adopted kids query

AshleyC

AshleyC

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My fiance has an adopted daughter. I was just wondering when we get married, should something happen to my wife where would my step daughter stand legally in the whole family chain?
 
AshleyC said:
My fiance has an adopted daughter. I was just wondering when we get married, should something happen to my wife where would my step daughter stand legally in the whole family chain?
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I do believe that after you're married you should become an adopted parent too to ensure the child's future.
 
is that assumed automatically though or do you have to go through the whole process? my sister is actually going through the adoption process now and social services have basically gone through her life with a fine tooth comb, the whole process is a nightmare! The other sticking point is that the daughter doesnt know yet!
 
AshleyC said:
is that assumed automatically though or do you have to go through the whole process? my sister is actually going through the adoption process now and social services have basically gone through her life with a fine tooth comb, the whole process is a nightmare! The other sticking point is that the daughter doesnt know yet!
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I assume your sister is in a slightly different position though as the child she wants to adopt isn't already adopted. You however will already be halfway there as you will in effect be a kind of stepfather once married. I don't really see how you can be turned down once that is the case, nor do I believe that the daughter has to be aware of the adoption. What maybe more worthwhile is both you and your girlfriend leaving Wills with the daughter named as a beneficiary as if you have more kids, they will take precedence over any estate should no will exist and the adopted daughter would get nothing.
 
nilagin said:
I assume your sister is in a slightly different position though as the child she wants to adopt isn't already adopted. You however will already be halfway there as you will in effect be a kind of stepfather once married. I don't really see how you can be turned down once that is the case, nor do I believe that the daughter has to be aware of the adoption. What maybe more worthwhile is both you and your girlfriend leaving Wills with the daughter named as a beneficiary as if you have more kids, they will take precedence over any estate should no will exist and the adopted daughter would get nothing.
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that sounds logical. Although seeing what my sister has had to go through shows that reason and common sense go out the window when your trying to adopt!

Well maybe a bit hard, but the whole process seems incredibly stressful and beaurocratic
 
Rather personal question, but did your fiancée adopt her daughter alone, or with a previous partner / spouse?
If it's the latter it could have an impact on the possibilities.
 
AshleyC said:
that sounds logical. Although seeing what my sister has had to go through shows that reason and common sense go out the window when your trying to adopt!

Well maybe a bit hard, but the whole process seems incredibly stressful and beaurocratic
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A friend of mine wanted to adopt a little girl that he and his wife were fostering, at first they met resistance due to a foster family would be lost for the future, however social services/council finally agreed, as they were already a foster family they didn't really have to jump through hoops, I doubt you would either as the daughter would already be living with you.
 
AshleyC said:
that sounds logical. Although seeing what my sister has had to go through shows that reason and common sense go out the window when your trying to adopt!

Well maybe a bit hard, but the whole process seems incredibly stressful and beaurocratic
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Can be a minefield theses days,and as you say very stressful take all advice you can get.
 
It should be easy to clarify your situation by speaking to the adoption team who initially approved your fiancé.:cool:

You could speak to a solicitor if unsure, to put your mind at rest.
 
thing is she is Chinese and it was all done over there. The next time the social worker visits my sister i might get her to ask the question for me but as said, if im married to her then i must be 9/10's there but it would be sensible to get some sort of paperwork done to make me official as it were.
 
AshleyC said:
........it was all done over there.
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The UK Govt. must be happy with it, so obviously legal & same rules would apply. (ethnicity shouldn't come into it?)

I'd defo ask the S/W to clarify, but it's also good to ask via email. ;) You at least have proof then of any questions/concerns.
 
I think people are getting two different types of adoption confused here. Step-parent adoption (which is what this is) is slightly different and not as long winded or thorough a process. Have a look here https://www.gov.uk/child-adoption/adopting-a-stepchild

Your situation is fairly straightforward and should be quite a smooth process. What I would say is that dependent on the age of the child there would be an expectation that his / her views would be taken into account. From what you say the child is unaware at this time so that will mean some thought about the timing of any step-parent adoption. Take your time as there is no rush. The process isn't as daunting as you may think. I hope all goes well when the time comes for you to go through the process.

Its been a few years since I stopped doing adoption / step-parent adoption work, but not a lot has changed apart from the government targets that now make adoption quicker and less stringent. What that actually means in reality is more adoption breakdowns. All adoption (and fostering) assessments are thorough for a reason. I do get a little frustrated when people feel as though they are put through hell! What that usually means is all checks and references being taken up and a nationally agreed assessment format being used that looks at all aspects of their lives to ensure stability for the child.

One of my current roles at the minute is to look at it from the child's perspective when something goes wrong. If we want to think about going through hell then some of what the children go through is as close to hell as we can imagine. They are thorough assessments so that kids don't get let down again. In my current role I see kids that have been let down by their own birth families and then often have had one or two adoption breakdowns. Try explaining to any child why they have been rejected not once, but then again by their other 'forever mummy / Daddy' (adopters) and why no one wants them. Its a little trick but mostly heart-breaking....

Chris
 
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Blue Moon 7 said:
Try explaining to any child why they have been rejected not once, but then again by their other 'forever mummy / Daddy' (adopters) and why no one wants them. Its a little trick but mostly heart-breaking....
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Aye, we foster & one of the kids we care for has had a failed adoption.......... oh & we were his 10th+ placement!

The processes are very intrusive, BUT they need to be. Try & see it from a child's POV & it aint so bad. (y)
 
Go and see a solicitor who specializes in family law/this kind of thing

A first consultation shouldn't cost you anything and should provide you with the correct and legal information you require
 
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cannot answer your question as such, however well done on the adoption side of things. What I find ironic, is when wanting to adopt, you have to go through so many processes, checks etc... (agree some necessary, some maybe not).. however... pretty much any 16yr old plus female (or younger) with less financial / emotional stability can go out for a night and following a one night stand, can become a single mum...
 
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