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- Matt Sayle
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Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men....that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes.
After a few days they meet again..... The engaged girlfriend said: 'The other night, when my boyfriend came home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4' stilettos and mask. He said, 'You are the woman of my life, I love you....then we made love all night long.'
The mistress stated: 'Oh Yes! The other night we met in the office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just had a wild night.'
The married one then said: 'The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mothers for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV remote and a beer, and said, 'Hey Batman, what's for dinner?
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I went to the doctor today to talk about contraception.
She said "You could try French letters".
I said "What's that?"
She said "Condoms"
I said "I don't like them".
So she said "You should try the French Army method then".
I said "What's that?"
She said "You pull out before you get into trouble!".
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London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.
He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense!!
Glasgow cop says, ' License and registration, please'
London Lawyer says, 'What for?'
Glasgow cop says, 'Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign'
London Lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming'
Glasgow cop says 'Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please'
London Lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'
Glasgow cop says, 'The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop, that's the law, License and registration, please!'
London Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration, and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'
Glasgow cop says 'Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir'
The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.
The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the f*** out of the lawyer and says 'Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow doon?'
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I got aroused last week whilst watching Countdown with Carol Vorderman.
7 letters isn't too shabby is it?
After a few days they meet again..... The engaged girlfriend said: 'The other night, when my boyfriend came home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4' stilettos and mask. He said, 'You are the woman of my life, I love you....then we made love all night long.'
The mistress stated: 'Oh Yes! The other night we met in the office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just had a wild night.'
The married one then said: 'The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mothers for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV remote and a beer, and said, 'Hey Batman, what's for dinner?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I went to the doctor today to talk about contraception.
She said "You could try French letters".
I said "What's that?"
She said "Condoms"
I said "I don't like them".
So she said "You should try the French Army method then".
I said "What's that?"
She said "You pull out before you get into trouble!".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.
He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense!!
Glasgow cop says, ' License and registration, please'
London Lawyer says, 'What for?'
Glasgow cop says, 'Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign'
London Lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming'
Glasgow cop says 'Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please'
London Lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'
Glasgow cop says, 'The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop, that's the law, License and registration, please!'
London Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration, and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'
Glasgow cop says 'Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir'
The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.
The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the f*** out of the lawyer and says 'Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow doon?'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I got aroused last week whilst watching Countdown with Carol Vorderman.
7 letters isn't too shabby is it?
