A joke that had me almost crying with laughter

:|
You must be severely intoxicated to laugh so hardly at that :D
 
nope, sorry, not even a twitch of the smiley muscle here either :(
 
Sorry Matt :thumbsdown:
thats as bad as
What's green and smells of pork?..........................






Kermits dick
 
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left shoulder and screams, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"
"Well , no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."


This any better?
 
that got a smile:thumbs:
 
Matt Sayle said:
Git I was in the process of posting a version of that :lol:
Click to expand...

:p

Matt Sayle said:
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"
"Well , no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
This any better?
Click to expand...

:thumbsdown: thats older than me :D
Looks like Cobra's TFI Fridays have nothing to fear :D
 
well I'm laughing - must be time for bed - must be the larger after all that cider....:eek:
 
Can anyone join in?
There was a sadist, a murderer, a necrophiliac, an arsonist and a masochist all sat in a prison garden.

Anyhow, a cat walked past in front of them, stopped, turned around and walk back past them.

This got the sadist thinking "Lets hurt the cat" he says.

"NO! I've got a better idea. Lets hurt the cat and then kill it" says the murderer.

The necrophile was in agreement but wanted more, "Great he says, but I think we should hurt the cat, kill it and then have sex with it".

The arsonist wanted a piece of the action too but his plan included extra. "I think it's great that we're going to hurt the cat, then kill it and have sex with it but I think we should burn it too."

The cat must've heard them and saving one of it's nine lives made a dash for it spoiling their plans.

They all said "DAMN!" except the masochist who went "Meeeooooowwwwwwwww"......
Click to expand...
 
Matt first one was very poor, blonde joke was better.

TI - took me a few seconds to get it but :lol:

time for an Irish joke:

Two Irish couples agree to swap partners for a night of passion. After three hours of amazing sex Paddy says "I wonder how the girls are doing" :D

made me chuckle :)
 
I've never looked forward to Friday soooo much........
 
Well seeing as this has turned out to be a bad joke thread here's another:

Paddys girlfriend gets a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh. Paddy says that when you put your ear on it you can actually smell the sea !!
 
inaneredstripe said:
do humans realy taste like chicken?
Click to expand...
No I believe its pork :thumbs:
How do you catch a polar bear?
You cut a large hole in the ice and place a "pulse" at the edge
When the bear comes out to take a pea you kick it in the ice-hole :thumbs:
 
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