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A haggard old lady is riding in a posh hotel's lift.
On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on, smelling divine. She looks arrogantly at the old lady and says, "Georgio, £100 an ounce."
On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on, smelling lovely as well. In an effort to outdo she turns to the two other women and says, "Chanel, £150 an ounce."
The old lady had just about enough of this showing off and as she arrives at her floor, the doors open, she looks at the
two young ladies, bends over picks up her bags, farts and says, ............"Broccoli, 49 pence a pound."
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So this panda gets out of bed and takes one last look at the prostitute on the bed as he heads for the door.
She wakes up and shouts "You Panada, were do you think you are going" and she throws a dictionary at him.
Prostitute - " Look up the word prostitute - Someone who sells sex for money, now pay up"
The panda chuckles and throws the dictionary back a her.
Panda - " I am a panda, look up panda" where you will find it says Eats shoots and leaves.
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Victoria Beckham and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when they ran over a cow, so Posh told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and tell them what happend. an hour later the driver came staggering back to the car in disarray. he was holding a wine bottle in one hand a cigar in the other and smiling happily.
"What happend?" asked Posh.
The driver replied "The farmer gave me the wine , his wife gave me the cigar , and their beautiful daughter shagged me senseless."
"My god what did you tell them?" asked Posh.
"I just said I'm Victoria Beckham's driver, and I just killed the cow."
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A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her.
She decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended she see the well-known Chinese sex therapist, Dr.Chang. Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all you crose."
The woman did as she was told.
"Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room."
Again, the woman did as she was instructed.
Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me."
So she did.
Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, "Your probrem vely bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."
Worried, the woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"
Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eye and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your arse."
On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on, smelling divine. She looks arrogantly at the old lady and says, "Georgio, £100 an ounce."
On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on, smelling lovely as well. In an effort to outdo she turns to the two other women and says, "Chanel, £150 an ounce."
The old lady had just about enough of this showing off and as she arrives at her floor, the doors open, she looks at the
two young ladies, bends over picks up her bags, farts and says, ............"Broccoli, 49 pence a pound."
-----------------------------------
So this panda gets out of bed and takes one last look at the prostitute on the bed as he heads for the door.
She wakes up and shouts "You Panada, were do you think you are going" and she throws a dictionary at him.
Prostitute - " Look up the word prostitute - Someone who sells sex for money, now pay up"
The panda chuckles and throws the dictionary back a her.
Panda - " I am a panda, look up panda" where you will find it says Eats shoots and leaves.
-----------------------------------
Victoria Beckham and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when they ran over a cow, so Posh told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and tell them what happend. an hour later the driver came staggering back to the car in disarray. he was holding a wine bottle in one hand a cigar in the other and smiling happily.
"What happend?" asked Posh.
The driver replied "The farmer gave me the wine , his wife gave me the cigar , and their beautiful daughter shagged me senseless."
"My god what did you tell them?" asked Posh.
"I just said I'm Victoria Beckham's driver, and I just killed the cow."
-------------------------------------------
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her.
She decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended she see the well-known Chinese sex therapist, Dr.Chang. Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all you crose."
The woman did as she was told.
"Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room."
Again, the woman did as she was instructed.
Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me."
So she did.
Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, "Your probrem vely bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."
Worried, the woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"
Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eye and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your arse."
