned to him nodded, and said .... 'Yes' then i wandered off :lol:


.
 
Hmm the tesco one reminds me of another.
Happened to a friend of mine around last Christmas I believe

Check-out girl as she "swiped through" the products
one toothbrush
TV dinner's for one
small bag of potatoes
half a pint of milk
she turns to my friend and said
"I guess you are single then"
He said "Yep very good, did you deduce that from my purchases?"







"No" she said with a slight smile
it just that you are so fugly!
 
I once asked 'Can I **** in **** ****H' and got the reply...... grrrgh llkiytyter rrrgh ............ :lol:
 
Another I wish was mine.
A man boarded a plane with six kids.

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked,

"Are all of those kids yours ? "

HE replied,

" No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints. "


Well maybe not the 6 kids. :lol:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top