Acceptable places to break wind

DorsetDude

DorsetDude

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Sorry for lowering the tone somewhat but just wondering, is there an official etiquette.
e.g. I work in an office and probably wouldnt risk letting one go unless the office was empty.
If Im the "cubicles" obviously it's de rigeur, starters orders before the pace car and all that. What if I am standing at the hugh rinals though? I reckon you are entitled to let rip there even if your boss is stood 2 down. You are in the toilet still arent you? And what if you are washing your hands and feel the need?

What about people who work on building sites? Brickies, plumbers etc, I presume they can just let rip with gay abandon?

Where do other people draw the line and/or not worry about launching an air biscuit?
 
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I think its just about having a bit of common courtesy really. I wouldnt do it in the office, but toilets are fair game as far as im concerned :mooning:
 
Personally, I never do it in the presence of the female half of our species (well except the wife and daughter but they can both hold their own believe me). It's just plain rude, ignorant and bad mannered to do this imo.
 
We all have 2 inbuilt safety valves

Burping

Passing wind

If we were unable to vent what would happen ?

Messy explosion :D
 
DorsetDude said:
They must be 'silent but deadlies' because I've never heard you.
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Extremely deadly :eek: but now come a deeply challenging question is it better to make a powerful aroma or a truly amazing sound :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
Surely the aroma is vital - how else are the hearing impaired supposed to enjoy anal eructations?
 
Nod said:
Surely the aroma is vital - how else are the hearing impaired supposed to enjoy anal eructations?
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Now my dear sir that is very enlightened of you to ensure you cover those of all disabilities :thumbs:
 
do it where ever I am - you should never be embarrassed about a normal bodily function
 
Al1944 said:
Let the wind go free
Where'er you be
In church or chapel
Let it rattle
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That's my Father-in-Law's favourite saying.... normally after he's burped at the dinning table and the MiL is giving him evils :lol:

I'm with the OP here with regards to the toilets at work, it should be classed as a free-fart zone although I've got some funny looks when I've let rip :lol:

I remember years ago one of the Directors came into the gents, he had a reputation (and rightly so) of being a complete A-hole (the sort of guy that pulls someone into their office to give them a coating for no reason and just fs and blinds at them.... lovely chap!) and he let a really loud fart go and followed up with "better out than in" :lol:

In the office itself..... tricky one..... if I think I can sneak it out quietly and it's not going to be too offensive I'll let it go. The problem is it's a large open plan office that's densely populated..... there could be a fair amount of collaterol damage :lol:

The wife and I are at the lovely stage in our relationship where "pull my finger" is perfectly accpetable and I'll hear her giggle at some of my more tuneful efforts first thing in the morning (who said romance is dead :lol: )
 
Do you fart in bed ?
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning
she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…….............…..”
 
mex said:
Do you fart in bed ?
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning
she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…….............…..”
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Its an oldy, but still a goody :D
 
mex said:
Do you fart in bed ?
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning
she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…….............…..”
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:puke: :lol:
 
I suffer from poorly controlled diabetes so it gets pretty windy in here most days, in fact my carers think its hilarious and have learnt that if I shout "run" when they're washing me that they do indeed need to run or suffer the consequences.

Today I had a plumber in sorting out my toilet, I'd just woken so as usual heralded the new day with a couple of full bodied parps.

"I thought you hadn't got a dog" comes the voice from the bathroom", I replied "I haven't", "but I just heard it bark" he replies, "no that was me" says I, "thats a hell of a talent you've got there mate" comes the reply as we both laugh ourselves silly.
 
I passed wind on the London underground once really tried to hold it in until tube stopped but couldn't,
Old dear next to me said i'm sorry everyone couldn't hold it in. Result :-)
 
POAH said:
why, what is wrong with farting?
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While someone is eating? Seriously? I enjoy ripping them off left, right and centre but I draw the line there. I'd expect a fist in my nose if I ever forgot and would deserve it.
 
DorsetDude said:
While someone is eating? Seriously? I enjoy ripping them off left, right and centre but I draw the line there. I'd expect a fist in my nose if I ever forgot and would deserve it.
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you expect to get assaulted just because you farted? hate to think how you discipline your children (if you have any)
 
POAH said:
you expect to get assaulted just because you farted? hate to think how you discipline your children (if you have any)
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I think the point is that most of us have better manners than that. Having a dump is natural (except for women of course), but its not exactly acceptable to do it in the street or in a restaurant in front of everyone is it?
 
Nikon_Nick said:
I think the point is that most of us have better manners than that. Having a dump is natural (except for women of course), but its not exactly acceptable to do it in the street or in a restaurant in front of everyone is it?
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Yeh can't argue against ignorance china. I wouldn't bother.
 
In fact just last week I gave a guy at my work both barrels. He dropped his guts in the office, stunk the whole place out and there was a female present too. It was effin' disgusting. Anybody who thinks this is acceptable behaviour should crawl back into their cave.

This bloke, he's a big unit but he got told what for in no uncertain terms. I also had to go jobbing with this guy as well and told him what the consequences would be if he dropped one in the motor. Suffice to say he didn't and I'm damn sure he wont do it again in the same circumstances. If it happened again with anybody else, regardless of their position within the Firm, Senior Management to the bloody cleaned I'd do exactly the same. There is no excuse for such gross bad mannered ignorance. It cannot be justified. The end!!!
 
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I was, and am, all for the smoking ban in pubs, I smoke as well, the downside is that all farts are no longer masked.

The best places to break wind are planes and hides, no escape for the victims.

I also lock the windows on the car if I fart and have passengers.
 
fracster said:
I was, and am, all for the smoking ban in pubs, I smoke as well, the downside is that all farts are no longer masked.

The best places to break wind are planes and hides, no escape for the victims.

I also lock the windows on the car if I fart and have passengers.
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You didn't do it when I was in your car. Good move coz you'd still be eating through a straw. Remind me never to enter one of your hides as well.:D
 
BRASH said:
You didn't do it when I was in your car. Good move coz you'd still be eating through a straw. Remind me never to enter one of your hides as well.:D
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I only refrained due to your daughter being with us all day.
 
fracster said:
No, she was a lot more petite than you and a damned site younger chief.
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Yeh, I can still pull em. Never lose it bud, never lose it!!
 
Unless you have a condition whereby you can't control when you fart, you should always do everything you can to hold it in - It's simply good manners and consideration for other people around you. The same goes for belching, although in some cultures it's regarded as a very acceptable sign to your host that you enjoyed the meal.

I was beaten at school on one occasion for belching so loudly during tea assembly that the whole dining room went silent. I got 3 strokes of the gym shoe after first being given the opportunity to give account of myself and it was then properly witnessed and entered in the book.

Anyone who is so inconsiderate to others and thinks it's clever is a crude oaf. Fart bags can be fun sometimes though.
 
POAH said:
do it where ever I am - you should never be embarrassed about a normal bodily function
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So are alot of things but you wouldn't do them at the dinner table would you, it's basic manners
 
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