A really really poor joke ( I have just noticed Marcel)

Matt Sayle

2017MSA Young Photographer of the Year(Motorsport)
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Matt Sayle
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Polar bear walks into a bar, puts one paw on the counter and says "I'll have a gin"..............(5 seconds pass)........puts the other paw on the bar and syas "and tonic"
Barmaid says, "No problem, but why the big pause?"
 
:razz: :D
 
i like your joke it was good
 
Can Matt have the coat Title now?
 
Hah! I is free!! :D
 
Hah! I is free!! :D

Yeah but you're in danger of getting it back if you tell more jokes :p

Oi its getting a little crowded in here!
I thought I was the only one with "loves the place"
Please give Steep his " has a biggun'" or what ever it was, so I can again be unique
Thanks in advance :thumbs:
 
The Queen visits Glasgow Royal Infirmary, and is shown around. In one ward, one patient says to her, "My lurve is leek a rade rade rose..". The next patient says to her "Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie!". Her Majesty says to the guide: "..Psychiatric ward?". Guide says: "Nope.. serious Burns unit..."
 
A bloke buys his Mrs a fur coat made from hamsters. He takes her to Blackpool pleasure beach for the day & she spends six hours on the big wheel
 
A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a pint of lager. The barman says "That's funny - we've got a whisky named after you" The horse replies "What ? Eric?"
 
The Queen visits Glasgow Royal Infirmary, and is shown around. In one ward, one patient says to her, "My lurve is leek a rade rade rose..". The next patient says to her "Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie!". Her Majesty says to the guide: "..Psychiatric ward?". Guide says: "Nope.. serious Burns unit..."
Not bad :)

A bloke buys his Mrs a fur coat made from hamsters. He takes her to Blackpool pleasure beach for the day & she spends six hours on the big wheel
Pathetic :p

A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a pint of lager. The barman says "That's funny - we've got a whisky named after you" The horse replies "What ? Eric?"
Heard it It wasn't funny the previous 5 times either:D
 
A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a pint of lager. The barman says "That's funny - we've got a whisky named after you" The horse replies "What ? Eric?"

I like that :lol:
 
A sales rep is driving down the road when he sees a sign out side a pub " make my donkey laugh and I will give you £10000." The rep decides to give it a go so he pulls into the pub and goes in. "Pint of lager landlord please, and what this deal with making the donkey laugh?"
" Well" goes the landlord " It like this he is the most miserable ass on this planet, I am feed up with it he just stands there with a long face making all the punters miserable, so I thought if I could get him to laugh just once he might be better."
"OK" says the rep " I will give it a go" He goes out to the donkey and whispers in the donkeys ear and the donkey starts laughing. The rep goes back into the pub and drinks his pint. The landlord is over the moon and gives the rep the 10k and the rep leaves.
A couple of weeks later the rep is driving past the same pub and there is a sign outside the pub " Shut my Donkey up and I will give you £20000." So the Rep goes into the pub and says to the landlord "Whats wrong, only 2 weeks ago you paid me 10K to make him laugh now you will pay me £20k to shut him up?"
Landlord says " Yeap thats right he hasn't stopped laughing for 2 weeks, it is driving me insane and the punters will not come in because of the noise."
"Right then give me 2 mins, and I will shut him up"
Out goes the Rep and whispers in the donkey's ear and the donkey looks at him still laughing, as the rep stands up straight again the donkey just stops laughing.
As the rep goes back into the bar the landlord gives him the 20k and asks " just out of curiosity, how did you make him laugh and how did you shut him up?"
"easy" Says the rep, " To make him laugh I just told him I was better hung than him, and to shut him up I showed him."


:D
 
Wow, I was expecting everyone to throw rotten tomateos at me :D

tomaatit.gif
 
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