365.09.Reloaded

Exactly. Then you realise its been 4 days since you went out.
 
...and the milk has started its own colony in your fridge?

no, just me? ok:coat:
 
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Wednesday. The highlight of my recent Wednesdays is Bleach. Its a Japanese anime series about a school kid who takes the powers of a Shinigami (Death God). From then on the story unfolds. Its your typical anime. New threats come along, people get stronger, defeat bad guys, new threats. Its really entertaining with classic anime humour thrown in. Random chibi moments, breaking the 4th wall, etc. The guy here is Ichigo Kurasaki, the hero. He's holding his Zanpaktu, which is a sort of self aware sword. I need to get a new figure because theres this form, his Bankai form and his Hollow transformation form too. If you're not into anime you'll think I'm watching kids cartoons. If you are into anime you'll get my enthusiasm.

[youtube]Z9MJwWMYK4A[/youtube]

(Most recent intro - Intros being a very important aspect of anime series)
 
i notice there are a few more figures behind, hope we get to see them all!

do you reckon he would manage to banish your beard back to hell/wherever they go when he cuts them up?
 
Well done on the article and the Photoblog award mate!! Well deserved!

I also liked the mention of your "friendly writing-style". ;)
 
Just read that article Pete, and you are a complete inspiration.

Really appreciate it, thanks :)

i notice there are a few more figures behind, hope we get to see them all!

do you reckon he would manage to banish your beard back to hell/wherever they go when he cuts them up?

There are. Major Motoko Kusanagi from Ghost in the Shell, with bad feet so she keeps falling over. Master Chief from Halo and Solid Snake from MGS2. Beard has been trimmed already though :)

Well done on the article and the Photoblog award mate!! Well deserved!

I also liked the mention of your "friendly writing-style". ;)

Thanks :)
 
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Good day. Got some work done. Setup my external monitor to act as a digital photo frame. its an odd thing and some may say its a waste of a display but having all your favourite photos pop up at 15'' size is nice to see. In the afternoon I went to visit HMS Ark Royal. I wasn't really planning on getting a lot of photos but I got some nice ones on the press tour. Nice cuppa too. After I bumped into some mates, had my soul stolen by their camera and wandered off to my car via this bridge. A good day. Nice to chat to real people, have a laugh and spend time away from the computer.
 
OMG, ITS COLOUR!!!!!:p

nice shot pete, glad the beard got trimmed, looks better.
lets hope you have a lot more days like this
 
great shot Pete, look at your EYES!!
 
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Just a quick shot as I edit the days photos. Splashed out on a new shutter release button for my D700. £55 :/ Very annoying but it does the job. Got some long exposures at Ark Royal. Anime in the background is this weeks Bleach. Kenpachi going to town on an Arrancar.
 
I like it, I saw your Ark Royal shot on your blog, its a fantastic shot but so similar to your last one- long exposure, same position with a B&W conversion. Ive never been to Liverpool so I don't know the way the docks work but maybe shoot it in the day or a close up? You've probably done those thing loads before but I only started following your blog a few months ago.

EDIT: Ive just seen the new colour one on there, thats what im talking about, different coluors and further away. Good job.
 
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Pete - what happened to your D700 shutter release button...? Why did you have to buy a new one...? Surely if it broke you could have a free replacement?
 
Pete - what happened to your D700 shutter release button...? Why did you have to buy a new one...? Surely if it broke you could have a free replacement?

Its a remote cord you use to get shutter speeds longer than 30 seconds without having to hold your finger on the shutter.
 
It is very close to it. As I said in the blog I'm trying to find a new way of shooting it because it came in last year. Its sister ship came in too. I've done in to death because I was comissioned to do so. Been on board them all, exclusive shots and such. I wanted to get a ferry trip but the weather is rubbish for it. So I'm trying to perfect the long exposure shot because thats about the best light of the day. No good sunsets. Grey overcast days with little detail in the clouds.
 
Pete - what happened to your D700 shutter release button...? Why did you have to buy a new one...? Surely if it broke you could have a free replacement?

It didn't break. Its badly designed.

1828032.jpg


So it points inwards instead of outwards. It pushes the lens unlock button. Cheap £5 job. Decided it wasn't worth buying 10 of them off ebay to find one that went on the right way so I bought the official from Calumet.
 
It is very close to it. As I said in the blog I'm trying to find a new way of shooting it because it came in last year. Its sister ship came in too. I've done in to death because I was comissioned to do so. Been on board them all, exclusive shots and such. I wanted to get a ferry trip but the weather is rubbish for it. So I'm trying to perfect the long exposure shot because thats about the best light of the day. No good sunsets. Grey overcast days with little detail in the clouds.

Just edited my last post, just seen the colour version. Its from further away which is nice and its done slightly earlier so brighter image. I suppose there is only so many ways you can do the same thing though.
 
Indeed. The sun goes around behind the ship so this is the best angle. You've either got the back end or front end. I got 915 shots when she first came in last year and 487 of her sister ship.
 
I really fracked up the numbers so I'm back to #13.

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Meh. How do you write about depression without sounding like a bit of a whiney woe is me emo type? How do you get the message across to people that just don't get it? The past week has been really meh. There are good moments with friends. I have a laugh, enjoy things but after I'm dead. Its been a hard week with all the fighting and negative comments on forums. Sure there aren't a great deal of them but for me 1 negative comment at the wrong time outways everything I've ever done. Its stupid. Its annoying. Its just the way I am and I have to wait it out before I get back to work. Someone will say something bad and it'll get to me, and then I'll recall everything bad this week and it all gets to me. Then I think about everything else thats bad and that gets to me. Its dominoes. I can flip like a switch and I'm gone. I have no way back. I don't just cheer up and while I appreciate everyones nice comments all I can do is wait. Its not just feeling down. Its feeling numb, empty, pointless, worthless, rubbish, broken. Thing is, this isn't even a bad day.
 
I really fracked up the numbers so I'm back to #13.

365.13.170109



Meh. How do you write about depression without sounding like a bit of a whiney woe is me emo type? How do you get the message across to people that just don't get it? The past week has been really meh. There are good moments with friends. I have a laugh, enjoy things but after I'm dead. Its been a hard week with all the fighting and negative comments on forums. Sure there aren't a great deal of them but for me 1 negative comment at the wrong time outways everything I've ever done. Its stupid. Its annoying. Its just the way I am and I have to wait it out before I get back to work. Someone will say something bad and it'll get to me, and then I'll recall everything bad this week and it all gets to me. Then I think about everything else thats bad and that gets to me. Its dominoes. I can flip like a switch and I'm gone. I have no way back. I don't just cheer up and while I appreciate everyones nice comments all I can do is wait. Its not just feeling down. Its feeling numb, empty, pointless, worthless, rubbish, broken. Thing is, this isn't even a bad day.

Oh Pete. I have friends who suffer from depression and describe it like this....it really really sucks that there is nothing really that can be said or done to help snap you out of it...and i imagine that words really dont seem to mean much when u are feeling like so, so i dont want to be condescending and say anything cheesy. Except you are not worthless, rubbish, broken or any of the above and i hope that you feel better soon and i'm sorry that i cant help :( *hug*
 
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Thanks :) The nice supportive comments are really appreciated but its like trying to kiss a broken leg better :)
 
Thanks :) The nice supportive comments are really appreciated but its like trying to kiss a broken leg better :)

Yeah thats what I thought....hmmm
 
Makes no odds I know, but chin up fella.

For every one that has a pop out of petty jealousy, there are three dozen who look, read, and admire your work and get inspired by it to do better themselves. You have good days and you have bad days but, outside of that, you are an inspiration to many EVERY day, so don't ever forget that.

As you said, it's not a case of 'get over it' because you can't, but with the friends you have here and the people you inspire, you can draw on that to help make sure there are more good days than bad.

Keep going mate, we'll still be here :thumbs:

It may be like kissing better a broken leg but, with lots of 'kisses' from those who care, the healing process can be a less painful and lonely journey.
 
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I think if a person's lifestyle is largely bias towards spending time alone then it's very easy to get caught in a downward spiral with no one to help stop the slide especially if they're already susceptible to feeling a bit down. I know for some people, talking things through helps to put things back into perspective. That's were a good dose of real human interaction with friends and family can help.

I've spent a lot of time working on my own, being the one who has to drive things forward or else things don't happen. Procrastination and wallowing are great productivity killers.

Hope you've got some support to fall back on, Pete.
 
Pete, I suffered from depression a few years ago when I went through a bad time, without going in too deep what actually helped me was talking to a councellor (people say they are crap but it worked for me) and also when they doubled my dose of anti-depressants.

"Depression" the term is used far to easily for my liking, its like that illness (can't remember the name) where kids get angry and out of control easily, they say their ill where most of the time its bad parenting or just the kids. However..... from the way you have described how it makes sounds like you are 100% suffering from depression.

There are lots and lots of different forms of depression but you sound like me, its good to talk about it and its beyond fustrating when nothing helps but time will help and go to the doctors mate.

Keep your head up!

Luke
 
Agree with Luke 100%. Counselling is great, you just have to be open to it. I was wary at first but it's a great opportunity to talk through absolutely anything with someone impartial. Medication has helped too, but whilst it helps stop the real downers, it also stifles the ups too. I've just reduced mine to low and hoping to give it a go off them soon, having depended on them for the last three years!

You've got immense talent Pete, I think you're understanding that now rather than questioning yourself as much as you used to all those years ago. But I can appreciate the need for a pat on the back from others to make things seem worthwhile. You have no need to worry about that. And whilst there may be those who don't get your work, wouldn't it be dull if everyone liked everything you did?
 
Makes no odds I know, but chin up fella.

For every one that has a pop out of petty jealousy, there are three dozen who look, read, and admire your work and get inspired by it to do better themselves. You have good days and you have bad days but, outside of that, you are an inspiration to many EVERY day, so don't ever forget that.

As you said, it's not a case of 'get over it' because you can't, but with the friends you have here and the people you inspire, you can draw on that to help make sure there are more good days than bad.

Keep going mate, we'll still be here :thumbs:

It may be like kissing better a broken leg but, with lots of 'kisses' from those who care, the healing process can be a less painful and lonely journey.

Cheers :) It is the nice comments from people that remind me that I've done good. Just when you're that low nothing works, or at least it doesn't stick.

Hope you've got some support to fall back on, Pete.

I have my irc client on all day chatting to the TP members, live with my folks as they're not well, but its not quite the same as years ago when my mates still lived 5 mins away. Left the country now for bigger n better things. Miss those days.

"Depression" the term is used far to easily for my liking, its like that illness (can't remember the name) where kids get angry and out of control easily, they say their ill where most of the time its bad parenting or just the kids. However..... from the way you have described how it makes sounds like you are 100% suffering from depression.

There are lots and lots of different forms of depression but you sound like me, its good to talk about it and its beyond fustrating when nothing helps but time will help and go to the doctors mate.

Keep your head up!

Luke

I certainly have put it off for many years. I'm not depressed, I can't be cos I don't feel sad and I have nothing to be sad about. But thats just it. Its completely illogical and theres no real reason for it. Wrong thing, wrong time and I'm down. Consistent wrong things during this time and I don't get up. I've been out with mates when this kicks in and I've lost friends due to it. Everything is so completely utterly pointless but they don't get it. Just think I'm moody and want nothing to do with that. Life is fun :D

As for forms I'm fairly sure its bipolar. Mates have said to me before now that its like theres two of me and they dunno which they'll get. Love the ups though. *bang* GO! Pics pics pics pics pics WEEEEEEEE!!!!

Agree with Luke 100%. Counselling is great, you just have to be open to it. I was wary at first but it's a great opportunity to talk through absolutely anything with someone impartial. Medication has helped too, but whilst it helps stop the real downers, it also stifles the ups too. I've just reduced mine to low and hoping to give it a go off them soon, having depended on them for the last three years!

You've got immense talent Pete, I think you're understanding that now rather than questioning yourself as much as you used to all those years ago. But I can appreciate the need for a pat on the back from others to make things seem worthwhile. You have no need to worry about that. And whilst there may be those who don't get your work, wouldn't it be dull if everyone liked everything you did?

Most of the time I'm able to shrug off silly people or respond sarcastically just to get back at them for making such stupid comments :) Trying to limit that though because to the casual observer I just look like a sarcastic cock as I'm sure many on TP already know ;) Without that way of venting, so to speak, its just like "Whats the point?" Ah well. Today is a different day and I'm in a better mood so frack em :D

your picture portrays your mood well, hope you have a better day today

hugs

Cheers :) I am feeling better. Sun is out, some nice clouds to HDR and hopefully it lasts long enough for a ferry trip. Hopefully :)
 
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Feeling better today thanks to everyones nice comments yesterday and some sleep. Spent some time reading a few HDR discussions. Same old silly comments. I think the worst offender is the way people see HDR as something outside of normal photography. It think its a bit dangerous to do so. HDR is no different to RAW. Its a way of getting more detail out of your photos. HDR, B&W, colour, lomo, are all ways of getting the end result. Its all photography. The sooner people simply accept it as a photographic technique and move on the better. If you don't, well I have a gun. I will end you.
 
Good to see you smiling Pete (even if it is rather maniacal! :D) and glad you're feeling better. :thumbs:

As for HDR, don't really like it myself, but I'd defend to the death your right to use it! ;)

Thanks :)

Pete you have a great smile you should do it more often :D

Too man people died last time so I try and limit my smiling ;)
 
Two photos of you smiling in one week??! Be careful Pete, your reputation is at stake :p

Love that one though, it shows your silly side :D

As for
I certainly have put it off for many years. I'm not depressed, I can't be cos I don't feel sad and I have nothing to be sad about. But thats just it. Its completely illogical and theres no real reason for it.

This is my take on that:

Quite often the problem is that people don't have anything specific to be depressed about but they feel sad and low and like crying all the time and sometimes they don't - for apparently no reason.

Generally it's because you cope. And then sometimes, when you let your guard down, it all hits you right between the eyes. Its like when you're hungry but you don't know what to eat because nothing is what you want.

Sometimes there is nothing tangible wrong - nothing you can put your finger but something just isn't right and it can affect you in so many different ways. A lot of dealing with depression is about trying to figure out what is wrong so that you can deal with the source. Like sometimes you have a sore neck because a lower back muscle is strained, you might be irritable and angry for no apparent reason, but there is something causing it. It's trying to identify what *that something* is that's the problem because half the time, you don't know. Imagine knowing that you have nothing to be depressed about but crying because you feel so rubbish and have no idea why. To me, that's even scarier than being depressed or miserable because something bad has happened, at least you know why you're feeling that way.

Keep your chin up chick, you know where I am and that I understand.
 
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