A sad moment

Hugh Jarse

Hugh Jarse

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Steve
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I have been an enthusiastic amateur photographer since 1962.

I was never interested in going 'pro' and my greay joy was camera club competitions and family stuff.

31 years ago I was asked to cover a wedding for the daughter of a good (bjt very hard up) family friend and after a lot of persuasion I agreed to do it, with reservations. So on a nice sunny Saturday, laden with 35mm and 120 film, I covered the day. I had a friend who got my film off to a pro lab with a set of prints back to the hall inless than 2 hours.

My gift to the couple was the album and a hope of selling a few prints.

The pictures were back after the meal and I was pleased with the results.

Upshot was..... lots of ooohs and ahhhs - sold - sod all.

Jump forward to a phone call from the 'bride' - 5pm this evening.

Seems she and hubby split up 3 months ago, divorce is on the cards, then the reason for the call. She was looking for her wedding album..... seems hubby has nailed it to the garage wall and it is 'ruined'.... can I get a new one 'reprinted'.......

I think I have the negatives tucked away in a filing cabinet in my old business storage unit.

So...... for the first time in as long as I can remember I am flummoxed!

1. If the marriage has gone 't1ts up' - surely the pictures are not important?
2. None of her 3 kids (now all grown up) are bothered.
3. I am not paying out again.....

Disturding thing is I still have my old Pentax and Maniya kit...... I wonder if she will still have her wedding dress.....

Decisions decisions. It was and always will be the only 'paying' photography gig, which I ever did, which I really didn't want to do and now it has come back to haunt me......
 
Hmm, tough one.

wouldn't have a clue what to do in your situation.

Is she a close friend? Has she kept in touch all these years?

If not, lie and say you no longer have the negatives?
 
A weird one indeed! 31 years later she still expected you to have the "prints"? ( negatives)
I know you do, but I think I'd still say "sorry" not after all these years.

Hugh Jarse said:
seems hubby has nailed it to the garage wall
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I did chuckle at that ( Sorry :D )

Hugh Jarse said:
Decisions decisions. It was and always will be the only 'paying' photography gig, which I ever did, which I really didn't want to do and now it has come back to haunt me......
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But just remember no good turn goes unpunished ;)
 
GreenNinja67 said:
Hmm, tough one.

wouldn't have a clue what to do in your situation.

Is she a close friend? Has she kept in touch all these years?

If not, lie and say you no longer have the negatives?
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Her mother was a good friend but sadly not with us any longer. Her step-father and I fell out 10 years ago..... never met the father. Not really kept in touch after I moved out of London to Somersey via San Diego, Boston, Munich, Sydney..... etc

Maybe scan the negstives and send the .jpg/tif files but I am off to Ireland till October... soon
 
Cobra said:
A weird one indeed! 31 years later she still expected you to have the "prints"? ( negatives)
I know you do, but I think I'd still say "sorry" not after all these years.


I did chuckle at that ( Sorry :D )



But just remember no good turn goes unpunished ;)
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Fair points...... I can't even ponder the matter over a single malt... still not allowed alcohol :-(
 
Tell her you can't find the negatives. Easiest way out of it. You can always find them later if you change your mind...
 
Hugh Jarse said:
Fair points...... I can't even ponder the matter over a single malt... still not allowed alcohol :-(
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I'll have one for you, and get back to you, how does that sound?

:D
 
srichards said:
Tell her you can't find the negatives. Easiest way out of it. You can always find them later if you change your mind...
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Hmmm could be a temporary answer. I try never to lie, then I don't have to remember what I have said......
 
broc said:
Offer to send her the negatives(if you can find them) & suggest she finds someone to print them for her?
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I would say that's a good solution. The suggestions of lying to her to get out of it are a tad callous considering the situation she finds herself in. If it was me, I'd want to do whatever I realistically could to help her out and would hope others would do the same for me in that kind of place. Find the negatives and send them to her and I'm sure she'll be really appreciative. I also don't think making money out of this situation is good advice. Sometimes we just need to have a little grace.

And if after all she's going through and what her hubby has just done, she still wants photos of her wedding, I'll bet 20 bucks and my left nut she still has her wedding dress, too.
 
broc said:
Offer to send her the negatives(if you can find them) & suggest she finds someone to print them for her?
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This ^^^
Why possibly add to any grief she may already be experiencing?
 
broc said:
Offer to send her the negatives(if you can find them) & suggest she finds someone to print them for her?
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Totally agree. Why add to her pain. I'm a great believer in what goes around comes around and you never know when you might need a favour in a difficult situation in the future from someone else
 
gramps said:
This ^^^
Why possibly add to any grief she may already be experiencing?
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Better than telling her lies about losing the negatives, or not even bothering to look, like some have suggested?
 
broc said:
Better than telling her lies about losing the negatives, or not even bothering to look, like some have suggested?
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My comment was agreeing with you :)
 
Just because something is over does not mean things associated with it are no longer important.

If you don't want to help her, then be honest and tell her that. Don't obfuscate.
 
You mention that her mother has passed, it may be that the album has shots of family members together that don't exist anywhere else. This is quite common for weddings albums.

If you've got the negatives then just let her have them would be what I'd do - no question about it.
 
If someone wanted some old negatives that I had no use for then I'd let them have them - they would then have the cost of creating an album rather than myself
 
broc said:
Offer to send her the negatives(if you can find them) & suggest she finds someone to print them for her?
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Problem is that my storage unit at Big Yellow is the only place they can be. Will struggle for time to actually go through over 50 years of negatives (I still shoot film) and they are coded sheets in folders. I catalogued them properly from about 15 years ago when I was using more photography for my engineering consultancy business....

I am just weeks away from a (minimum) 6 month trip to Ireland......

I will not be able to sort things till October.

Let's be blunt - there is weeks of work in the search. How many of us have that much spare time. I am busier now in retirement than I was when I worked.
 
Then tell her that
 
Grateful to all comments. I am not keen on lying as it is invidious plus you have to remember the lie.

I am seriously busy until I start my trip and, as I mention above, how many people have that much spare time to be able to drop everything. I bought an Epson V500 scanner years ago to digitise my negatives - probaby sorted about 1% of the earlier ones and, it the latter years the film development was aimed at the labs that provided CD copies.

I really want to help but time is our one big enemy. I am at a point when there are fewer tomorrows than yesterdays. Right now I cannot give that time except, selfish as it may seem, to my own wants, needs and desires. I include my clisest family in my needs.

I think my honest answer will be, I do not know for sure exactly where the negs are but I will not be able to check till the Autumn.

Grateful for every comment.

Steve
 
I would just give her the negatives and let her sort out the prints. Perhaps give her the details of a few labs.


Steve.
 
Open a bidding war between her and her ex ;)

(Sorry - couldn't resist!)

Seriously, if it involves a lot of work, you've got to tell her and she should expect to pay you for your time.
 
Steve Smith said:
I would just give her the negatives and let her sort out the prints. Perhaps give her the details of a few labs.


Steve.
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I would tell her as above, but she will just have to wait for them as its going to take days to find them.
 
I would be honest with her and say that you think you still have the original negatives, but they are in archived storage along with many thousands of others and that it would be a few days work just to locate them. Explain that you are heading off to Ireland for 6 months shortly, and don't have enough free time to search for them before you go away. Ask her to keep in touch and when you get back you'll attempt to locate them, scan them in and from there you can get prints made or possibly make up an album.

That way you don't need to lie, you have been up front about how much work is involved and that there would likely be a fee to cover your time and any prints. Alternatively, you could gift her the negatives with some advice on getting prints or an album made from them.
 
If it helps at all I was in Aldi today and saw a negative scanner, so if you don't have one already at least it wouldn't be a huge expense - you could get her to pay for it explaining that to get the shot to jpg you'd need them
 
I would never do anything in this world for free chap!
 
I wouldn't find this a problem at all. Just give a price that makes it worth your while.
 
Personally I would simply explain that the negatives are somewhere in a storage locker and that it would take weeks to find them. Then suggest that if you happen to find them in the future you will forward them on and she should keep you up to date on her contact details.

All I would do is to forward on the negatives, I wouldn't even contemplate a reprint of the album unless she is going to line your pockets.
 
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